waltappel 1 #1 March 10, 2006 ...by the women in your life. I'm not talking about the truly heinous stuff, either. I want to hear about the innocuous stuff that gets blown waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of proportion. Here's mine. I had a rat problem on my patio for a while. Rats would feed on leftovers from the squirrels I had been feeding. I bought a live trap and put it on the patio so I could relocate them. These were not the kind of giant science fiction movie rats that you hear that are living in New York City sewers or the giant wood rats that live in the boonies, but they are very large rats and very crafty. I call them "hell rats" and they deserve the name. I had relocated a few and my (at the time) SO told me she would like to see one up close next time I caught one. No problem. One morning I checked the trap and saw that I had caught a really large one. Before relocating it, I showed it to her. She was still in bed asleep but I knew she would be getting up soon anyway. I went in the bedroom and said, "Hey, check this out" and held the caged rat where she could see it. I wasn't trying to freak her out at all, but she had a really bad reaction to waking up and seeing a hell rat. She yelled at me for a while and I was quite mystified. After all, she had *told* me she wanted to see one! That was several years ago and even now, to hear her tell it, you'd think I had committed the crime of the century!! Let's hear your stories! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #2 March 10, 2006 Quote...by the women in your life. I was born.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #3 March 10, 2006 QuoteQuote...by the women in your life. I was born. Tough thing to be convicted of for sure, because there's no denying it or talking your way out of it! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #4 March 10, 2006 Actually, my swetheart tends to easily forgive everything from the most mundane offenses to the kind of stuff some women would use as an excuse to create the bonfire of the century with your belongings. As long as one or two rules remain unbroken, we're cool. My EX, however, was mortally offended that I wasn't a monk who had taken simultaneous vows of marriage, silence and chastity (with her). That was a rare treat, and quite a period of introspection for me. Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #5 March 10, 2006 QuoteActually, my swetheart tends to easily forgive everything from the most mundane offenses to the kind of stuff some women would use as an excuse to create the bonfire of the century with your belongings. As long as one or two rules remain unbroken, we're cool. My EX, however, was mortally offended that I wasn't a monk who had taken simultaneous vows of marriage, silence and chastity (with her). That was a rare treat, and quite a period of introspection for me. You have GOT to post some stories about that!!!! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pincheck 0 #6 March 10, 2006 Don't know if this is good enough, but here go. for our wedding we arranged for her uncle who does wedding videos to cover our wedding as a gift "i do " part so he gives us the tape editied onto a full size tape. fast forward 2 weeks into our new house and me sitting watching tv. All the family and friends by this time have seen the wedding video , she asks where the tape is i say down by the recorder she say's can't find it so its not marked as we got it pretty quick after her uncle completed the edit. I look and pass her the tape sit back down to watch the football this isn't the tape its got some old film on it I think here we go she is having a moment look at the tape. Click O shit i didn't break the tabs on the video and sure enough i had taped over the one and only copy off the Wedding video needless to say 2 weeks into a new marriage this is not a good thing to do and i was in the dog house for quite sometime Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #7 March 10, 2006 Quote Uh, where's the "Who cares, just so I get off" answer? I think that one's gonna sting for a while... One that comes to mind with my ex... We had been together less than a year - I was still a young pup, and about all I knew about laundry was "throw it and the detergent into the washer and turn it on". Well, I'm doing laundry, and two of the items in the wash are her new, white sweater and a red blouse. I'm sure everyone can see where this is going. Anyway... I pull the laundry out of the dryer, and "oh, shit..... um, honey?" The sweater had turned a light pink, and the embroidered flowers a very light pink. For someone that swore she wasn't mad about it, she sure got a lot of mileage out of it over the following 17 years....Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpwally 0 #8 March 10, 2006 Please,!!! That was an episode to the tee of "Everybody Loves Raymond " Be more originalsmile, be nice, enjoy life FB # - 1083 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #9 March 10, 2006 That's really bad and really funny at the same time! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pincheck 0 #10 March 10, 2006 i shit you not thats what happened niether of us broke the tabs so i eventually got off with good behaviour and a lot off sucking up But i still don't bring it up in conversation when she is around I'm from the UK whats "Everybody Loves Raymond " Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kturnau 0 #11 March 10, 2006 I feel your pain on that one! I had a little problem with our wedding tape too A couple months after we got married we went to a Casa boogie and ended up doing a hot raft dive. I just had to have it on tape so I searched my skydiving bag and found a nice "blank" tape to dub it on to. When I got home and popped it into the VCR I said wow that dive was pretty rockin' but after the jump was over and it switched to us taking our vows.....Oh shit! To this day I have no idea how that tape ended up in my skydiving bag but thank God we had another copy at the inlaw's place. Of course my wife made me explain how I taped over the wedding tape with a skydiving video to her dad but thankfully everything turned out alright. I still get crap for it....but rightfully so, I'm an idiot FALLATIO #13 PELT HEAD #20 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #12 March 10, 2006 Quote Uh, where's the "Who cares, just so I get off" answer? That really was a raw deal. Everyone knows that it's a myth. Kind of like guys falling asleep after orgasm. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #13 March 10, 2006 After the girls giving you that much shit in the other thread, I just HAD to say it, though....Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PsychoBob 0 #14 March 10, 2006 When I was arguing with my wife and told her if she was a dinosaur she would have been a "Cuntasaraus Rex"."I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it" RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #15 March 10, 2006 QuoteYou have GOT to post some stories about that!!!! Walt Lord, I could write a book...not that anyone would read it but ME. My job in that relationship was to sit at home, in minimal lighting so as not to use an inordinate amount of electricity and/or bother her while she studied; no music, because that would bother her while she studied (regardless of the fact that nobody could hear the music beyond a 2-foot diameter); no television, for the same reason as the radio (even if the sound were turned off, she would KNOW I was watching and it would bother her); no computer, as she was threatened by the fact that there were other people in the world who might have time to interact with me when she wouldn't; no phone...the studying issue again; no friends over, as that would prove I could have a life and interact with people in person and thereby undermine the whole platform of control she was operating from; no going out because she was threatened by the mere thought that I could be enjoying myself while she studied/slept/went to school/worked/anything but interact with me; and on top of all of that, no talking, singing, humming, burping, farting, excessive breathing or other noises associated with being alive that could interrupt her in her studies. Oh, and by no means were we to have sex at any time other than once a month, at a time of her choosing (the exact schedule to which I was not privy) and with as little change in the act as possible. Essentially, I was expected to sit at home, isolated from everything and everyone, quietly waiting in the dark for her to decide she might have a minute or two on an ever-changing basis to spend with me. Oh, and no masturbating. That would eliminate one of her perceived holds on me, and that was unacceptable. Thank goodness I have the heart and soul of a rebel, or I would have stolen quietly away to a monastery. Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ashtanga 0 #16 March 10, 2006 To many to name. At least I have been forgiven for most of them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #17 March 10, 2006 QuoteTo many to name. At least I have been forgiven for most of them. That'd be nice.it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #18 March 10, 2006 QuoteWhen I was arguing with my wife and told her if she was a dinosaur she would have been a "Cuntasaraus Rex". Holy shit!!!! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bozo 0 #19 March 10, 2006 Well......there was the time I went to the chug a lug contest......got really drunk.....fell in love with a blonde, who gave me a ride home. It was all working well until she and I walked into my house at 3 am, and my wife was there holding the new baby. No shit......I forgot I was married. She is an ex wife by the way............go figger. bozo bozo Pain is fleeting. Glory lasts forever. Chicks dig scars. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #20 March 10, 2006 QuoteWell......there was the time I went to the chug a lug contest......got really drunk.....fell in love with a blonde, who gave me a ride home. It was all working well until she and I walked into my house at 3 am, and my wife was there holding the new baby. No shit......I forgot I was married. She is an ex wife by the way............go figger. bozo Please tell me you're kidding!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bozo 0 #21 March 10, 2006 QuoteQuoteWell......there was the time I went to the chug a lug contest......got really drunk.....fell in love with a blonde, who gave me a ride home. It was all working well until she and I walked into my house at 3 am, and my wife was there holding the new baby. No shit......I forgot I was married. She is an ex wife by the way............go figger. bozo Please tell me you're kidding!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!! Walt Nope. Absolute truth. bozo.....not the brightest star in the sky bozo Pain is fleeting. Glory lasts forever. Chicks dig scars. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PsychoBob 0 #22 March 10, 2006 That's is fucking hilarious!"I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it" RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #23 March 10, 2006 That is really, really bad and damn do I wish I had been there to see that!!!! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #24 March 10, 2006 QuoteNope. Absolute truth. bozo.....not the brightest star in the sky Soooo, things were going well between the two of you up until THAT moment? Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #25 March 10, 2006 Ouch!!!Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
