mathias 0 #1 March 11, 2006 I am going to college. Online classes, it's making me smart. I do need some help though. I am currently working on writing a descriptive essay. Bonnie promised to help me and I asked her to read this one and let me know if it qualifies as a draft for a descriptive essay. She keeps laughing and tells me to write sleazy love stories, "You'd be good at it!" What do You think? Does it qualify as a descriptive essay? What can I improve? ""An Apple In front of me is an apple. It is red with small freckles of yellow. Its smooth skin appears polished. Protruding from the top is the stem, the umbilical cord from which the apple received its water and nutrients as it was growing on a branch. A faint smell of summer and sun is coming from the apple. The combination makes my mouth water. I grab the apple in my left hand and bring it to my open mouth. My front teeth sink into the crunchy white flesh of the apple. A cascade of flavors is bursting in my mouth, sweet at the tip of my tongue, sour at the back. I chew down a couple of times and let my molars macerate the tender apple. Moving the apple away from my mouth, I can see where my teeth had sunk in, a series of crescent shapes in the reddish peel, revealing the flavorful and nutritious soft tissue below. After swallowing my first bite my hand returns the apple to my mouth. This time my palate is ready for the sensation; saliva is excreted to meet the apple, as it is ground to a mush in my mouth. The second bite went deep, small seeds are visible inside the core of the apple. These seeds are small brown with a pointy end. If you chew them they leave a rather bitter taste in your mouth. The bitter taste comes from prunasin a cyanogenic glycoside. Which, if consumed in large enough quantities can be deadly. A small piece of the apple’s skin has lodged it self between my teeth. My tongue follows the smooth surface of my teeth and is interrupted by a small sliver of apple peel. By pushing my tongue to the roof of my mouth and sucking as hard as possible I try to dislodge the small piece of fruit. The piece dislodges, the sensation of its presence still lingers in the pink meat of my gums. A few more bites of the juicy apple leave me satisfied. I toss the core in the trash, stand up and walk back outside to my aircraft.""Ingen minns en fegis! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #2 March 11, 2006 Well, substitute a word or two and that's erotica. Bonnie's right. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GravityGirl 0 #3 March 11, 2006 I'm off to go buy a bag of apples! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Peace and Blue Skies! Bonnie ==>Gravity Gear! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
