flyinghonu 0 #1 January 12, 2006 Inspired by VSG's thread, enter your name here: http://thesurrealist.co.uk/disease Mine: Nita's Disease. Cause: sporting injury Symptoms: chi imbalance, gurgling, mild diarrhoea , arm pain Cure: bleach "Excuse me while I kiss the sky..." - Jimi Hendrix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #2 January 12, 2006 Brokeosis. Cause: lack of sleep Symptoms: extremely inability to turn neck, extreme depression, neck shortening, occasional extra legs Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up Even the computer knows I need a good nights sleepDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #3 January 12, 2006 Krisanneitis. Cause: natural sign of ageing Symptoms: vague indigestion, colour blindness, impaired vision, grunting Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mcneill79 0 #4 January 12, 2006 Congratulations! You are suffering from Beth's Disorder. Cause: hot weather Symptoms: collapsed lungs, mildly glow-in-the-dark ears, -1 Strength, -2 Charisma, glowing Cure: take a dozen shots of morphine before going to bed That cure sounds great Bad luck! You are suffering from The Rack(tm)v.2.0's Disorder. Cause: zombie attack Symptoms: sudden Hitler moustache, sparks, extremely enlarged liver, extreme second-degree burns Cure: fresh air I think it should be boobie attack instead Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yamtx73 0 #5 January 12, 2006 Bruce's Disorder. Cause: dancing Symptoms: blocked nose, squawking, extreme paralysis Cure: take a day off workThe only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kid_Icarus 0 #6 January 12, 2006 This is SOOOOO amazing.. it's dead on.... You'd better sit down. You are suffering from Johnosis. Cause: drug abuse Symptoms: dilation of pupils, listlessness, frequent hunger Cure: expensive biofeedback devices ________________________________________ "What What..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyinghonu 0 #7 January 12, 2006 QuoteBruce's Disorder. Cause: dancing Symptoms: blocked nose, squawking, extreme paralysis Cure: take a day off work Other than the paralysis, that doesn't sound half bad since the cure is a MUST "Excuse me while I kiss the sky..." - Jimi Hendrix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #8 January 12, 2006 This is for Sudsyfist Sudsyfist's Syndrome. Cause: mobile phone radiation Symptoms: enlarged liver and spleen, invisibility, drooling Cure: electroshock therapyDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yamtx73 0 #9 January 12, 2006 QuoteQuoteBruce's Disorder. Cause: dancing Symptoms: blocked nose, squawking, extreme paralysis Cure: take a day off work Other than the paralysis, that doesn't sound half bad since the cure is a MUST If the day is spent in bed the paralysis might go away which would then require yet another day off to celebrate by dancing... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #10 January 12, 2006 Good lord! You are suffering from Rhonda Lea Kirk's Disease. Cause: mosquito bite Symptoms: foot swelling, extreme vertigo, black eyes Cure: trepanning It's just as I feared. You are suffering from Rhonda Lea's Disease. Cause: natural sign of ageing Symptoms: sudden tooth loss, excess saliva, space alien bursting from stomach Cure: none Bad luck! You are suffering from Rhonda's Syndrome. Cause: hot weather Symptoms: bruising, urine retention, metallic spots Cure: none I think I'm in trouble. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #11 January 12, 2006 i like this: Unformed's Disease. Cause: zombie attack Symptoms: extreme fear of the number thirteen, extreme colour blindness, ringing in the ears, dilation of pupils Cure: drink three glasses of water a day until it goes awayThis ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyinghonu 0 #12 January 12, 2006 Good lord! You are suffering from Flyinghonuosis. Cause: psychological Symptoms: groin swelling , chills, lust , urinary pain Cure: sleep "Excuse me while I kiss the sky..." - Jimi Hendrix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NlghtJumper 0 #13 January 12, 2006 It's just as I feared. You are suffering from Vickitis. Cause: self-abuse Symptoms: excessive hyperactivity, walking like a zombie, frequent appetite changes, occasional pustules Cure: drink lots of water A man will do anything for the right woman, and when that woman destroys him, that man will become a hunk of meat with the common sense of a rodeo clown! ~ Christopher Titus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #14 January 12, 2006 I'm afraid it's bad news. You are suffering from JelloJosis. Cause: secret military experiments Symptoms: suicidal thoughts, metallic spots, floating hair, facial paralysis Cure: infect someone else Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GiaKrembs 0 #15 January 12, 2006 Giaitis. Cause: cursed Japanese video Symptoms: sneezing, insomnia, excessive rapid heart beat Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait HA Raddest ho this side of Jersey #1 - rest in peace brother Beth lost her cherry and I missed it .... you want access to it, but you don't want to break it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #16 January 12, 2006 It sounds bad but with the cure i think I will live. It's just as I feared. You are suffering from Chris Spence's Lurgy. Cause: spaceborne bacteria Symptoms: vague tiredness, red saliva, excessive appetite changes, occasional chills Cure: fresh air Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #17 January 12, 2006 Bad luck! You are suffering from Rosa's Disorder. Cause: lack of sleep Symptoms: hearing voices, white irises, beeping Cure: drink more absinthe ***Nicky, you need to help me!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #18 January 12, 2006 Bobbi's Disease Cause: excessive Internet usuage Symptons: enlarged liver, blood powdering, turning into a monster. Cure: sleep How did they know!?!?! BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ncrowe 0 #19 January 13, 2006 Congratulations! You are suffering from Nathan croweosis. Cause: genetically-modified air Symptoms: fear, slightly impaired vision, bulging eyes Cure: psychiatry "Don't Mess Around With the Guy in Shades- Oh No!!! " Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #20 January 13, 2006 I'm afraid it's bad news. You are suffering from Girlfalldown's Disorder. Cause: cursed amulet Symptoms: mild back pain, talking like a pirate, cranial bloating, shrunken head Cure: take four sprigs of belladonna and come back in the morning That's really weird because I really have all that and I sometimes take belladonna. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noblesmelissa 0 #21 January 13, 2006 Melissa's disease: Cause: genetic mutation Symptoms: excessive tallness, extremely squeaky voice, snoring Cure: infect someone else Well, I am 5'11"... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites VanillaSkyGirl 6 #22 January 13, 2006 QuoteThat's really weird because I really have all that and I sometimes take belladonna. That's so wild, and I know what you mean, Shannon. Mine is creepily accurate, since I am an insomniac! Now, where's that Absinthe? It actually DOES make me sleep better! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skydiver51 0 #23 January 13, 2006 Bad luck! You are suffering from Limp dick's Lurgy. Cause: exposure to radiation Symptoms: sneezing, frequent listlessness, sleepwalking, seeing dead people Cure: take four Viagra tablets every day for the rest of your life Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites livendive 8 #24 January 13, 2006 QuoteGiaitis. Cause: cursed Japanese video Symptoms: sneezing, insomnia, excessive rapid heart beat Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait Wha...choo?! Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Dumpster 0 #25 January 13, 2006 It's just as I feared. You are suffering from Dumpster's Disorder. Cause: a significant alignment of the stars Symptoms: tooth loss, extreme leg numbness, occasional shrunken head, snoring Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up Shit - I've been waking up like that the past five years! Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #22 January 13, 2006 QuoteThat's really weird because I really have all that and I sometimes take belladonna. That's so wild, and I know what you mean, Shannon. Mine is creepily accurate, since I am an insomniac! Now, where's that Absinthe? It actually DOES make me sleep better! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver51 0 #23 January 13, 2006 Bad luck! You are suffering from Limp dick's Lurgy. Cause: exposure to radiation Symptoms: sneezing, frequent listlessness, sleepwalking, seeing dead people Cure: take four Viagra tablets every day for the rest of your life Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #24 January 13, 2006 QuoteGiaitis. Cause: cursed Japanese video Symptoms: sneezing, insomnia, excessive rapid heart beat Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait Wha...choo?! Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dumpster 0 #25 January 13, 2006 It's just as I feared. You are suffering from Dumpster's Disorder. Cause: a significant alignment of the stars Symptoms: tooth loss, extreme leg numbness, occasional shrunken head, snoring Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up Shit - I've been waking up like that the past five years! Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
