How to shower

[Broke 0]

How To Shower Like a Woman:

-Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
-Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
-If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
-Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
-Get in the shower.
-Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
-Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
-Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
-Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
-Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
-Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
-Rinse conditioner off hair.
-Shave armpits and legs.
-Turn off shower.
-Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
-Spray mold spots with Tilex.
-Get out of shower.
-Dry with towel the size of a small country.
-Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
-Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
-If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man:
-Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
-Walk naked to the bathroom.
-If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
-Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
-Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
-Get in the shower.
-Wash your face.
-Wash your armpits.
-Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
-Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
-Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
-Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
-Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
-Pee.
-Rinse off and get out of shower.
-Partially dry off.
-Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
-Admire wiener size in mirror again.
-Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
-Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
-If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and
make the woo-woo' sound again.
-Throw wet towel on bed.

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