NWFlyer 2 #26 February 26, 2006 Quote Please explain this "Back in the day" reference. I'm confused. If she's not enjoying it you must not be doing it right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yamtx73 0 #27 February 26, 2006 Quote It was also back in the day that women weren't really supposed to *enjoy* sex... it was what we did to please our men. Of course alot of this has changed in the last 40 years, in some cultures women still aren't supposed to enjoy sex and are considered property but that has nothing to do with the original intention of this poll. Quote Some of it comes from a lingering idea that a woman who has been with other men is somehow "unclean." If she's been with other men and (horrors!) enjoyed it, then she's clearly a slut. Men who think this way want to have their cake and eat it too: "I want a woman who enjoys sex and is sexually adventurous, but has only ever done that with ME." I believe it has less to do with the woman being "unclean" or a "slut" but rather with his own inadequacies and feeling inferior. I think this usually changes as a man matures and realizes that the woman will have been with others and has most likely experienced things he hasn't. Quote QuoteI'm not talking about short flings here, guys. I want to hear thoughts on prior sexual experience of a woman who you want to be in a long-term relationship with and I'll call long-term as being two years or longer. Why *should* the standard be different? The fact that you've made the point to phrase the question this way indicates that it would be different, however. Which smacks of the whole "fuck the slut but marry the virgin" standard that has been applied to women for years and years. Implying, somehow, that the former is not "worthy" of marriage but somehow the latter is. Sadly, there's a lot of people who still apply that standard today. The OP apparently wanted to see how much of an experienced woman other men were interested in as a long term relationship which negates one nighters. Quote That brings up another standard that is often applied to women ... "It's okay if she's had long-term relationships, but no way do I want to be with a woman who has had flings or one-night stands. Unless it's for a one-night stand, in which case, bring it on!" Sigh. This goes both ways, you would be surprised at how many times I've run into that very same standard from women minus the "Unless it's for a one-night stand" statement. Let's keep the debate to SC and let the guys state their preferences in this thread like the ladies are stating what they want in the other thread....The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #28 February 26, 2006 QuoteThis goes both ways, you would be surprised at how many times I've run into that very same standard from women minus the "Unless it's for a one-night stand" statement. That's fair to say. I should clarify that sexual history does come into play to some extent - when we're talking about sexual health. I want to at least know that a person I'm sleeping with (whether it's for one night or longer-term) is not going to put my sexual health at risk. If they've engaged in high-risk behavior in the past, I may be less likely to have sex with them, until they can prove (via test results) that their past behavior won't put me at risk and that they're not currently engaging in high-risk behavior. But that's not judging them on their behavior, that's protecting my health. That's different. And I have no problem with a guy wanting to have that very same conversation with a woman he's thinking about sleeping with - it's a smart discussion to have. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #29 February 26, 2006 Quote...but that has nothing to do with the original intention of this poll. And what, exactly, was the original intention of this poll? QuoteLet's keep the debate to SC and let the guys state their preferences in this thread like the ladies are stating what they want in the other thread.... I, for one, think the debate is a very important part of this subject. Note to Krisanne: You're my heroine. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #30 February 26, 2006 Quote Let's keep the debate to SC and let the guys state their preferences in this thread like the ladies are stating what they want in the other thread.... Then I'd like to hear from the 9 guys (so far) who want their women "pure and untouched." So far Icon134 is the only one whose response has indicated that he voted that way. And in his case, at least he's holding himself to the same standard he holds women to. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yamtx73 0 #31 February 26, 2006 QuoteQuote Let's keep the debate to SC and let the guys state their preferences in this thread like the ladies are stating what they want in the other thread.... Then I'd like to hear from the 9 guys (so far) who want their women "pure and untouched." So far Icon134 is the only one whose response has indicated that he voted that way. And in his case, at least he's holding himself to the same standard he holds women to. I'm certainly not one who wanted "pure and untouched" as I clearly stated in my original post. I'm a realist, real women in their 40's are experienced and I expect that. As long as they're healthy I don't give a dam'n about their past....The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samurai136 0 #32 February 26, 2006 Uh... I have news for you, Kris. The secret decoder meaning for "Pure and Untouched" in the guy world translates into "I'm old and that 18yr old is looking just right." ps. I voted for option 2"Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian Ken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #33 February 26, 2006 QuoteWhy *should* the standard be different? The fact that you've made the point to phrase the question this way indicates that it would be different, however. Which smacks of the whole "fuck the slut but marry the virgin" standard that has been applied to women for years and years. Implying, somehow, that the former is not "worthy" of marriage but somehow the latter is. Sadly, there's a lot of people who still apply that standard today. As a woman, I may have different standards for someone I'd have a fling with vs. somebody I'd get into a long-term relationship with, but those standards are not at all related to his sexual experience. It usually has to do with overall compatibility ... there might be great sexual energy there but for whatever reason we don't make sense in a relationship. That brings up another standard that is often applied to women ... "It's okay if she's had long-term relationships, but no way do I want to be with a woman who has had flings or one-night stands. Unless it's for a one-night stand, in which case, bring it on!" Sigh. Why is it unreasonable for a man OR woman to have one standard for a sportfuck and a different standard for a relationship? A woman who has largely defined herself by her sexuality, and who has a history of infidelity as a side-effect of that, might make a fantastic lover, but I wouldn't be all that interested in trusting her. Fling - who gives a shit, Long term relationship - not so much. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #34 February 26, 2006 QuoteThe secret decoder meaning for "Pure and Untouched" in the guy world translates into "I'm old and that 18yr old is looking just right." I wish I believed that. I also wish I believed more 18-year olds were still virgins. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #35 February 26, 2006 Personally I feel that as long as I am the only one while we are together the past is thepast, and don't concern me much.Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #36 February 26, 2006 QuoteWhy is it unreasonable for a man OR woman to have one standard for a sportfuck and a different standard for a relationship? A woman who has largely defined herself by her sexuality, and who has a history of infidelity as a side-effect of that, might make a fantastic lover, but I wouldn't be all that interested in trusting her. Fling - who gives a shit, Long term relationship - not so much. That's fair, Dave, and it's not an angle I'd considered, but I would argue that it's more about your overall compatibility (trust, similar views on fidelity, relationships, etc.) than your willingness to get into a relationship at all with a sexually experienced woman (which is the angle from which I was approaching the question). I can see where this would be a legitimate reason for which you would apply a different standard, if indeed the reason for applying it is based on their relationship history, not their sexual history. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #37 February 26, 2006 QuoteWhy is it unreasonable for a man OR woman to have one standard for a sportfuck and a different standard for a relationship? Sportfuck? Quote A woman who has largely defined herself by her sexuality, and who has a history of infidelity as a side-effect of that, might make a fantastic lover, but I wouldn't be all that interested in trusting her. Fling - who gives a shit, Long term relationship - not so much. How did we get from "experienced" to "unfaithful"? rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yamtx73 0 #38 February 26, 2006 QuoteAnd what, exactly, was the original intention of this poll? The original intention of this poll is obviously to survey how much prior sexual experience men want their SO to have, this is easily determined by reading the title. QuoteQuoteLet's keep the debate to SC and let the guys state their preferences in this thread like the ladies are stating what they want in the other thread.... I, for one, think the debate is a very important part of this subject. Note to Krisanne: You're my heroine. rl Iy you feel a debate worthy of SC is an important part of this subject why not start one in SC instead of in this poll? I notice you didn't start a similar debate in the women's thread on the same subject, does that mean that it isn't worthy of debate? Regardless, I had my say on how much experience I want/expect from my SO. If you wish to debate this subject further go right ahead, I have nothing further to say to you.The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samurai136 0 #39 February 26, 2006 Here'a an official translator key: I want 'em pure and untouched = Dirty Old Man I don't like breaking 'em in--I want some experience = Normal, realistic, healthy guy I want a woman who can show *me* how it's done! = BDSM; Bottom Give me a porno star! = BDSM; Top Who cares? I just wanna get some! no translation needed Long term relationship?!!! For me a long-term relationship is 2 hours! = I have ADD"Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian Ken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #40 February 26, 2006 Whoa... no one's attacking you here. The fact is that we can (and do) have debates here in Bonfire, too. Not all threads are pure flirting and sexual innuendo. I, personally, think this is exactly the right place to talk about this issue, both the fun stuff and the deep stuff. Just because it's posted as a poll doesn't mean we don't debate it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #41 February 26, 2006 QuoteHere'a an official translator key: I want 'em pure and untouched = Dirty Old Man I don't like breaking 'em in--I want some experience = Normal, realistic, healthy guy I want a woman who can show *me* how it's done! = BDSM; Bottom Give me a porno star! = BDSM; Top Who cares? I just wanna get some! no translation needed Long term relationship?!!! For me a long-term relationship is 2 hours! = I have ADD Ah, it's all clear now. Thanks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #42 February 26, 2006 QuoteI notice you didn't start a similar debate in the women's thread on the same subject, does that mean that it isn't worthy of debate? 1. It's not the same because of the history behind the requirement for female purity before marriage. Also there are still women being punished--sometimes to death--in this day and age for the same old thing. And even in this country, the double-standard is alive and well, as evidenced by some of the responses to the poll. 2. Bobbi started that thread after she told Walt that this thread needed female input as well, and he told her to go start her own poll. I don't really feel like repeating myself, and crossposting is discouraged anyway. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #43 February 26, 2006 QuoteI don't know about that. Most women are perfect in their very own way. And the ones who aren't are crazy. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MikeForsythe 0 #44 February 26, 2006 QuoteAnd the ones who aren't are crazy. Do I have to answer that?Time and pressure will always show you who a person really is! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #45 February 26, 2006 QuoteQuoteAnd the ones who aren't are crazy. Do I have to answer that? You'd best behave or I will send telepathic messages to Cara telling her to bite your ass...while you're sleeping. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #46 February 26, 2006 QuoteThe original intention of this poll is obviously to survey how much prior sexual experience men want their SO to have, this is easily determined by reading the title. Thankyou for saying that. That's all it really is. Quote Iy you feel a debate worthy of SC is an important part of this subject why not start one in SC instead of in this poll? I notice you didn't start a similar debate in the women's thread on the same subject, does that mean that it isn't worthy of debate? Regardless, I had my say on how much experience I want/expect from my SO. If you wish to debate this subject further go right ahead, I have nothing further to say to you. I want no part of the debate either--I never intended this as a "gender wars" battleground. I did want this poll to provide some food for thought and that is something that results in debate and discussion. I'm also with you that none of this discussion needs to have any kind of hostile or militant (i.e., Speakers Cornerish) tone to it. That being said, I think Krisanne's posts are really thoughtful and worth reading. What I think is important more than anything else here, is to get men's attitudes on the topic, whether I happen to agree with them or not, and get the reasoning behind those attitudes, if there is any reasoning at all. My opinion on any of the mens' attitudes expressed is really irrelevant. I don't expect to agree with them all and I don't expect them all to be pretty. I just want to find out what those attitudes are. If anyone wants to know my attitude on some particular thing, feel free to PM me. You'll probably not find it all that interesting or enlightening, but I will respond. Other than that, I'm staying out of it. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MikeForsythe 0 #47 February 26, 2006 We both know that would require her to actually move and you know that is not going to happen!Time and pressure will always show you who a person really is! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #48 February 26, 2006 Great Post NW Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samurai136 0 #49 February 26, 2006 Assuming the 56 votes are all from Men, at this point 23/48 posts (48%) are from women. This is reason enough to have a Men's Only Forum. Walt tries to open a thread to elicit open non-judgmental commentary from the guys and.... I think I'm going to run some errands."Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian Ken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jverley 1 #50 February 26, 2006 QuoteAnd, that standard of purity was really only applied to women. If a woman didn't bleed on her marriage bed she was considered impure (never mind that the hymen can break through all kinds of ways other than intercourse...). Men, on the other hand, could sow their wild oats, and in fact were expected to. The bow and arrow need practice... the target don't (not an original quote) Dennis Miller in discussing the Islam belief that those who die for Allah will be greeted with 72 virgins said "After one or two virgins, you probably want a girl who'll stick her finger up your ass" Laugh. It's just sex. They/We either know or they/we will learn.John Arizona Hiking Trails Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
