jtval 0 #1 January 13, 2006 THE PERFECT BREAKFAST...AS A MAN SEES IT...... YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE AND YOUR SON IS ON THE COVER OF WHEATIES......YOUR MISTRESS IS ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY......... AND YOUR WIFE IS ON THE BACK OF THE MILK CARTON. (had to post this one, thought it was funny) anyone got a few one-liners?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #2 January 13, 2006 It's funny but did you have to SHOUT IT??? My ears hurt right now. Hell, I think BillyVance's ears hurt right now. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #3 January 13, 2006 lol HEll I didnt even type it I just cut and pasted that should've been obvious by the lack of typos (here's some punctuation that I missed) .,.;.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karenmeal 0 #4 January 13, 2006 THE PERFECT BREAKFAST... AS A WOMAN SEES IT.. YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE ENJOYING A NICE PLATE OF PANCAKES AND SAUSAGE WHILE YOUR CHAUVINIST PIG OF AN EX-HUSBAND GETS NEUTERED FOR BEING SUCH AN INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE WHO THINK IT'S COOL TO CHEAT ON HIS WIFE WITH SOME PLAYBOY-SILICONE-BOTOX-ENHANCED-HO. BUT YOU GOT THE CAR AND THE RIGS, SO IT'S COOL. AND SOME HASHBROWNS. DAMNIT. "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DoTheDrew 0 #5 January 13, 2006 And here this whole time I thought it was cold pizza... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #6 January 13, 2006 Karen, have I told you lately that I love you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RhondaLea 4 #7 January 13, 2006 Sex on the table. Edited to add: I liked Karen's a lot better than yours.If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites dustin19d 0 #8 January 13, 2006 The perfect breakfast: A 24oz coffee as you drive into work half asleep @ 5:20am Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites karenmeal 0 #9 January 13, 2006 QuoteKaren, have I told you lately that I love you? Awww... Pshaw! -Karen "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites yamtx73 0 #10 January 13, 2006 QuoteSex on the table. Edited to add: I liked Karen's a lot better than yours. I'm going to Rhonda's for breakfast!!The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pullhigh 0 #11 January 13, 2006 Care to treat me to breakfast? Ganja "I'm not a pervert, I'm just drawn this way" Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zenister 0 #12 January 13, 2006 bagel and a blowjob..____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #13 January 13, 2006 QuoteTHE PERFECT BREAKFAST... AS A WOMAN SEES IT.. YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE ENJOYING A NICE PLATE OF PANCAKES AND SAUSAGE WHILE YOUR CHAUVINIST PIG OF AN EX-HUSBAND GETS NEUTERED FOR BEING SUCH AN INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE WHO THINK IT'S COOL TO CHEAT ON HIS WIFE WITH SOME PLAYBOY-SILICONE-BOTOX-ENHANCED-HO. BUT YOU GOT THE CAR AND THE RIGS, SO IT'S COOL. AND SOME HASHBROWNS. DAMNIT. PSYCHO MUCH?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites karenmeal 0 #14 January 13, 2006 Not at all.. which is why I responded in jest instead of giving you a lecture about propogating an antiquated double standard. You wouldn't post a racist joke on here... but sexist jokes are ok... ? Anyways.. I just didn't think it was funny. You got your laughs from the men, I got mine from the women. We're even. And one more thing, please don't call women psycho unless they actually have done something truly psycho to you. It is such a mean thing to say. -Karen "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #15 January 13, 2006 and a good day to you!My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #16 January 13, 2006 anyone got any jokes?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RkyMtnHigh 0 #17 January 13, 2006 Quoteanyone got any jokes? yeah...so this one time...at bandcamp JT, you know I luv ya man _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #18 January 13, 2006 LOL, There's always some one who gets pissed off at a joke. I laugh at the ignorance that I posted in my first post but it seems that I pissed karen off a bit. Sorry karen, but life goes on. any one got any jokes?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Broke 0 #19 January 13, 2006 so whould I post a really bad one?Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites karenmeal 0 #20 January 13, 2006 The joke certainly did not piss me off. You called me psycho when you didn't get my joke. That irritated me. There were these female siamese twins, one was a nymphomaniac, the other loved to play the saxaphone. Both of them loved Julio Iglasiases. One day he did a show in their town, they went to the show, snuck in back stage, met Julio, had a few drinks and soon they were back in his hotel room. The nympho had wild sex with Julio while the sister played her saxaphone. A few years later, one of the sisters read in the paper that Julio was coming back to town, she said to her sister, "Lets go to the show, maybe we can party with Julio again." Her sister said, "Oh he'll never remember us." "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RhondaLea 4 #21 January 13, 2006 QuoteLOL, There's always some one who gets pissed off at a joke. I think the problem was less the joke than your response to her comparable joke. That is to say, why is it that you are funny but she is psycho? rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freefallfreak 0 #22 January 13, 2006 Quotebagel and a blowjob.. I'll agree. Sounds good to me. TripleF "Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #23 January 13, 2006 QuoteQuoteLOL, There's always some one who gets pissed off at a joke. I think the problem was less the joke than your response to her comparable joke. That is to say, why is it that you are funny but she is psycho? rl b/c this QuoteTHE PERFECT BREAKFAST... AS A WOMAN SEES IT.. YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE ENJOYING A NICE PLATE OF PANCAKES AND SAUSAGE WHILE YOUR CHAUVINIST PIG OF AN EX-HUSBAND GETS NEUTERED FOR BEING SUCH AN INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE WHO THINK IT'S COOL TO CHEAT ON HIS WIFE WITH SOME PLAYBOY-SILICONE-BOTOX-ENHANCED-HO. BUT YOU GOT THE CAR AND THE RIGS, SO IT'S COOL. AND SOME HASHBROWNS. DAMNIT. would be more comparable to my joke if my joke said THE PERFECT BREAKFAST...AS A MAN SEES IT...... YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE AND YOUR SON IS ON THE COVER OF WHEATIES......YOUR MISTRESS IS ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY......... AND YOUR CUNT OF A BITCH WIFE WIFE IS ON THE BACK OF THE MILK CARTON... the way I read her joke was that she was trying to insinuate that I was the chauvinist b/c I posted the joke in the first place. SO how about those jokes folks? can we stop this discussion and have a fucking laugh?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #24 January 13, 2006 The Hills grocery "eye opener" 2 eggs, meat, coffee, hash browns, toast for $3. I get a side of grits too. With tip included, I'm outa there for $5 and well fed. Plus, the owner is totally cool. I have never seen anyone enjoy their job like him. The man has style too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites karenmeal 0 #25 January 13, 2006 Ok, my point was. The guy (not you) who thought that was the perfect breakfast, literally thought that, would be a total chauvinist pig. A man who wanted his wife abducted and to date a porn star. I'm pretty sure that you don't literally think that. Just as I don't literally think that I would like to have a breakfast with some guy getting neutered. I also made a funny. I even did it with the caps lock on to show you that I was doing the other side of your joke. How much more obvious would you like it? "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. 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RhondaLea 4 #7 January 13, 2006 Sex on the table. Edited to add: I liked Karen's a lot better than yours.If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dustin19d 0 #8 January 13, 2006 The perfect breakfast: A 24oz coffee as you drive into work half asleep @ 5:20am Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karenmeal 0 #9 January 13, 2006 QuoteKaren, have I told you lately that I love you? Awww... Pshaw! -Karen "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yamtx73 0 #10 January 13, 2006 QuoteSex on the table. Edited to add: I liked Karen's a lot better than yours. I'm going to Rhonda's for breakfast!!The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pullhigh 0 #11 January 13, 2006 Care to treat me to breakfast? Ganja "I'm not a pervert, I'm just drawn this way" Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #12 January 13, 2006 bagel and a blowjob..____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #13 January 13, 2006 QuoteTHE PERFECT BREAKFAST... AS A WOMAN SEES IT.. YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE ENJOYING A NICE PLATE OF PANCAKES AND SAUSAGE WHILE YOUR CHAUVINIST PIG OF AN EX-HUSBAND GETS NEUTERED FOR BEING SUCH AN INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE WHO THINK IT'S COOL TO CHEAT ON HIS WIFE WITH SOME PLAYBOY-SILICONE-BOTOX-ENHANCED-HO. BUT YOU GOT THE CAR AND THE RIGS, SO IT'S COOL. AND SOME HASHBROWNS. DAMNIT. PSYCHO MUCH?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karenmeal 0 #14 January 13, 2006 Not at all.. which is why I responded in jest instead of giving you a lecture about propogating an antiquated double standard. You wouldn't post a racist joke on here... but sexist jokes are ok... ? Anyways.. I just didn't think it was funny. You got your laughs from the men, I got mine from the women. We're even. And one more thing, please don't call women psycho unless they actually have done something truly psycho to you. It is such a mean thing to say. -Karen "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #15 January 13, 2006 and a good day to you!My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #16 January 13, 2006 anyone got any jokes?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #17 January 13, 2006 Quoteanyone got any jokes? yeah...so this one time...at bandcamp JT, you know I luv ya man _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #18 January 13, 2006 LOL, There's always some one who gets pissed off at a joke. I laugh at the ignorance that I posted in my first post but it seems that I pissed karen off a bit. Sorry karen, but life goes on. any one got any jokes?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #19 January 13, 2006 so whould I post a really bad one?Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karenmeal 0 #20 January 13, 2006 The joke certainly did not piss me off. You called me psycho when you didn't get my joke. That irritated me. There were these female siamese twins, one was a nymphomaniac, the other loved to play the saxaphone. Both of them loved Julio Iglasiases. One day he did a show in their town, they went to the show, snuck in back stage, met Julio, had a few drinks and soon they were back in his hotel room. The nympho had wild sex with Julio while the sister played her saxaphone. A few years later, one of the sisters read in the paper that Julio was coming back to town, she said to her sister, "Lets go to the show, maybe we can party with Julio again." Her sister said, "Oh he'll never remember us." "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #21 January 13, 2006 QuoteLOL, There's always some one who gets pissed off at a joke. I think the problem was less the joke than your response to her comparable joke. That is to say, why is it that you are funny but she is psycho? rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freefallfreak 0 #22 January 13, 2006 Quotebagel and a blowjob.. I'll agree. Sounds good to me. TripleF "Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #23 January 13, 2006 QuoteQuoteLOL, There's always some one who gets pissed off at a joke. I think the problem was less the joke than your response to her comparable joke. That is to say, why is it that you are funny but she is psycho? rl b/c this QuoteTHE PERFECT BREAKFAST... AS A WOMAN SEES IT.. YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE ENJOYING A NICE PLATE OF PANCAKES AND SAUSAGE WHILE YOUR CHAUVINIST PIG OF AN EX-HUSBAND GETS NEUTERED FOR BEING SUCH AN INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE WHO THINK IT'S COOL TO CHEAT ON HIS WIFE WITH SOME PLAYBOY-SILICONE-BOTOX-ENHANCED-HO. BUT YOU GOT THE CAR AND THE RIGS, SO IT'S COOL. AND SOME HASHBROWNS. DAMNIT. would be more comparable to my joke if my joke said THE PERFECT BREAKFAST...AS A MAN SEES IT...... YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE AND YOUR SON IS ON THE COVER OF WHEATIES......YOUR MISTRESS IS ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY......... AND YOUR CUNT OF A BITCH WIFE WIFE IS ON THE BACK OF THE MILK CARTON... the way I read her joke was that she was trying to insinuate that I was the chauvinist b/c I posted the joke in the first place. SO how about those jokes folks? can we stop this discussion and have a fucking laugh?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #24 January 13, 2006 The Hills grocery "eye opener" 2 eggs, meat, coffee, hash browns, toast for $3. I get a side of grits too. With tip included, I'm outa there for $5 and well fed. Plus, the owner is totally cool. I have never seen anyone enjoy their job like him. The man has style too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites karenmeal 0 #25 January 13, 2006 Ok, my point was. The guy (not you) who thought that was the perfect breakfast, literally thought that, would be a total chauvinist pig. A man who wanted his wife abducted and to date a porn star. I'm pretty sure that you don't literally think that. Just as I don't literally think that I would like to have a breakfast with some guy getting neutered. I also made a funny. I even did it with the caps lock on to show you that I was doing the other side of your joke. How much more obvious would you like it? "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
karenmeal 0 #25 January 13, 2006 Ok, my point was. The guy (not you) who thought that was the perfect breakfast, literally thought that, would be a total chauvinist pig. A man who wanted his wife abducted and to date a porn star. I'm pretty sure that you don't literally think that. Just as I don't literally think that I would like to have a breakfast with some guy getting neutered. I also made a funny. I even did it with the caps lock on to show you that I was doing the other side of your joke. How much more obvious would you like it? "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
