Funny One Liners

[boinky 0]

1. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

2. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

3. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef. Can you pea soup?

4. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

5. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

6. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

7. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

8. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

9. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

10. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

11. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna' Lose A Trailer.

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[peregrinerose 0]

What do you call a clumsy opthalmologist?
Eye Dropper

How does the blind skydiver know when to pull?
When the leash goes slack.

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

[JohnMitchell 16]

Q. Do you know the difference between a motel and McDonalds?

A. "No."

2nd Q. Want to go get a Big Mac for lunch?


I know, that's a 2 liner.

[raftman 12]

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Nothing. He won't come anyway.