Cohabitation

[RhondaLea 4]

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Statistically people who live together before marriage have a better chance of divorce than people who move in together after marriage...

I'm pretty sure the reason for this is that much the same way as some married couples who are experience problems will do the inexplicable and have a baby to "save the marriage," people who are living together will get married to "save the relationship."

If people actually used living together as a trial, with the idea that failure of that trial should end in separation, the numbers would probably turn out different. But everything I've read and everything I've seen indicates that when the cohabitation starts to go bad, a lot of people think they're going to repair the relationship with a marriage license.



rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[PLFXpert 0]

You have to look at the sample of the people used for the statistics. Certain groups might be more likely to live together before, but regardless, might also fall into the same group that is most likely to divorce.

I've lived with my boy-toy for almost 5 years now. 2006 will be our 6-year anniversary. He is the BEST roomate I could ask for and marriage or not, we LOVE living together.

I'm particular about certain things--for me, I'm biased b/c I would have to know if I'm able to live with someone before committing to marriage.

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[nanook 1]

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My dream home is a duplex.
Her side and my side.

Funny you should say that. I've been watching this thread because of my up and coming dilemna. It's getting close to popping the question to the lady, but our situation is unique in that we both are homeowners. I'm thinking a trial cohabitation, but which house? Right now, we have the "House of the week" as far as where we stay overnight. There seems a lot of options. What first appeared as a blessing in a relationship is now starting to become interesting as far as a plan.

_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[skycat 0]

With all these statistics I wonder what the age groups were for these people. I was married at 21 and divorced 3 years later, we moved in together 3 months before the wedding because it made no sense for me to sign a new lease for 3 months. I don't blame those 3 months on our marriages failure, I blame my age and immaturity, my growing up and realizing we didn't want the same things in life.

Now at 31 I've been with Derek 4.5 years and living together 3.5 years. We don't care if we get married or not, we toss the idea around every once in awhile but it never goes beyond "Well if you want to do it I don't want a diamond I want a pink sapphire". Getting married isn't going to change anything, it's not like it's going to magically teach him to pick up his trash off the coffee table.

Saying living together is what caused the marriage to fail is a cop-out. Look at the age of the couple, look at their communication skills, look at their problem solving skills, look at the whole picture.

Fly it like you stole it!