yamtx73 0 #26 February 8, 2006 Leave it to rl to know all the sources... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyshrek 0 #27 February 8, 2006 QuoteQuoteQuoteThe only problem with orgies is you don't know who to thank on the way out The host and hostess. Walt Or host and host in shrek's case. My hands get lots of appreciation i wear gloves with vaseline every nighthttp://www.skydivethefarm.com do you realize that when you critisize people you dont know over the internet, you become part of a growing society of twats? ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #28 February 8, 2006 You obviously know how you feel about it. Now tell your partner how you feel about it. Its fun to talk and fantasize about stuff like that, but carrying it out can really screw things up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #29 February 8, 2006 From my professional experience, it's a good way to mess up something good. It's a good thing to do with someone you aren't serious with. But if you are serious with someone, well, that can cause problems. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #30 February 8, 2006 QuoteLeave it to rl to know all the sources... I actually believe that our society would run far more smoothly if we didn't have all these hangups about sex, most particularly the one that relates to sexual jealousy. But hangups we have, and logic will not make them go away. So even though my personal beliefs are different from the advice I give, I would tell anyone who asks that they should not to get into such a situation. Someone who can handle it doesn't have to ask the question. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stoneycase 0 #31 February 8, 2006 wow, and i thought i had problems today with a roomate bouncing a rent check. i yield...completely. my .02 though: of course he wants his turn. i'm betting he's thinking that you've "one-upped" him and now he's trying to get that back...which, of course, isn't fair to you. but in his mind, it may not be "fair" that you've done something sexually that he hasn't. unfortuantely, i'm thinking if you decline, even if he lets up politely (as he damn well should), what lies beneath the surface will be the same: he'll be jealous of your prior experience. maybe you can find some other common ground? maybe get "creative" in another way? if my guess is correct, and its about being one-upped or you having an experience he hasn't, than a good way to go about squashing this would be to have a "unique" experience together. i don't know if that's a sex club, sex on the roof of your house, dress up, toys, watching porn, bondage, etc. my guess would be, as long as it's unique, and it's something he wants/looking forward too, he'll forget about the 3some and start concentrating on other "unique" ideas that don't include a 3rd person in the bedroom... good luck, i'm sorry i don't have any real meaningful or enlightening advice/information to provide, only my .02. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squink 0 #32 February 8, 2006 PM sent ...the door was open SKYDIVERGIRLS.COM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Snowwhite 0 #33 February 8, 2006 I love my husbands take on the whole girl/girl thing, but I'll let him explain... Jealousy is already an issue. In case the last 2 dozen people haven't driven the point home.. THIS SEXUAL EXPERIENCE IS NOT FOR YOU, GRASSHOPPER.skydiveTaylorville.org freefallbeth@yahoo.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yamtx73 0 #34 February 8, 2006 QuoteI actually believe that our society would run far more smoothly if we didn't have all these hangups about sex, most particularly the one that relates to sexual jealousy. But hangups we have, and logic will not make them go away. So even though my personal beliefs are different from the advice I give, I would tell anyone who asks that they should not to get into such a situation. Someone who can handle it doesn't have to ask the question. rl Unfortunately we do have all these sexual hangups, the best we can do is find ways to work around them. My own advice was not to do it because if the damage it could/would cause to thier relationship. My personal beliefs run similar to yours but I wouldn't expect another person to feel/think similarly. If the OP felt she could handle it she never would have posted the question in the first place. The fact she had been involved in one before and now regrets it is an even better indicator as to what her answer should have been. Fantasies are great, sometimes even acting them out is phenominal but (yes, there's always a but) if you (general 'you') don't totally agree or if you have second thoughts don't do it; if it's something you want and your partner isn't 100% into it don't try to force your wishes upon them. Leave it a fantasy and find other ways to spice things up that both are willing to do/try.The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #35 February 8, 2006 Quote i'm betting he's thinking that you've "one-upped" him Almost all women have a variety of experience that is larger than men because they have more opportunities. They can give away more in one night than you'll get all month. Plus, with no committment, the prospects are better looking than usual. Most women only tell men as much as their sensitive egos can handle. For some reason, men like to believe that their new-found interest has lived in a cave until she met him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cloudseeker2001 0 #36 February 8, 2006 Unfortunately we do have all these sexual hangups Yea, the last 3some I was in girl #1 would not sit on girl #2 face and it ruined the entire 3some for me! "Some call it heavenly in it's brilliance, others mean and rueful of the western dream" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ntacfreefly 0 #37 February 8, 2006 She wouldn't wear her like a hat? That's just not a team player To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. ~ Lao-Tzu It's all good, they're my brothers ~ Mariann Kramer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #38 February 8, 2006 QuoteSex is voluntary. Pleasing your partner doesn't mean doing something that makes you feel bad, especially when it will inevitably destroy your relationship because it made you feel bad. Fantasy has a place, but bringing it into real life is most often a very bad idea, unless both you and your partner have a very well-defined sense of who you are and what you can handle. The alt.polyamory faq has some good information, particularly the supplemental faq on how to fuck up. You might want to read that for an idea of what can go wrong. http://www.polyamory.org/ I would swear to god that you know just about everything, but then I don't believe in his/her existence. QuoteI actually believe that our society would run far more smoothly if we didn't have all these hangups about sex, most particularly the one that relates to sexual jealousy. Poi-fect sentiment. I love it.---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thegreekone 0 #39 February 8, 2006 every see the "Bad Idea Jeans" skit on SNL? It spoofs a Levi jeans commercial.......and should just about cover your question. good luck, you are gonna need it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #40 February 8, 2006 QuoteI would swear to god that you know just about everything, but then I don't believe in his/her existence. rl is quite an amazing creature, isn't she! I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #41 February 8, 2006 The jealousy thing goes both ways... If a girl meets you under those circumstance(swinging) and later holds it against you that is wrong as well (like she wasnt doing the same thing) many women will tell what wild things they have done and then in turn refuse to do it. You might try and say you thought it was a bad idea afterwards but then try not to gloat about it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeepDiver 0 #42 February 8, 2006 QuoteIf a girl meets you under those circumstance(swinging) and later holds it against you that is wrong as well (like she wasnt doing the same thing) Interesting, In my experiences I've never had quite that problem. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GTAVercetti 0 #43 February 8, 2006 QuoteQuoteLeave it to rl to know all the sources... I actually believe that our society would run far more smoothly if we didn't have all these hangups about sex, most particularly the one that relates to sexual jealousy. But hangups we have, and logic will not make them go away. rl Not having jealousy PERIOD would help everything. But i would settle for no jealousy in sex. You are so wise rl, so wise. Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #44 February 8, 2006 Quote I actually believe that our society would run far more smoothly if we didn't have all these hangups about sex, most particularly the one that relates to sexual jealousy. But hangups we have, and logic will not make them go away.rl I totally agree with you. In order to eradicate jealously though you must first eradicate fear and insecurity. That's hard. If anyone knows how to do that it's you rl. If logic is not the answer, what is? Help us oh wise one. Tell us the way. We are your humble followers. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stoneycase 0 #45 February 8, 2006 QuoteQuote i'm betting he's thinking that you've "one-upped" him Almost all women have a variety of experience that is larger than men because they have more opportunities. They can give away more in one night than you'll get all month. Plus, with no committment, the prospects are better looking than usual. Most women only tell men as much as their sensitive egos can handle. For some reason, men like to believe that their new-found interest has lived in a cave until she met him. I would tend to agree with you. So if this is the case, what's the solution? Keep the past a secret, away from the sensitive ego, and hope it doesn't get uncovered later? Let the past out, and get stuck in a situation like this one? Somewhere in between? All I'm suggesting is trying to find something else unique to do. A "first" for the both of them, so to speak. Hoping that the "first" will lead to a "second" and that the guy's desire to have a 3-some will diminish over time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #46 February 8, 2006 QuoteQuote I actually believe that our society would run far more smoothly if we didn't have all these hangups about sex, most particularly the one that relates to sexual jealousy. But hangups we have, and logic will not make them go away.rl I totally agree with you. In order to eradicate jealously though you must first eradicate fear and insecurity. That's hard. If anyone knows how to do that it's you rl. If logic is not the answer, what is? Help us oh wise one. Tell us the way. We are your humble followers. Hmmm...if it's a cult I'm having, it needs a name. Something that refers to crazy people. Unfortunately, I have no need for followers, because I have no answer. So close, yet so far. I've been with guys who went to outrageous lengths to make me jealous, and who didn't understand that my reaction had nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with being on the receiving end of some really mean and shitty behavior. For example, it's one thing to flat out say, "I'm really hot for this girl, and I want to see what's up." It's quite another to change plans that were already made, ruining your partner's weekend as a result, and then lying about the reasons for doing it. I can deal with the former, but if you present me with the latter, I guarantee you I will go batshit. I don't understand jealousy. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me, and I don't want to be in the way of someone who wants to do other things. But if you fuck with me, as above, all hell breaks loose. I have this feeling that people need drama, and if it doesn't come to them in the natural course of things, they will invent it. I suspect that's the purpose served by jealousy, fear and insecurity. So the answer is, human beings must stop being drama queens. They must also remember the lesson we learned in kindergarten: nice people share. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #47 February 8, 2006 Quote Hmmm...if it's a cult I'm having, it needs a name. Something that refers to crazy people. Unfortunately, I have no need for followers, because I have no answer. So close, yet so far. taking rl shrine down Quote They must also remember the lesson we learned in kindergarten: nice people share. rl putting shrine back up Thank you oh wise one! I now worship rl and the flying spaghetti monster. I'm doing the polka in your honor now. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #48 February 8, 2006 Great!! Soon as I start trying take over leadership of this Cult... Some other upshot is already after the Throne!! Hey.. I know.. Each Day we can pick a new leader of the Cult. On days when RL is leader of the Cult, we can do Threesomes, Foursomes and Moresomes. (Oh and Anal Sex Too!!) On days when skinny shrek is leader, We can all just sit on our ass all day, Play poker, get fucked up and make fun of people. and when it is finally my turn again.. We can all sit around doing jello shots and flirting with everyone in sight. Hey this could be fun. So what would we do on "Your" day?? Hmmmm. Maybe this needs it own thread. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
goose491 0 #49 February 8, 2006 QuoteThere is your answer.. pure and simple.. what is good for you Goosie.. is good enough for his GANDER huh?... someone call me? Just to clarify, the Goosie is good for the whole Gander! My Karma ran over my Dogma!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
goose491 0 #50 February 8, 2006 If you're sure you'll be uncomfortable then you will be. Might I present a possibility though? The possibility that the ONLY reason you will be uncomfortable is because you decided beforehand, that you will? Talk it through, you'll have to know WHY you are uncomfortable with the idea... not just "The idea of him with another girl" as a blanket statement. You have to explore yourself and truly understand WHY it makes you uneasy. There is a chance that it's just because of fear of the unknown. I have never understood the fear that your partner would leave you for someone you brought home together. Anyway, as a bottom line: be true to yourself, and respectful to your partner. Good luck. My Karma ran over my Dogma!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
