Wed Funny

[hobbes4star 0]

Spring is in the air and it always puts me in a reflective mode. Guys, do you remember getting your first blow job? Girls, do you remember giving your first? Ahh, yesteryear. A time that lives in the sweetness of memory--until you really try to remember the negatives of whatever event you’ve romanticized
in your subconscious. Let’s examine the politics of the hummer.
First: there was the whole begging aspect that seriously put a dent in your dignity. Second: there was the "I’ll do you if you’ll do me" compromise in which you wound up with your face in her muff, further degrading your dignity, and worse, opening Pandora’s box and causing her to only be able to climax via direct clitoral stimulation from your lying, smooth-talking tongue (whereas before oral sex she used to achieve the Big O through grinding on that prematurely ejaculating stump you call a penis). Third: you were stupid enough to continue to go down on her--even after she stopped doing you, because you (being the moron that you are) enjoyed it as much as she did. In return what did we get? We got a girl whose mouth shrunk to the size of a frog’s ass in cold water every time our dick was anywhere in its vicinity. And on those occasions when she would acquiesce, she would purposely grate her teeth over the entire length of the shaft only stopping to chew on the head until it looked like ground chuck. When we could no longer take the pain and cry out for mercy, she would say, "It’s just
too big! I can’t fit it in my mouth."
Which caused us to utter words we thought we’d never say: "Awe, gimme a break! It ain’t big at all. Besides, I happen to know you blew Donny Johnson and his dick is twice as big as mine!"

if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?

[airtwardo 7]

I need a drink!

That one hit a little TOO close to home!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[masterrig 1]

God! That's funny! I really didn't have to beg the first time. I do recall though, my first moment of degradation and humiliation. I had been dating a little 'sweet thang' for about a year... till she went-off to college. When I got word she was coming home for the week-end, we set it up to 'go out'. After the dinner and movie, we were sitting in my car out front of her house. You know, makin' out a bit when, she reached down and got a firm grasp of my 'manhood'!
She proceeds to tell me about this guy she was seeing back at school. Well, needless to say, 'junior', wilted like a lily with frost-bite. She then says, while still holding my dick; "You're both alot alike... 'cept, he's bigger!" Now, there's a real ego booster! I realized right then, she had the sensitivity of a crocodile. Needless to say, I never saw the bitch again!


Chuck