Tribute to Don Gau (Part 1—Paradise Discovered)

[waltappel 1]

What started out as posting a couple of funny stories seems to have turned into a series. In case you missed the earlier postings, here are some links:

"Maybe the greenies don't like it when you act like a fool...": A true story about just how stupid I can get when I'm really frustrated.
"More Stupid HumanTricks": A story of me getting stupid with some hot sauce.
"My Visit to a Bordello": Just like the title says...
"One more reason to hate the doctor's office": Nipple infections are not fun but can be funny.
"I am a bad man when I get bored": My encounter with a perv in a laundromat
"I am not a smart man when I'm drunk": A BASE site scouting trip gone bad.
"thoughtful career choices": Who says mental hospitals are not fun? (ME, that's who!!!)
"Glory, Glory, Halleleujia": Don't read this one if you are a homophobe.
"practical joke for the practical nurse": A practical joke I played when I was a nurse.
"The Romantic Kiss is Not Dead (long)": "God's gift to women
"The Ultimate Accusation": Like the title says...
"Building Stress Levels": How to give a BASE jumper a heart attack
"Lick it Baby!": adventures with my tongue
"When you have Little to Lose, You have Everything to Gain": Jumping El Cap


My friend Katy skydived but was not a BASE jumper and she had come along with me to check out what would become my favorite antenna tower of all time—a 900 ft. beauty that was no longer in use. No broadcasting equipment, no technicians, no tower maintenance people, and it was out in the boonies where only a handful of people ever went.

“Wow—look!!!! Wide-open landing areas on all three sides!!! No houses across the road!!!! This, Katy, is Paradise!”

To a BASE jumper, it was indeed a beautiful site. After admiring it for a while, and drawing a map of the guy wire orientation, we drove off and I saw an old man working in a field just around the corner. Seeing an opportunity to pump one of the locals for information about that beautiful tower, I pulled over to talk with him.

He was in his early sixties and looked like he had never sat behind a desk in his life. I can’t imagine that he ever would have wanted to. He had the deeply tanned and furrowed face and the hands of a man who has known a life of hard labor.

So here I was, striking up a conversation with the man. Anybody that knows me will tell you that I am not a good liar. And I am truly the polar opposite of being a smooth talker.

“Hey, how ya’ doin?”, I asked. “Do you know anything about that antenna tower over there? I’ve got a brother in law that works on antenna towers and he’s looking for some work.”

Little did I know it, but I had struck a gold mine.

This man was Don Gau and he had been living there since long before the tower was built. He told me who owned the land it was on and gave be a detailed accounting of it’s construction and history. What came next seemed waaaaaaaay too good to be true.

“Yep, and I’ve even seem some people make [I]parachute jumps[/I] off of it!”

I could hardly contain myself. “Oh, uh really? That must have been interesting….”

“Yeah, you should have seen them. They jumped off of it, opened their parachutes and landed like there was nothin’ to it.”

“Wow, uh, do you think anyone called the police?”.

“Oh no! Nobody around here would do THAT!!!!”

[I]Was I dreaming!!! Nothing good in life EVER comes this easy!!! Oh shit, what do I say?[/I]

“Well, this really is quite a coincidence,” I told him. “You’re not gonna believe this, but I was just thinkin’ about making a parachute jump off of that tower myself!”

[I]Yes, I really said that. I said it just like that. If there is a special part of Hell for people sound truly retarded when try to smooth talk their way into something, I’m sure I’ve got a space reserved especially for me. Don seemed ok with it, though.[/I]

“Really?!!!!”

“Yeah, would you like to see my parachute rig?”

“Sure!”

I pulled my BASE rig out of the trunk and had him try it on. One thing that I began to learn that day is a lot of country people are incredibly cool! There’s not much to do in the boonies in the way of entertainment, so they are quite open-minded to weird stuff like BASE jumps off of antenna towers.

After he tried on the rig and I explained everything about it to him, he asked if I was going to make a jump.

“I don’t know. What do you think the winds are doing?

“About 15 out of the southeast.”

“Perfect--keep your eyes on that tower. I’ll be jumping off in about 45 minutes!”

Katy and I drove back to the tower, I climbed the fence, went up to 400 ft. and jumped. Hell yeah—this was GREAT!!!! As we rounded the corner down the road, Don waved us over and we began what would be a truly wonderful friendship.

Don was my “getaway driver” for 20 or so jumps off of that tower, and afterwards, the beer would flow. He lived in an old, dirty one-room former bait shack along an old county road just around the corner from the tower and his place was “party central” around that area. You wouldn’t think so by looking at it, but everybody around those parts knew Don and would stop by for a beer or three.

Don had been a farmer, a construction worker, a commercial fisherman, and who knows what else. These days, he was mostly retired, but managed to make a few dollars here and there to make ends meet.

I’ve got a ton of “Don” stories and I’ll tell a couple of the more outrageous ones in Part 2.

Walt

[lisamariewillbe 1]

Some stories just need to be told... one day I hope to have affected someones life enough to have such. You are a wonderful writer Walt. And I await Dons next story.

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[Broke 0]

Dude is that an old Chrysler LeBaron say about 1979?

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[waltappel 1]

Quote

Dude is that an old Chrysler LeBaron say about 1979?

It was a 1978 Chysler Newport 2-dr. Far longer and far more chrome than any car really has the right to have.

It had a white leather interior, navy blue carpet and power door locks. As I recall, it had an 8-track player also.

The trunk, I'm sure, could have comfortably slept a family of four.

I got pulled over while on my way to jump the tower one time. The cop was quite convinced that I was a drug trafficker and I'm sure it's because of the car. That was quite a story in itself.

Walt

[Broke 0]

I had a friend who had a LeBaron it looked similar. I had a 79 Chrysler Cordoba, basically the same thing as the LeBaron just different hood plus T-Tops.

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192