Monday semi-funny

[hobbes4star 0]

A man walks into a bar after a long ride on his horse. He walks up to the bar and asks the bartender for a beer. When he gets his beer, he starts eyeing this beautiful lady in the corner. Just as he turns back, a monkey runs up to the beer, dunks his balls in the beer, and runs off.
Agitated, the man says to the bartender, "I can't drink this now! Give me another beer!"
So, the bartender brings him another beer. Before the man could do anything about it, the monkey ran back over, dunked his balls in the beer and ran off before the man could grab him. Even more angry, the man says, "I can't drink this now. Bring me another
beer!"
He gets another beer and guards it with his life. The monkey sneaks up behind him, knocks the stool out from underneath the man, hops up onto the bar and dunks his balls in the beer.
Now the man is thoroughly pissed. He grabs the bartender and says, "Man, I've had it. Who's stupid monkey is this anyway?"
The bartender replied, "It belongs to the piano player."
The man walks over to the piano player and says, "Excuse me, do you know your monkey is dunking his balls in my beer?"
To this the piano player replies, "No, I sure don't, but if you hum a few notes, I'll fake it."

if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?

[SpeedRacer 1]

I believe Your Monkey is Dunking his Balls in My Beer was an early jazz hit by Louis Armstrong.

Speed Racer
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[happythoughts 0]

A cowboy rides up to the saloon and ties his horse to the rail. Then, he walks around back, lifts the horses tail and puts his finger in the horses butt. Then, he wipes his finger on his lips and walks towards the door.

A person who witnessed the whole thing asks, "That was disgusting. Why did you do that?"
"Chapped lips."
"Does that help?"


"Well...I don't lick my lips."