Guys, how much prior sexual experience do you want your SO to have?

[waltappel 1]

I was in a discussion recently on how much prior sexual experience men want their SOs to have.

I'm not talking about short flings here, guys. I want to hear thoughts on prior sexual experience of a woman who you want to be in a long-term relationship with and I'll call long-term as being two years or longer.

Way back in the day, virginity and saving oneself for marriage were considered the ideal in American society. I can't even imagine that to be a common attitude these days.

My personal thoughts are that it is somewhat irrelevant to me because it's more the inner person I'm interested in. I think it's important that the amount of sex drive be matched well, but in a long-term relationship there is plenty of time to learn how to please each other and it should be an ongoing process.

Male egos being the fragile things they are, some guys consider it intimidating to be with a more experienced woman because it makes them wonder how they compare to her previous lovers. I know this applies to many women as well.

On the other hand, what guy doesn't want a partner who loves sex and is a total screamer?

Thoughts?

Walt

[PLFXpert 0]

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Way back in the day, virginity and saving oneself for marriage were considered the ideal in American society. I can't even imagine that to be a common attitude these days.

I don't know about the saving yourself until marriage...

But, my girlfriends and I called ourselves "The V Club" in high school. My best friend was Captain and I was Co-Captain

My current hunny is still my one-and-only

I had a LOT of experience w/ self-pleasure before him, though. Does that count?

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[waltappel 1]

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I had a LOT of experience w/ self-pleasure before him, though. Does that count?

No, because I didn't get to watch!

edited to add:
Seriously, I would think it relevant *only* if another partner were involved somehow, even if it's just a watching each other get off kind of thing. What I'm getting at with this poll is prior sexual experience with others and that can take a lot of different forms.

Walt

[freeflir29 0]

Experience doesn't so much matter. I need a girl that is a little adventurous. Hell........at this point I'll settle for sane.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

Walt......why does it have to be limited to just the guys point of view?? Sounds a little one sided and you won't get a "fair" answer without a womans input.


Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[waltappel 1]

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Walt......why does it have to be limited to just the guys point of view?? Sounds a little one sided and you won't get a "fair" answer without a womans input.


Bobbi

I agree with you 100% but I think that's a separate poll. Would you please create one?

Walt

[bbarnhouse 0]

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at this point I'll settle for sane.

Umm but Clay...aren't all skydiving divas crazy?
Just ask a whuffo!

[lisamariewillbe 1]

Some guys like to pay for it, it makes them feel better when they pay her by the hour.

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[waltappel 1]

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Some guys like to pay for it, it makes them feel better when they pay her by the hour.

There's an old saying among guys that goes something like, "You don't pay a hooker for the sex, you pay her to go away afterwards."

The general point of that is many guys at times, act like they consider having a relationship to be sort of an "overhead expense" related to having sex on a regular basis. Most talk about it in a very joking way, but some are actually serious about it, unfortunately.

As for me, I want the whole package. I've never had sex with a hooker, so I can't really consider that to be a truly informed choice, but it has always been what I wanted.

Walt

[yamtx73 0]

Finding a woman with little or no experience who is in my age group is practically impossible. My own personal preference... I would rather she knows what she's doing and what she likes, willingness to try new things (even if it's just new with me) is a BIG bonus....

The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

[Icon134 0]

I'd like to have someone that is dedicated to me... and I don't really like the idea of someone that has been with a number of men.

But I think the idea is moot because I'm not sure I'll ever stumble across the "perfect" woman...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[waltappel 1]

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I'd like to have someone that is dedicated to me... and I don't really like the idea of someone that has been with a number of men.

But I think the idea is moot because I'm not sure I'll ever stumble across the "perfect" woman...

I don't know about that. Most women are perfect in their very own way.
Walt

[RhondaLea 4]

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My personal thoughts are that it is somewhat irrelevant to me because it's more the inner person I'm interested in.

A person's prior experience reflects their perception of sex. A person's perception of sex is part of their "inner person."

This poll, as constituted, is sexist, and it belongs in SC where it can be properly argued, not here.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[waltappel 1]

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My personal thoughts are that it is somewhat irrelevant to me because it's more the inner person I'm interested in.

A person's prior experience reflects their perception of sex. A person's perception of sex is part of their "inner person."

This poll, as constituted, is sexist, and it belongs in SC where it can be properly argued, not here.

rl

Call it anything you want. I do not mean it as any kind of putdown toward women or men.

Walt

[NWFlyer 2]

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This poll, as constituted, is sexist, and it belongs in SC where it can be properly argued, not here.

I think it can be properly debated here. It probably won't be, but it could.

Edit to add: I'm not sure the poll itself is inherently sexist, but I'm willing to be a lot of the answers will be.

[Icon134 0]

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I don't know about that. Most women are perfect in their very own way.

True that, true that...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[yamtx73 0]

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My personal thoughts are that it is somewhat irrelevant to me because it's more the inner person I'm interested in.

A person's prior experience reflects their perception of sex. A person's perception of sex is part of their "inner person."

This poll, as constituted, is sexist, and it belongs in SC where it can be properly argued, not here.

rl

Taking one comment from the post and claiming it's sexist could be done for basically every thread in the Bonfire. The person who made the comment (Walt) was stating his own personal preference, just as I did in my post, just as the ladies are in their own poll on the same subject. Perhaps we should move them both over to SC, or perhaps we could just take it at face value and leave them where they are.

The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

[RhondaLea 4]

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A person's prior experience reflects their perception of sex. A person's perception of sex is part of their "inner person."

This poll, as constituted, is sexist, and it belongs in SC where it can be properly argued, not here.

rl

Taking one comment from the post and claiming it's sexist could be done for basically every thread in the Bonfire. The person who made the comment (Walt) was stating his own personal preference, just as I did in my post, just as the ladies are in their own poll on the same subject. Perhaps we should move them both over to SC, or perhaps we could just take it at face value and leave them where they are.

You have merged two separate issues--a) my comment on Walt's comment and b) my comment on the poll--that I did not intend to relate to one another.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[GTAVercetti 0]

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My personal thoughts are that it is somewhat irrelevant to me because it's more the inner person I'm interested in.

A person's prior experience reflects their perception of sex. A person's perception of sex is part of their "inner person."

This poll, as constituted, is sexist, and it belongs in SC where it can be properly argued, not here.

rl

Oh, don't take it so seriously rl.

Like water off a duck's back, it should be.

Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing.

[RhondaLea 4]

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Oh, don't take it so seriously rl.

Like water off a ducks's back, it should be.

Will you bring me pie?

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[GTAVercetti 0]

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Oh, don't take it so seriously rl.

Like water off a ducks's back, it should be.

Will you bring me pie?

Perhaps.

If you are bad.

Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing.

[RhondaLea 4]

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Will you bring me pie?

Perhaps.

If you are bad.

[NWFlyer 2]

Okay, in the interest of sparking some real, SC-level debate, here goes...

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Way back in the day, virginity and saving oneself for marriage were considered the ideal in American society. I can't even imagine that to be a common attitude these days.

It was also back in the day that women weren't really supposed to *enjoy* sex... it was what we did to please our men. And, that standard of purity was really only applied to women. If a woman didn't bleed on her marriage bed she was considered impure (never mind that the hymen can break through all kinds of ways other than intercourse...). Men, on the other hand, could sow their wild oats, and in fact were expected to.

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Male egos being the fragile things they are, some guys consider it intimidating to be with a more experienced woman because it makes them wonder how they compare to her previous lovers.

I'm sure some of it comes from the whole male ego thing. Some of it comes from a lingering idea that a woman who has been with other men is somehow "unclean." If she's been with other men and (horrors!) enjoyed it, then she's clearly a slut. Men who think this way want to have their cake and eat it too: "I want a woman who enjoys sex and is sexually adventurous, but has only ever done that with ME."

A guy who thinks like that also makes me wonder ... does he idealize women? In other words, does he have them up on this pedastal and have this expectation of "what a woman is" that, really, no *real* woman will be able to meet (at least not without trying desperately to bend herself into some idealized version of "woman" that her man has created in his own head.)

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I'm not talking about short flings here, guys. I want to hear thoughts on prior sexual experience of a woman who you want to be in a long-term relationship with and I'll call long-term as being two years or longer.

Why *should* the standard be different? The fact that you've made the point to phrase the question this way indicates that it would be different, however. Which smacks of the whole "fuck the slut but marry the virgin" standard that has been applied to women for years and years. Implying, somehow, that the former is not "worthy" of marriage but somehow the latter is. Sadly, there's a lot of people who still apply that standard today.

As a woman, I may have different standards for someone I'd have a fling with vs. somebody I'd get into a long-term relationship with, but those standards are not at all related to his sexual experience. It usually has to do with overall compatibility ... there might be great sexual energy there but for whatever reason we don't make sense in a relationship.

That brings up another standard that is often applied to women ... "It's okay if she's had long-term relationships, but no way do I want to be with a woman who has had flings or one-night stands. Unless it's for a one-night stand, in which case, bring it on!" Sigh.

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On the other hand, what guy doesn't want a partner who loves sex and is a total screamer?

Not everyone who loves sex is a screamer. Then again, maybe too many guys have been trained by porn.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[bozo 0]

Anybody but you . :o)

bozo

bozo
Pain is fleeting. Glory lasts forever. Chicks dig scars.

[freeflir29 0]

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It was also back in the day that women weren't really supposed to *enjoy* sex... it was what we did to please our men.

Please explain this "Back in the day" reference. I'm confused.