Wedding Ceremony

[meridianjumper 0]

My fiance and I have been planning our wedding. It is crazy and very stressful. We both do not want stress or anything like that. We have been tossing the idea around of possibly doing a destination wedding in Hawaii. We have both really wanted to go there for our honeymoon, why not do the ceremony there too. Problem is that if our parents or friends wanted to go, it would cost them money to come out to watch the ceremony. I am 25 and she is 23. We both love the idea. We would make them stay in a seperate hotel than ours so we are not really bothered. When we come back a week later, have a reception somewhere in order to see friends and such. Have pictures and video of our wedding in paradise playing on a TV or something. What does everyone else think about this? Think we are being selfish? Is the ceremony not just for us, but meant for everyone else too? We would like some insight. Thanks.

Blue Skies,
Jeremy

[ifall 0]

The ceremony itself is really just meant to be about the two of you. The guests only really go for the reception anyway. I'd say go to Hawaii and party it up with your friends with a reception when you get back.

Have fun!!!

[GiaKrembs 0]

Hey Jeremy,

All I can say is do what you guys want.... it's not about them, it's about you. The wedding is for you two. Yes it's nice to celebrate it with friends and family, but ultimately the ceremony is for the two of you.

g

Raddest ho this side of Jersey #1 - rest in peace brother
Beth lost her cherry and I missed it
.... you want access to it, but you don't want to break it.

[RhondaLea 4]

Are the two of you paying for the wedding?

[meridianjumper 0]

Yes. We are paying for everything. Probably even the reception as well.

Blue Skies,
Jeremy

[RhondaLea 4]

Then you should do exactly as you please.

[Hambone 0]

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My fiance and I have been planning our wedding. It is crazy and very stressful. We both do not want stress or anything like that. We have been tossing the idea around of possibly doing a destination wedding in Hawaii. We have both really wanted to go there for our honeymoon, why not do the ceremony there too. Problem is that if our parents or friends wanted to go, it would cost them money to come out to watch the ceremony. I am 25 and she is 23. We both love the idea. We would make them stay in a seperate hotel than ours so we are not really bothered. When we come back a week later, have a reception somewhere in order to see friends and such. Have pictures and video of our wedding in paradise playing on a TV or something. What does everyone else think about this? Think we are being selfish? Is the ceremony not just for us, but meant for everyone else too? We would like some insight. Thanks.

My sister and brother in law did a destination wedding, and didn't invite the family but instead held a party when they got home to celebrate the whole thing. It was very cool and they got lots of cool pictures.
In short....DO IT

Yeah...You need to grow up. -Skymama

[TheBachelor 5]

I got married in Hawaii last August, and it turned out great. There was little planning involved since the hotel took care of almost everything. We did all of the planning via email and a couple of phone calls.

We had about 25 people at the wedding, which was plenty. If there were people that I really wanted to be there, but couldn't afford it, I paid for them. For the rest, we have pictures and videos.

It's your day. Do what you want. PM me if you have any specific questions about what we did, costs, etc.

There are battered women? I've been eating 'em plain all of these years...

[brierebecca 0]

Wow, I feel your pain. My fiance and I have fought with my parents about our wedding, because we seem to have differing ideas about who the wedding is for. However, both my parents and my fiance and I have learned a lot about weddings in the process.

Like it or not, weddings are about your family and friends too. It's a chance to affirm your relationship in front of everyone you know. By its very nature, it's a social cermony.

However, a wedding is also about the two of you. It's a personal ceremony as well as a social one. It's supposed to reflect who you are and how you view your relationship.

I actually went to a reception for a couple who were married in Hawaii, then came back to the states to celebrate with their friends and family who couldn't make it. It was really nice. They showed a tape of the ceremony, and everyone had a great time.

In a sense, my fiance and I are kind of doing the same thing. We're having a ceremony in the plane we met on, and jumping out. Our immediate family and close friends will be there, and we're just barbequeing at the dropzone and throwing a little party. It's how we would do it if we had the choice.

The next weekend, my mother and grandmother are getting the white dress flower string quartet wedding. I'm not all that interested in this one, and I've actively stayed away from any of the decisions - it's essentially my mom's wedding. But it's important to my mom to have a ceremony like this one, so I'm more than willing to accommodate her. She is, after all, my mom.

You guys are in a different situation than we are, because we're not paying for the wedding. But I thought I'd mention that weddings are about compromise with those particularly invested in the two of you. It may be important to those people to at least feel like they are a part of the decision-making process. I would definitely at least run your ideas by your parents and such before you make your decisions. It's the good kid thing to do.

Good luck
Brie

"Ive seen you hump air, hump the floor of the plane, and hump legs. You now have a new nickname: "Black Humper of Death"--yardhippie

[BillyVance 35]

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Then you should do exactly as you please.

I agree. My wife and I got married under a huge water oak tree at our home, with about 100 guests in attendance, mostly from around the southeast. My wife is from Conn, and only a few came down from up there. We had a 2nd reception in her hometown for approx another 100 people.

And yes, we did go to Hawaii for the honeymoon. Maui is the absolute best.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[meridianjumper 0]

My mom just called. Asked me if we had found a place yet. I told her maybe. She wanted to know what that meant. I told her about Hawaii. She freaked out! Got all depressed sounding and said that she had to go and would call me back later tonight and we would "talk" about it. Not sure what she means. I think she means she will call me back and tell me not to do it. Make me feel bad for not allowing grandparents and such to be there. That is what I am guessing. It is going to be tougher on my side of the family to get away with this.

Blue Skies,
Jeremy

[Superman32 0]

Dude,
The Caribbean would be cheaper.
Just something else to think about, even if your guests stay in a different hotel, they will be demanding of your time. They will want to have breakfast, dinner, outtings and the like.

I had a coworker, that did just that. She got married in the Bahamas and just couldn't get away from family during her Honeymoon.

Inveniam Viam aut Faciam
I'm back biatches!

[Finn 0]

A little off topic... but how are you getting away with TheBachelor if you're newly married?

Please put that answer and other useful advice into a "How To" book.

[mattyblast 0]

A former coworker of mine did just what you're planning. She basically invited everyone to come who had the means to come, and then had a reception when they got back. Best wishes to you both!

"DOOR!!!"

[skymama 37]

What about compromising with your Mom and make the destination wedding a little more affordable for everyone who would really want to go and have it at a resort in the south? Since you live in Mississippi, there are a lot of great destinations you could go to along the Gulf Coast, take a cruise or go over to the Bahamas. Then, you still have the beachy feel and you will have a lot less grief from your family. You and your fiance could always start planning the big trip to Hawaii to be your first anniversary gift to each other.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[wmw999 2,589]

If you want your families at the wedding, make it affordable to them and reasonable for time. If you don't, then don't pretend that you want them while you make it impossible. If you don't care, then make that clear too. Any of those is OK. Really.

The party for everyone to share is a very good idea, particularly if you make it clear to the people invited to the reception that it's the "real" family celebration -- that the ceremony was just for the couple. That way feelings are much less likely to be hurt.

And I really suggest that you not have your wedding in the same place as your honeymoon -- whoever does come will want to take advantage of being there and vacation. And who better to see than their darling daughter/son/whatever who are trying to honeymoon?

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[JohnnyD 0]

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It is going to be tougher on my side of the family to get away with this.

No offense, but if you're not mature enough to say this is my wedding that I'm paying for and this is how its going to be, are you really mature enough to be married?

[chaoskitty 0]

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It is going to be tougher on my side of the family to get away with this.

No offense, but if you're not mature enough to say this is my wedding that I'm paying for and this is how its going to be, are you really mature enough to be married?

I don't think thats a fair statment at all. What's mature about hurting your mother's feelings? My mother would be devastated if she couldn't attend my wedding. That doesnt mean it has to be a $30,000 church wedding, but surely theres a place where Jeremy and Sandra can get married and their families can attend.. without making it a big stressful "to-do".

[JohnnyD 0]

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I don't think thats a fair statment at all. What's mature about hurting your mother's feelings?

Maybe I'm missing something here.
He is planning his wedding.
He is paying for the wedding.
He wants to do it in Hawaii.
What about his feelings?
Why would his mother want to put that extra stress on him on his wedding day. Its not about his mother's feelings, its about his. Personally, I would tell her to get on board or get out of the way.