This one time @ band camp (Stories of miss-spent youth)

[Icon134 0]

This one time @ band camp (Stories of miss-spent youth)

So at the suggestion of our very own Walt. I thought I would present some history of my own... as it were and although I don't think my stories are quite as "interesting" as his. I will make an effort to entertain.

I'm gonna start off with an account of some "trouble" I got into while in Highschool (as well as just starting college)

So to start with I learned at a very young age (around 10 years old) that even if someone in power does something they aren't supposed to do. If I do it I'm *Going* to get in serious trouble... even if the person in power just did the same thing. In my case it was removing terminals from a lantern flash light (you know those big 6 volt paperweights that were around long before LEDs meant we could light with little power forever...) at summer camp I witnessed the camp counselor doing the this to someone but when I did the same thing later... I was bunk bound for the remainder of the week. (summer camp wasn't exactly a barrel of monkeys for me...)

Fast forward to High school...

I'm hanging with a crowd that is in general a good crowd but like many HS kids we did enjoy causing trouble. Due to my experiences as a youngster at summer camp... I wasn't usually into participating but that didn't mean I wasn't willing to go along as a "casual Observer" (I believe the technical term is "Accessory")

One popular thing for High school students to do on slow weekends nights (at ungodly hours of the night) was to do something dubbed "ding dong ditch" if you haven't heard of this, which would surprise me, the basic premise is to wander through an neighborhood from between 1 & 3 AM ringing door bells of random houses thus annoying the residents while also trying to avoid getting shot (more on this in a bit...) Come to think of it I did this once (well except for the ditch part) when I was about 7 or 8 after being forgot in the car upon returning home from a late night party with my family. I rang my parents doorbell forcing my dad to wake wondering why I was outside... but that's not relevant here...

So we are wandering around one of my friends neighborhoods and ringing door bells hiding in the bushes to no avail... obviously no one in their right minds is willing to test the theory that someone is actually outside at these hours of the night. That's when one of my friends has a "good" idea.

After ringing one house with no response, my friend Dave says "I double dog dare someone to go ring that door bell again!!! I'll even go with who ever decides to do it..."

With very little coaxing one of my other friends Mike... agrees and the two of them approach the house in full prowl mode... Dave stays back a bit while Mike approaches the door and the remaining two or three observers wait on the side walk at the corner prepared to make our getaway... at this point time is practically standing still... then he rings it. (I belive he did it to the tune "shave and a hair cut".)

No sooner then the bell is pressed the door swings open to a infuriated homeowner threatening all of us with a Shotgun which none of us know if he actually had because at that point our night was made... and all of us were miles away scared shittless running our little asses off.


Of course then there was the time my friend Mike convinced the Cops we were trying to return the House "For Sale" signs being loaded in the trunk of my Car (my car chosen since I had a 69 nova and thus the largest trunk) at 1 AM... of course the reality is that we discovered the signs and some TP in Mike's front yard while catching the orignal perps (some friends of ours) in the act and intended to return the favor...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[JohnRich 4]

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"ding dong ditch"

That game is much more entertaining if you leave a dead snake on the front porch before ringing the doorbell.

You're an amateur!

I got caught red-handed once smashing a pumpkin on "Devil's Night" (Halloween Eve). I ran lickety-split around the corner of the house and headed for the horse pasture behind the backyard. There was just a wooden fence I'd have to quickly leap over, and then I'd be into the black void beyond, and free!

Only one problem, someone put a strand of electric fence wire along the top of the wood fence... BZZZZTT! I got zapped, but my momentum carried me over anyway, and the pumpkin owner decided it wasn't worth it to follow suit.

Okay, so now I'm free from the angry homeowner, and patting myself on the back for my daring escape. Yeehaw! But wait... I'm inside an electric fence, and I still need to get... back... out...! Ack!

[Nightingale 0]

Live snakes are infinitely more entertaining.

[Icon134 0]

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That game is much more entertaining if you leave a dead snake on the front porch before ringing the doorbell.

or a burning bag of dog sh*t but I see you're point...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[JohnRich 4]

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Live snakes are infinitely more entertaining.

Yes, but I imagine it would be difficult to get them to stand still until the homeowner answers the door. That's the beauty of a dead snake - they don't try to escape.

My 78-year-old Mom still likes to remind me of the night I almost gave poor Mrs. Craddock a heart attack with that stunt. I don't know how they found out it was me...

[lawrocket 3]

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Live snakes are infinitely more entertaining.

I agree. Back when I was in ROTC, we'd do our missions at Camp San Luis Obispo. I was a single OPFOR for one of the lanes when I was a senior, which gave me plenty of opportunity to do some studying under a nice tree in the hills. So as I was laying on my back reading Plato's Republic (awesome book, folks) I was alerted to the sound of rustling leaves under my neck.

Using peripheral vision and staying perfectly still I identified it. Yep. A snake. Red, yellow and black. Shit. Coral snakes are no fun. Or was it a King snake? "Red on black won't hurt Jack. Red touches yellow, that's a nasty fellow." I'd gotten up and saw that red touched black. Okay, a nice 2 feet long King snake. So cuddly.

He was resting comfortably in my hands, when the idea hit me that he needed a home. Since I had a box of Pop-Tarts (a permanent item of pogey bait) I thought it would make the perfect home. Gonads (as I named the snake) agreed and coiled up in the back.

Soon thereafter, I wrote "PIR" on the box of Pop Tarts (For those of you who are not in the know, the United States Army Committee for Arbitrary Acronyms deemed "PIR" to stand for "Priority Intelligence Requirements," alerting the young cadets who capture me that I've got some good stuff in that box to report the to the notional batallion REMFS). I poked some small holes and taped the box shut.

I didn't put up much of a fight in the raid. A lone gunman vs. 9 young cadets. They searched me and then one of them said, "The box says PIR." So another cadet opens the box and empties a handful of snake into his palm.

Fuck, that kid jumped. It only added to the chaos when he flung the snake onto the blouse of another cadet and Gonads started trying to crawl inside. (I also learned at that time that one of the Captains in our cadre, who shall remain nameless, not only was propoundly phobic of snakes, but that motherfucker could run fast for 20 yards - not bad for a 40 year old man). He later informed me that "serpents are the root of all evil."

Snakes are fun, and he was released to fend for himself. Ironically, I wasn't punished, although I was no longer referred to by my prior nickname of "Ned Flanders" and was viewed with a large degree of mistrust by many of them.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[ViperPilot 0]

wow, none of you guys did anything bad...geez. Where the hell is your sense of adventure with black powder, dry ice and baseball bats?