Define "self-centered"

[cocheese 0]

It doesn't matter. She barely knows me. I got her self centered right here... between my legs. And I'll center myself between hers.

(If she isn't so self centered.)

[RhondaLea 4]

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It's all a matter of perspective when dealing with others.

If you get your way, you are self-centered and selfish.

If the other person gets their way, they are the epitome of reason.

Boy oh boy, do I have a headache now.

First of all, I was asked a question in a PM. So I answered it: "Self-centered, but not selfish."

Then I amended it to "self-involved."

Here's my definition:

A self-involved person would give you the shirt off his back...if it ever occurred to him (on his own, without prompting) that you needed a shirt. But such people do not notice that you're running around topless because...they're too self-involved.

I agree with PLFXpert that a certain amount of self-centeredness is good. Taking care of oneself means that one will have the time and energy to take care of others.

But that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm not going to get into the rest of this here. I didn't realize this was going to become forum fodder (although I should have) or I'd have been much more specific about what I wrote in the PM.

Anyway, I thought some of the comments here were interesting, and this is actually a good discussion. I just want to be clear about what I meant in the conversation that preceded this thread.

rl

P.S. No, Jef, you're not in trouble.

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[cocheese 0]

It's all about you isn't it ?
(am i in trouble now ?)
Love ya rl.

[5432154321 0]

Self centered to me is defined as: You lying next to your wife or SO spankin it while she is on the rag, in agony with cramps and mood swings while you have the immediate means to cease the situation temporarily. It's like... WTF man... be a man and wear your redwings proud. A little bit of blood never hurt anyone, it doesn't taste ALL that bad... shit. Where's the love nowadays? It’s ALL woman, shiv…

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xenaswampjumper SPANKS THIS ASS!!! I WISH karenmeal spanked this ass too.....

[RhondaLea 4]

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It's all about you isn't it ?

(am i in trouble now ?)

All I can say is there better be something special in that box tomorrow.

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Love ya rl.

Love you back, honey.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[cocheese 0]

Always something special in your box if you hang with me.

[happythoughts 0]

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If she isn't so self centered.

It does seem like a little sharing would be in order.
Doesn't she ever think about your needs?

On Oprah, there was a woman who was cheating on her husband because her husband wasn't "meeting her needs". If you have to go elsewhere for fulfillment, Oprah understands.

[Muenkel 0]

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But such people do not notice that you're running around topless because...they're too self-involved.

Trust me, we notice. Call me self centered, but a lady running around topless and me giving her my shirt just seems wrong.

Chris

_________________________________________
Chris

[cocheese 0]

I think your head is doing just fine. genius

[PLFXpert 0]

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Then I amended it to "self-involved."

Here's my definition:

A self-involved person would give you the shirt off his back...if it ever occurred to him (on his own, without prompting) that you needed a shirt. But such people do not notice that you're running around topless because...they're too self-involved.

This is great. I like this clarification.

Though I openly would call myself selfish, I'm usually the first to notice such things and act on them (but don't tell anyone. I like my "I don't care" image).

I think when you're happy and content then you can truly focus on what is going on around you with far more clarity, be it someone in need or just a general something needing to be done.

I find that if I'm not happy about something, it clouds my perception of everything else b/c my mind is pre-occupied with something that is not making me happy. Once I get happy, everything & everyone else is very clear.

My mother is the type that gives and gives and gives and allows people to drain her. She would never complain, never seemingly mind, but I've seen her health and overall well-being deteriorate over the years and I believe it's due to her lack of focusing on herself. I think her greatest fear might be to be considered "selfish". Maybe that's why I've become the opposite---that and countless information on the subject I've read and been taught in psych courses.

So I tend not to mind if I choose something rather than something else to do or say that another might deem as me being a selfish lil' whatever

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.