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skydivermom

Ladies, be prepared to LAUGH/BARF!

By skydivermom, in The Bonfire

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skydivermom    0

skydivermom
This article was published in the May 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly. It's kind of long...I'll try and condense it. It's definately worth reading.

THE GOOD WIFE'S GUIDE

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Take 15 minutes to rest (YEAH RIGHT!) so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon (:D:D:D) in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people (wah..wah...wah)

3. Be a little gay (it seriously says that) and a little more interesting (become a skydiver:P) for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper..etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables. (LOL..LOL)

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small). Comb their hair, change their clothes (shoot, sometimes I'm lucky if my three year old even has clothes on!). At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum.

8. Be happy to see him (that's really not hard in my house)

9. Listen ot him, you may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first...remember, his topicsof conversation are more important than yours
(WHAAAAAAT!!!!!!)

10. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out the dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. (Hey, as long as I can go skydive). Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

11. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

12. Don't greet him with complaints and problems ( I actually agree with this one)

13. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. (I don't think so!) Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

14. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

15. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

(Can we all say....DREAM ON!)

16. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfullness. You have no right to question him.

17. A good wife always knows her place (Yeah, it's 13,000 feet in the air!)

__________________________________________________

I thought my husband and I were rather old-fashioned until I read this.
Mrs. WaltAppel

All things work together for good to them that love God...Romans 8:28

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popsjumper    2

popsjumper
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Good to know that some universal truths never change. Those things are as true today as they were when written!

Walt



Like back in the 40s or 50s.
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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skydivermom    0

skydivermom
I am kind of wondering if the person who wrote this ever spent a significant amount of time with two young kids day in and day out. The picture with the article has the mother in a dress and high heels. That's pretty dangerous when you're chasing after young kids.
Mrs. WaltAppel

All things work together for good to them that love God...Romans 8:28

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skydivermom    0

skydivermom
I'm sure it may have worked for some people...but my mom tried to live by this article and made herself sick. How much good do you think she was to us in the hospital? If you don't take care of yourself, it's kinda hard to take care of someone else:P Okay, no more Dr. Philisms.

NOTE TO SELF: read the previous post before posting or it could be disasterous:P
Mrs. WaltAppel

All things work together for good to them that love God...Romans 8:28

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Rebecca    0

Rebecca
I can't help it:

Quote



THE GOOD MAN'S GUIDE

1. Have reservations ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have the best table reserved, on time for her return. Most women are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Take 15 minutes to shower so you'll be fresh when she arrives. Touch up your deodorant, splash some cologne on your cheeks and be excited-looking. She has just been with a lot of boring people who don't seem to adore her.

3. Be a little hard and very interested in her. Her boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away all your sports shit and the five million pairs of shoes lying around. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your goddess arrives.

5. Gather up books, YOUR toys, paper..etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables. They should be clear and clean for anything that might ensue.

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for her to unwind by. After all, catering for her comfort and providing her with immense personal satisfaction IS your job.

7. Prepare the children. Send them to the neighbors.

8. Be happy to see her. Let your pants show her how happy you are.

9. Listen to her...remember, her topics of conversation are more interesting than yours

10. Make the evening hers. Never complain if she comes home late or goes out the dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Just be happy you have an employed SO.

11. Your goal: Her home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your woman can renew herself in body and spirit - don't fuck it up.

12. Don't greet her with complaints and problems - deal with your shit.

13. Only complain if she goes to the strip club without you.

14. Make her comfortable. Have her lie down in the bedroom. have a cool drink and hot sex ready for her.

15. Arrange her pillow and offer to take off her clothes. And don't lean on her hair.

16. Ask her questions about her preferences or your performance. Remember, she is the master of the house and as such will always exercise her will with whips and chains. You have no right to question her methods, only to ask for more.

17. A good man always knows his place (it's where I tell him it is!)

__________________________________________________



:D

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

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warpedskydiver    0

warpedskydiver
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This article was published in the May 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly. It's kind of long...I'll try and condense it. It's definately worth reading.

THE GOOD WIFE'S/HUSBAND'S GUIDE

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.(true but only when a woman doesn't hold a job as well...besides I like to cook)

2. Take 15 minutes to rest (YEAH RIGHT!) so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.(not all neccessary but it's nice to look good for your SO)

3. Be a little gay (Woohoo what man doesn't like a Bi chick!:P) and a little more interesting (become a skydiver:P) for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.(goes for both and a fucked up looking disaster of a house is a strain on a relationship)

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper..etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables. (My house gest real dusty too but that's a job for 2 or 3 if she has a Bi friend;))

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him(under his ass?) to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.( so will a good licking for the woman):P

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small). Comb their hair, change their clothes (duh)At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum.(ok)

8. Be happy to see him (that's really not hard in my house...goes both ways)

9. Listen ot him, you may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first...remember, his topicsof conversation are more important than yours
(WHAAAAAAT?)

10. Make the evening his(or hers). Never complain if he comes home late(working and not smelling of skanky pussy) or goes out the dinner(WTF?), or other places of entertainment without you. (Hey, as long as I can go skydive). Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.(BJ's work nicely)

11. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband(SO) can renew himself(or herself) in body and spirit.

12. Don't greet him with complaints and problems ( I actually agree with this one)

13. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. (I don't agree on that one unless he's been working late and makes the money you spend like it's water) Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

14. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. have a cool or warm drink ready for him.(give her a pillow so the knees won't hurt after a nice BJ):)
15. Arrange his pillow(you mean have the bed made at least?) and offer to take off his shoes.(uneccessary) Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.(ok no nagging ass voices on either side)

16. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfullness. You have no right to question him. (or her unless you have been really fucked over by your SO in the past)

17. A good wife always knows her place (Yeah, it's 13,000 feet in the air!)(or in bed being dirty like when you met her!)mmmm;)

__________________________________________________

I thought my SO and I were rather normal until I read this.

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wildcard451    0

wildcard451
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I have a cookbook from my husband's grandma, a original Betty Crocker from the early 1950's. It is hilarious with the dribble they spout about making breakfast into faces to show your kids you love them. . . :S



I remember getting a few of those. They made me happy. Quit your bitching.

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skydivermom    0

skydivermom
Yes, my husband found it online and printed it out. I could not find the link this morning so had to type it out.

I suppose I should get off the computer and go starch his shirts or something...
Mrs. WaltAppel

All things work together for good to them that love God...Romans 8:28

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Douva    0

Douva
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Additional information: An image purported to be a digitized photocopy of the 13 May 1955 edition of a magazine called Housekeeping Monthly circulates with this message, but the graphic is a fake, created by simply adding text around a 1950s-era magazine graphic. (The image itself even bears an "Advertising Archives" legend along its side.)



http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.htm
I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

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ACMESkydiver    0

ACMESkydiver
Quote

Quote

I have a cookbook from my husband's grandma, a original Betty Crocker from the early 1950's. It is hilarious with the dribble they spout about making breakfast into faces to show your kids you love them. . . :S



I remember getting a few of those. They made me happy. Quit your bitching.



I loved that too, so do my kids! :ph34r:
~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

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wildcard451    0

wildcard451
Quote

Quote

Quote

I have a cookbook from my husband's grandma, a original Betty Crocker from the early 1950's. It is hilarious with the dribble they spout about making breakfast into faces to show your kids you love them. . . :S



I remember getting a few of those. They made me happy. Quit your bitching.



I loved that too, so do my kids! :ph34r:



Yeah. I win.

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seejanefall    0

seejanefall
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Quote

I have a cookbook from my husband's grandma, a original Betty Crocker from the early 1950's. It is hilarious with the dribble they spout about making breakfast into faces to show your kids you love them. . . :S



I remember getting a few of those. They made me happy. Quit your bitching.



Mazel tov for you.

_____________
PMS #394

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