BillyVance 34 #1 December 12, 2005 Been wiping your ass after a shit and emit an audible fart which you could control with a wad of toilet paper like you would a plug on a trombone? me "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simplyputsi 0 #3 December 12, 2005 hey wait a second, how did you know it was audible??Skymama's #2 stalker - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #4 December 12, 2005 Quotehey wait a second, how did you know it was audible?? I felt the vibrations through the wad of toilet paper, silly... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simplyputsi 0 #5 December 12, 2005 That is pretty damn funny. Skymama's #2 stalker - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GogglesnTeeth 6 #6 December 12, 2005 billyVance.... Step away from the keyboard and check your shorts while you are at it......Goggles and Teeth "You fall like a greased safe!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mayberry 0 #7 December 12, 2005 Waaaaaaaaay TMI Billy!! Did it sound like Charlie Brown's teacher?? "Waah wah wah waaah" * *edited to say*QuoteYeah, I'm fookin' deaf... so sue me... That's right, I forgot!! Don Here's to friends! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #8 December 12, 2005 ick... you likely got shrapnel on yer fingers... i hope you cleaned 'em before you started "talking" to your wife again... I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #9 December 13, 2005 Quoteick... you likely got shrapnel on yer fingers... i hope you cleaned 'em before you started "talking" to your wife again... I took a shower, naturally. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NoPush 0 #10 December 13, 2005 Damn Billy ……. We need to drink and share stories after a long day of jumping …….. I think you could definitely one up my usual TMI warning around the bonfire …… Love your work …….LMFAO …. Dunduna …… Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #11 December 13, 2005 No...but if by chance you ever shove a whistle up yer ass, and play play a few bars of "Dixie"... I can get ya a spot on Howard Stern! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #12 December 13, 2005 First things first.... I'm surprised to find out that you actually wipe. where do you find the time? I mean youre ALWAYS on line arent you?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NoPush 0 #13 December 13, 2005 Never ever check your email on Billy's computer ... he plays dixie with his &*()& ....... then uses his keys to posts Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #14 December 13, 2005 Im not sure what you mean by palying dixie but I'll bve sure I never use his computer...or let him use mine for that matter don't want him touching my keyboard after he plays dixieMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #15 December 13, 2005 QuoteNo...but if by chance you ever shove a whistle up yer ass, and play play a few bars of "Dixie"... I can get ya a spot on Howard Stern! I think I'll pass... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #16 December 13, 2005 I always wash my hands or take a shower (for those instances of diarrhea or impossible wipes) after using the bathroom. I don't like getting shit anywhere else but in the damn toilet... Even I always lay down some toilet paper on the seats of public toilets before I sit down. I don't know who sat there before me so I just prefer to take precautions... I'm a bit like Monk in that way. Where do I find all this time? Easy, I've taken a sabbatical from work for a while and have been doing some home renovations. I've averaged about 500 posts a month since August, but I've been VERY busy this month alone with almost 500 posts since Dec. 1st... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #17 December 13, 2005 QuoteI think I'll pass... *** You do...GAS ...musically! Showcase your god given talent young man! It would be a crime to share it only with US! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #18 December 13, 2005 QuoteQuoteI think I'll pass... *** You do...GAS ...musically! Showcase your god given talent young man! It would be a crime to share it only with US! Well, there is this one good story I can tell. I was in the 5th grade. I could hear well enough back then with hearing aids to carry on normal one one one conversations and follow the teacher's class. Well, I felt some pressure building at the bottom of my intestine... let it rip... sounded like a standard single-tone fart that lasted about 3/4 of a second (after class, one classmate told me he heard it loud and clear all the way across the room). No reaction from the class, but about 5 seconds later, I let another one rip, but this one actually changed pitch. It started out like the first one, then got progressively higher and shriller, and lasted probably damn near 3 seconds. It was almost as high as a whistle when it died out. Now THAT one did get the whole class to bust out laughing, even the teacher! I can't believe I still remember that some 26 years later! It was definitely one for the ages. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
