2005 Darwin Awards!!!

[co_sky_pirate 0]

Yep, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked... And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspicious of negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime actually committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends and family...unless one of these 10 individuals happens to be you.

There's something about the smell of jet fuel, nylon, and adrenaline that gives me a huge boner.

[Dougiefresh 0]

Only the first one qualifies for a darwin award. The rest are just stupid people.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams

[Rebecca 0]

Hence the Honorable Mentions.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[ACMESkydiver 0]

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10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

...thought my rigger was looking kinda green the last time I saw him...








J/K!!!! He's one o' the only friends I have left that still lives in the city of Seattle...we all say we do, but everyone else is a suburb or a suburb of a suburb... 'course, if he sees this comment, prolly won't be a friend anymore anyhoo...

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[Zenister 0]

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Hence the Honorable Mentions.

they arent even eligible according to the Rules

nor are they on the Real List

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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[bob.dino 1]

Honorable Mentions are where the idiot in question doesn't actually die.

[Zenister 0]

no but has the potential too..

most of those in the original post were never life threatening.. merely stupid...

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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[Muenkel 0]

That was damned funny...thanks.

But seriously speaking, my 2005 Darwin award goes to the entire criminal investigating team in Aruba.

Chris

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Chris