Thursday funnies

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What’s got three legs and lives on a farm?

Paul McCartney and his wife.
_______________________________________________

The bride said she wanted three children, while the young
husband said two would be enough for him.

They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the
husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly,
"After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."

Without a moments hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I
hope you'll love the third one just as if it's your own."

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A young executive was working late, trying to impress his
boss. As he was leaving the office, at 7p.m., he found the
CEO standing in front of the document shredder with a piece
of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and
important document, and my secretary left hours ago. Can
you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. Excited with the
opportunity to kiss up to the man, he turned the machine on,
inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO, "I don't know what I
would have done without you."

As his paper disappeared inside the machine the relieved
CEO says, "Now, I'll need two copies."

if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?

[hobbes4star 0]

last one...

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the
director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to
be institutionalized?"

"Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we
offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and
ask him to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor, with a chuckle. "A
normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than
the spoon or the teacup. Right?"

"Noooooooo!" answered the director. "A normal person would
pull the plug."

if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?