Walking Down Mem'ry Lane

[Michele 1]

Oh, man. With a single post, a friend of mine from way back in high school has taken me on a journey he had no idea would occur. (And yes, it's waaaaaay back, thank you very much...)

I have been spending time looking at my high school alumni pages, and thinking about all those people who, for whatever reason, made an impact on my life and my thinking. And be it good or bad, the walk down memory lane has been fascinating.

I remember those people I had fistfights with; those I dated; those I had crushes on. I remember Band and Drill/Flag team, and how heartbroken I was to not have made it into a leadership position on either one (and how bad I was at Short Flags; I kept losing them, and they created a flying hazard to anyone near...). I remember Drama, and being cast in the smaller, less important roles because I couldn't sing. And I remember leading the classes in english comp, and art.

I remember riding my bike to school through the rain...learning about LSD from the Stoners, learning about chess from the Brains (and I still can't play it). I remember learning about politics from the Soshes - those perfect teenagers who somehow knew how to play the game and were gorgeous (according to that time's fashions) to boot.

I remember Teacher's Aiding in the Retarded Classes (yes, that's what they were called back in the stone age), and knowing how fortunate I was that my genes came together the right way. I remember charity drives, and knowing how fortunate I was that we weren't the recipients of the charity. I remember school dances, alternately broken hearted and exulted that I was asked to go or not go (I wasn't asked to my senior prom, so I went to San Francisco for the weekend with my high school best friend...that was fun, but it wasn't the prom).

And now, looking at the pictures of those I hung around with but with whom I've had little or no contact with over the years, I realize how silly we were, how much emphasis we placed on looking right, dating the right person, and hanging with the right people at lunch time. Somehow, it was all about who you had lunch with...and still is, if workplace behavior is any indication. It was all about the name on your fanny, whose jeans you wore (and could afford), what clubs you belonged to (chess v. cheerleading...). It wasn't too much about education in the literal sense, but the social education one acquires without realizing it.

And in reflecting, for the first time, about those high school days, I realize how much of my self image had been formed then; how, when I wasn't included in the Soshes' circle, or not elected to leadership, or not going to the prom made me feel as if I were less than someone else, somehow not as good as they, especially if I wore corduroy pants on those days when everyone else seemed to get the "wear jeans" memo.

And as I look at the photos of how they look currently, I wonder: what made them so special, and did they have a good life? One's turned out to be a porn star, and looks exceedingly unhappy in her altered skin. One guy I had the worst crush on turned out to be gay (proves my gadar was broken even back then...). Most just look like people I'd see on the street, or at the workplace, or driving their cars. And I feel guilty when someone shows their age, or looks like they've been 'round the block a time or two.

And there is a bit of sadness I feel, that the beauty of their youth did not hold through their years. That the promise of their connections did not come through, and that the hopes of their high school did not occur. And I feel less lonely, too, somehow. Which goes against my better sense, but it's the truth...I feel less like I've lost myself somewhere along the road, while they had it all.

Walking down Mem'ry Lane...an interesting and enlightening traipse through the thickets of youth...and one, when done with honesty and the brilliant clarity of hindsight, shows me some things about myself that it's time I toss...because they were begotten during the tumult of the teenage years, and the turmoil of highschool.

And I noticed, there's not one skydiver in the bunch!

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[McDuck 0]

Sychronicity in life is fascinating to me...I was doing a similar past-reflection walk earlier this week. I don't think I could be as eloquent as you in the retelling, however.

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[markd_nscr986 0]

Marc SCR 6046 SCS 3004

[skymama 37]

That's very nicely written, but I just can't get over the part that our kind-hearted Michele beat someone up!

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[Michele 1]

Quote

I just can't get over the part that our kind-hearted Michele beat someone up!

Well...see...yes, once I did whale on someone pretty badly. After years of being bullied by her, one day I lost it and took her to town. There was some blood, none of it mine. Problem was, when a teacher got involved, I managed to slug him in the stomach too. That's why I got suspended, not because I took out the bully. For mixing up his abdomen with hers. She was put into the JD classes after that, from what I remember...I just got two days off. And a discussion with my father about hitting. The talking to was worse than anything any teacher or administrator did to me.

LOL! I still feel bad about it. Sorta.

But mostly, I just got beat up.

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[skymama 37]

OMG...you were suspended too!

*note to self*...do NOT mess with Michele.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[skydaug 0]

No Comment!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im better than most , not as good as others.

[Michele 1]

Yes, Daug, you'd best have no comment...it's YOUR FAULT! ROFLMAO.

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~