NlghtJumper 0 #1 January 6, 2006 As those who follow Walt's stories know, being bored is NOT a good thing. It causes people to do some pretty stupid stuff. Now, if only to make it worse, lets go a step farther and add alcohol to the mix One night when I lived back in Florida, my friend and I decided we needed some alcohol. Mainly to help cut the the boredom and monotony. So I called my friend in Orlando [we weren't 21 yet] and tell her that I'll pay her if she will get us a case of beer. Of course she said yes, and my friend and I started out on the 30 minute, one way trip to her house to go pick it up. We get there, go inside and get the case, then on the way out, I notice something else that may help break the boredom. A box of Cherry Bombs, and a handful of Roman Candles. It was the middle of October, so she didn't care if we took them. On the way home, I lit off a couple cherry bombs, but stopped as soon as we left the neighborhood. We didn't feel like risking too much out on State Road 50 with the cops out and liquor in the car. We finally get back to my friends place and we start knocking back the beers and having fun with the cherry bombs. We threw them on roof tops, in mailboxes, in swimming pools, and where ever else we could find. Finally we ran out of places to light them so we settled for just throwing them in the middle of the road in front of my friends place. We made our way through 3/4 of the case of beer before my friends dad came out to yell at us for making too much noise. My friends little brother was trying to sleep inside and the noise kept waking him up. We agreed not to light them anymore, and went back to just sitting around drinking. Not long after, the boredom set in real quick. For some reason I remembered that we still had roman candles. I reminded my friend and he told me no, they are too loud. I didn't think so, so I referred to the tube to prove him wrong. "Nope, it doesn't say screamer or anything... we're good!" Now, anyone who has ever had the pleasure of playing with roman candles knows, this is most certainly not the case. Screamer or not, they still have a nice loud pop when each ball explodes. Not knowing this, I light the first tube and held it out waiting for our own silent light show to begin. Imagine my surprise when it blows with a crack that can be heard farther away than the cherry bombs. All I managed to do, in my state of shock, was yell to my friend "Oh Shit! What do I do?" hoping he had the answer. The dumb look he gave me told me he was just as shocked, and also didn't know what to do. I stood there as 2 more balls fire off before he finally yells to me to stick it in the ground and get away from it. Now, most people probably understand this statement in the way it was meant to be understood. The bottom of the roman candle is kind of funneled, to help stick it into the ground and enjoy from a distance. Needless to say... I didn't take it that way. I quickly turn the tube so its facing down, and try to shove it into the soft sand in front of me before the next ball gets the chance to shoot off. No such luck. Just as it got inverted, the next ball shot off, and took 3 others with it too. When they hit the dirt, the ball exploded and the 3 that followed it, promptly did the same. The front yard echoed as the ground beneath me erupted into bright [and very hot] sparks that flew in every which direction, engulfing me in their beautiful light show. I hit the ground and rolled under a near by truck. When I was sure I wasn't actually on fire, I looked up and saw my friend run as fast as he could across the yard, do his best tuck and roll while grabbing the roman candle [which really just looked like he tripped and made the best of it] and get it as quickly as possible to the nearest trash can. Which he then promptly dove behind the very truck I was still laying under. That confused me at first so I looked out front just in time to see a police cruiser coming down the road. Lights off, probably just checking to see what was going on. Of course, my friend, being drunk at the time, panicked and started quietly ranting about how we were going to get caught for underage drinking, and it is all my fault and all. I quiet him down until the car had checked the whole street and was satisfied. We climb out from under the truck to see my friends dad at the door with only one thing to say to us before going back inside... "What the F**K is WRONG with you two???!!!???!!!" All in all, I'd say it was a good night... and we definatly beat the bordem! A man will do anything for the right woman, and when that woman destroys him, that man will become a hunk of meat with the common sense of a rodeo clown! ~ Christopher Titus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #2 January 6, 2006 This made me smile. Thanks for sharing! Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #3 January 6, 2006 GAWD, that was funny!!! It also gave me a GREAT story idea about how I managed to get some beer "after hours" one time. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
