AlexCrowley 0 #1 February 9, 2006 I think it's time the truth came out. here's a transcript: Alex: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? Shannon: Aight. Alex: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. Shannon: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Alex. Alex: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. Shannon: Oh, I like to play dress up. Alex: Me too baby. Shannon: I kiss you softly on your chest. Alex: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. Shannon: Hey... Alex: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite. Shannon: Funny I still don't see it. Alex: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness. Shannon: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. Alex: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. Alex: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. Shannon: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****. Alex: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. Alex: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. Alex: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. Alex: Baby? TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #2 February 9, 2006 dork. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #3 February 9, 2006 hey Alex, what's in that "cigarette" you're smoking in your avatar? Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #4 February 9, 2006 damn dude, you're working too much. I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio 0 #5 February 9, 2006 I'm not sure where you got that from, but I've seen that before and that's some funny shit man! There's quite a few others out there that are similar to that where the chick keeps coming back for more. LOL Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast! Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool! bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #6 February 9, 2006 [reply redacted] Dont worry, Funks will be along and add something humorous, I'm sure. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #7 February 9, 2006 the legend of bloodninja lives. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio 0 #8 February 9, 2006 Like this one... Bloodninja:Wanna cyber? DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-) DirtyKate:Who are you? Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm. DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate:I want everything, baby! Bloodninja:Is this a delivery? DirtyKate:Umm...Yes DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. **pause** DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza. Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though **pause** DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now. Bloodninja:How did you know? Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate:What the f**k? DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t DirtyKate:F**k Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast! Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool! bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #9 February 9, 2006 You are so weird. Now put Shannon back together again, you naughty boy. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #10 February 9, 2006 definitely a favorite, would have required more than a couple of search and replaces to make sense though and I wasnt about to go to that much trouble. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jjiimmyyt 0 #11 February 9, 2006 Quote hey Alex, what's in that "cigarette" you're smoking in your avatar? I believe that is Mr Bill Hicks, the greatest comedian ever, mainly ignored in the US. "This isn't an iron lung, people. You can actually disconnect and not die." -Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio 0 #12 February 9, 2006 After more searching.... This has to be my all time favorite... Girl: Hi Boy: hello Boy: who is this? Girl: just a someone? Boy: A someone I know? Girl: nope Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me? Girl: well sorrrrrry Girl: I just wanted to chat with you Boy: why? Girl: nevermind your an asshole Boy: Hey wait a minute Girl: yes? Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid Girl: paranoid? Boy: yes Girl: of what? Girl: me? Boy: No. I'm in hiding. Girl: LOL Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me! Boy: This shit is serious! Girl: What are you hiding from? Boy: The cops. Girl: gimme a fucking break Boy: I'm serious. Girl: I don't get it Boy: The cops are after me. Girl: For what? Boy: I'm wanted in three states Girl: For??? Boy: It's kindof embarrasing. Boy: I had sex with a turkey. Boy: Hello? Girl: You are fucking sick. Boy: Send me your picture. Girl: why? Boy: so I know you aren't one of them. Girl: One of what? Boy: The cops. Girl: I'm not a cop i told you Boy: Then send me your picture. Girl: hold on Boy: Hurry up. Boy: Are you there? Boy: fuck you, cop! Girl: Hey sorry Girl: I had to do something for my mom. Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities. Boy: Weren't you!? Girl: thats not it Boy: Then what? Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty Boy: Most cops aren't Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD! Boy: Then send me the picture. Girl: fine. What's your e-mail? Boy: Just send it through here. Girl: alright *PIC* Girl: Did you get it? Boy: Hold on. I'm looking. Girl: That was me back in may Girl: I've lost weight since then. Boy: I hope so Girl: what?!? Girl: that hurt my feelings. Boy: Did it? Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now. Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? Girl: yes Boy: Alright let me find it. Girl: kks Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC* Girl: this isn't you. Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't! Girl: You don't look like that. Boy: How the hell do you know? Girl: cause your profile has another picture. Boy: The profile pic is a fake. Boy: I use it to hide from the cops. Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... Boy: Not to mention all the groceries. Girl: Go fuck yourself Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week. Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture. Girl: You've done nothing but slam me. Girl: you hurt me. Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me! Boy: Why would I do that? Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. Girl: FUC YOU!!! Boy: You'd break both of his legs. Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole. Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me Boy: Ok. I'm sorry. Girl: No you aren't Boy: You're right. I'm not. Boy: HAARRRRR! Girl: I'm done with you Boy: Aww. I'm sorry. Girl: I'm putting you on ignore Boy: Wait a sec Boy: We got off on the wrong foot. Boy: Wanna start over? Girl: No Boy: I'll eat your pussy Girl: You'll what? Boy: You heard me. Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy. Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy? Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes Boy: Well I'm not like most men. Boy: I get excited in different ways. Girl: Like what? Boy: Do you really wanna know? Girl: I don't know Boy: You have to tell me yes or no. Girl: I'm afraid to Boy: Why? Girl: cause Boy: cause why? Girl: well lets see Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you? Boy: Nope Girl: well its strange to me Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to Girl: I didn't say that Boy: So is that a yes? Girl: I guess so. Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. Boy: Are you willing? Girl: What do you need me to do? Boy: I need you talk like a pirate. Girl: ??? Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!" Boy: ok? Boy: Hello? Girl: You can't be serious Boy: Oh yes I am! Boy: It's my fantasy. Girl: this is retarded Boy: Do you want it or not? Girl: Yes I want it. Boy: Then you'll do it for me? Girl: sure Boy: Ok. Here we go. Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy. Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit. Girl: mmmm yeah Boy: uh oh ...going limp. Girl: Har Boy: You gotta do better than that! Boy: Your picture was really bad. Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke. Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth. Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. Girl: mmmmmm you are good Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder Boy: going limp Girl: HARRRRRRR Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. Boy: You begin to sway back and forth. Boy: going limp Girl: this is stupid Boy: ...still limp Boy: Do it! Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole. Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole. Girl: WTF?!?!? Boy: They stink really bad. Girl: OMG STOP!!! Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Boy: I ram it up your ass. Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!! Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple... Boy: I kick you in the face! Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!! Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... Boy: Your parrot flys away. Boy: ...going limp again. Boy: Hello? Boy: Say it! Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!! Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast! Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool! bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #13 February 9, 2006 sssshhhhh. Don't ever say the name. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jjiimmyyt 0 #14 February 9, 2006 why not? "This isn't an iron lung, people. You can actually disconnect and not die." -Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #15 February 9, 2006 because it upsets them. They think Dennis Leary is funny. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kimblair13 0 #16 February 9, 2006 LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That is sick tho Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jjiimmyyt 0 #17 February 9, 2006 Quotebecause it upsets them. They think Dennis Leary is funny. I thought he was a rip off artist. I like americans that understand irony and dont just think I misspelled ironing. Go ing have to change my sig line though. "This isn't an iron lung, people. You can actually disconnect and not die." -Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #18 February 9, 2006 Coming to the US requires removing several higher mental functions, especially in the humor department. They are seriously clueless. If ever you are entertaining Americans just throw out dickjokes and hold their hands when going towards a joke. For gods sake dont attempt anything that isnt wearing it's own clown shoes, or they'll either miss it completely or get amazingly offended. This is really a subject where I could plumb the depths of my vitriol and contempt, but I wont. I'll just fire up the BBQ again. edited to add: yes, ripoff artist and a whore. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jjiimmyyt 0 #19 February 9, 2006 yeah, but you still live there, sucking satans cock. (Note to irony impaired Americans: I love your country, had great times, not just everything about it and the Number 1 attitude) "This isn't an iron lung, people. You can actually disconnect and not die." -Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #20 February 9, 2006 Sigh... I remember a time when you did original material....Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #21 February 9, 2006 There are reasons why I don't. anyway There's art afoot. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #22 February 9, 2006 urm. Dont quote any of it either. It scares them. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jjiimmyyt 0 #23 February 9, 2006 Quoteurm. Dont quote any of it either. It scares them. I reckon if we trickle feed some of it might sink through their overgrown foreheads (aquired whilst on Springbreak headbutting each other- WHOO) they might finally see the truth. "This isn't an iron lung, people. You can actually disconnect and not die." -Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #24 February 9, 2006 I'm not sure you can have the words 'fuckin' and 'cross' within the same paragraph in the US either TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jjiimmyyt 0 #25 February 9, 2006 Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is mearly energy condensed through a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, life is only a dream and we are the imaginations of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather. And thethread hijackis complete. Ta. "This isn't an iron lung, people. You can actually disconnect and not die." -Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
