Maybe the greenies don't like it when you act like a fool...

[waltappel 1]

...but I have to admit that most of the time I really like seeing someone make an ass out of themself. Not that I wish idiocy on anyone, but if someone is going to act foolish of their own accord, I like it.

It makes me feel better about the times I have made a complete fool of myself throwing a shit fit.

One of my favorite times of acting like an idiot was a few years back when I was at the DZ. I had gotten so incredibly frustrated with the whole combination of politics/RW and the deterioration of my flying skills because I wasn't willing to be on a team but was unable to get a group together that wanted to really work on some skills.

Anyway, something minor put me over the edge. I don't even remember what it was, but it was one of those "straw that breaks the camel's back" kinds of things.

Or maybe it was just my time to act like a fool!

I didn't do anything like yell at anyone, throw shit around, or anything like that--I'm *much* less intelligent than that on those truly rare occasions when I get upset.

No, I knew I needed to blow off some steam so I decided to do it by walking home from the DZ. I lived on the west side of Houston. The DZ (Spaceland) is well south of Houston and the distance is 35 miles or so.

I went to the DZ with a friend who was in from out of town and I gave him the keys to my car and my apartment told me I was hell-bent on being a fool and walking home. He's a good guy and just told me to call if I wanted a ride somewhere along the way.

After walking a few miles along a pitch-black highway (not one of the brightest things I have done) I hitched a ride for 5 or 10 miles. Traffic was very light after that so I kept walkin', and walkin'...

Finally, I saw something that would let me take my stupidity to an entirely new level: a TRAIN!!! Naturally I deluded myself into thinking that this wonderful train was almost certainly headed toward my place. All I would need to do is hop the train, which was going a bit fast, and then gleefully ride until it got within a half-mile or so of my apartment, and then casually jump off and walk home.

At least that was the plan.

I hurried down to the tracks and saw that I would have to sprint down a path of rocks, broken glass, weeds, etc., alongside the train, grab a handle on a car, jump, and hang on for dear life. Still quite deluded about the easy cruise to within blocks of my apartment, this seemed like a wonderful thing to do!

Strangely enough, I pulled it off. "Cool", I thought, "my badassness has truly reached new heights!!!"

I got on my cell phone and called my friend, telling him of my ingenious use of wits to get an easy ride home. He thought it was quite cool that I was train surfing. Yes, I was feeling quite smug. I was not only a badass, but a brilliant badass!!!

Wrong.

After a while I realized that the train was actually headed back toward the DZ and the speed was increasing?

At times, life seems quite unfair to people who act like idiots.

I decided to hop off the train, but it was really hauling ass! How could I pull this one off?

I saw that the train was crossing over a creek ahead. I thought if it was wide enough, deep, enough, and I timed it just right, I could jump off the train, land in the water, and resume walking home.

Fortunately I wasn't totally retarded that night! I decided against it.

Meanwhile, I noticed that the train was going through a really, really bad neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood where a white boy should not be on a Saturday night. Not under ANY circumstances.

"Could this get any worse?," I thought. Why yes, of course!

I looked ahead and saw the end of civilization as we know it--at least as far as that concept applies while riding a train through a ghetto. I saw the ghetto fade into trees, fields, and a bunch of nothingness. And the train was speeding up!

I knew I had to get off that train and not only survive the hop off the train, but survive ghetto life long enough to call my friend for a ride.

Funny how easy it is working up nerve when you are in a truly desperate situation! I took some deep breaths, launched forward and a little bit to the side and prepared to hit the ground in the fastest sprint ever!

I'll never know how I did it, but I managed to pull it off! I was quite pleased with that, and also quite pleased that I was across the street from a fast food place, but the reality of being in the ghetto on a Saturday night set in very quickly.

I walked past the drug dealers in the parking lot into the fast food place. To say the least, there were a bunch of really confused looking bruthas in there. "What da' fuck is you doin' in HERE, white boy?!!!" I went in the bathroom to wash the train grease off before heading down the road.

I called my friend again on the cell phone. By that time a BASE-jumping buddy of mine was at my apartment with my friend and new the whole situation. He also knew the neighborhood where I was.

"Walt, get the FUCK out of there!!! Find someplace where you can hide. We're on the way down. Just call my cell and tell us where we can find you. I'm not kidding dude, they find dead bodies down there on a regular basis!!!"

That was the new plan. I was motivated to follow it to the letter! I was soooooooooooooooo relieved when they picked me up! They thought the train-surfing was cool, but other than that were quite amazed at the depths of idiocy I had stooped to.

Anyway, after that, I kinda' like seeing people act like fools.

Walt

[pilotdave 0]

This is about the 20th thread I've seen that references some crazy events from earlier today. I was on here. How'd I miss the fun? I always miss the fun. Maybe I'm just picky about what threads I open. I dunno. But what I do know is that I need a dz.com tivo. Ya know, something to record all the drama when I'm not paying attention. Instead of a commercial skip feature, it'd skip over boring posts and get right to the good stuff.

Why am I never involved in any drama? C'mon, it's winter, I'm not jumping much, I'm bored!

Dave

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

No biggie Walt, you're a good man and forgiven. You've been an unconditional friend to me and I can't thank you enough for that.

_________________________________________

[waltappel 1]

Quote

This is about the 20th thread I've seen that references some crazy events from earlier today. I was on here. How'd I miss the fun? I always miss the fun. Maybe I'm just picky about what threads I open. I dunno. But what I do know is that I need a dz.com tivo. Ya know, something to record all the drama when I'm not paying attention. Instead of a commercial skip feature, it'd skip over boring posts and get right to the good stuff.

Why am I never involved in any drama? C'mon, it's winter, I'm not jumping much, I'm bored!

Dave

You're not alone. I missed the action too because I was at work and don't have access to dz.com there. I hope all involved will forgive and forget in a hurry.

We're a family. A dysfunction family for sure, but still a family.

Walt

[lisamariewillbe 1]

I think we need on-call therapists,

your story was great, I want what your on

I wasnt here for it either..... repressing the memory.... wine mixed with pepsi (nico is gonna kill me) is the best thing to cure drama,

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[waltappel 1]

Quote

I think we need on-call therapists,

your story was great, I want what your on

I wasnt here for it either..... repressing the memory.... wine mixed with pepsi (nico is gonna kill me) is the best thing to cure drama,

At the time I had turned into something I had long sworn I would never turn into--a spoiled little crybaby skydiver that whines like a little piss ant when he doesn't get his way at the DZ.

You don't want that!

The train surfing part was kind of cool, though I don't plan on ever doing that again. I'm sure I will come up with some other perfectly stupid thing to do, though. When I do, if I survive it, I'll post it!

Walt

[tdog 0]

Quote

This is about the 20th thread I've seen that references some crazy events from earlier today. I was on here. How'd I miss the fun? I always miss the fun. Maybe I'm just picky about what threads I open. I dunno. But what I do know is that I need a dz.com tivo. Ya know, something to record all the drama when I'm not paying attention. Instead of a commercial skip feature, it'd skip over boring posts and get right to the good stuff.

Why am I never involved in any drama? C'mon, it's winter, I'm not jumping much, I'm bored!

Dave

Nahh... I just want the cliff notes... I seemed to miss the drama myself too, and I even was on DZ.com while at work.

[popsjumper 2]

Quote

...but I have to admit that most of the time I really like seeing someone make an ass out of themself....

You're gonna love this one...I made an ass out of myself 3 times...
1. Married a bitch
2. Married another bitch
3. Married one more bitch

ain't life a bitch?

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[Vectracide 0]

Quote

You're gonna love this one...I made an ass out of myself 3 times...
1. Married a bitch
2. Married another bitch
3. Married one more bitch

Quote

With 3 "bitches" under your belt, maybe you were an ass to begin with...

------------------------------

Controlled and Deliberate.....

• Quote

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[swedishcelt 0]

Quote

This is about the 20th thread I've seen that references some crazy events from earlier today. I was on here. How'd I miss the fun? I always miss the fun. Maybe I'm just picky about what threads I open. I dunno. But what I do know is that I need a dz.com tivo. Ya know, something to record all the drama when I'm not paying attention. Instead of a commercial skip feature, it'd skip over boring posts and get right to the good stuff.

Why am I never involved in any drama? C'mon, it's winter, I'm not jumping much, I'm bored!

Dave

Dave, it's ok. I miss everything too. Nice avatar!!

[popsjumper 2]

Quote

...With 3 "bitches" under your belt, maybe you were an ass to begin with...

1 yes, 1 no and 1 probably

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[waltappel 1]

Quote

Quote

...but I have to admit that most of the time I really like seeing someone make an ass out of themself....

You're gonna love this one...I made an ass out of myself 3 times...
1. Married a bitch
2. Married another bitch
3. Married one more bitch

ain't life a bitch?

At least you're consistent!

Walt

[Squeak 17]

[replyYou're gonna love this one...I made an ass out of myself 3 times...
1. Married a bitch
2. Married another bitch
3. Married one more bitch

ain't life a bitch?

[airtwardo 7]

1. Married a bitch
2. Married another bitch
3. Married one more bitch

...Any kids?

Yeah...two of them were!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~