Dealing with fat chicks that ask if they are fat when they really are fat

[SUPERConnie 0]

Isn't the tongue mightier than the sword? Bahahaha...I got a fine tongue...it is a registered weapon, btw.

[waltappel 1]

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Isn't the tongue mightier than the sword? Bahahaha...I got a fine tongue...it is a registered weapon, btw.

Ok, I gots ta' know. Is that really your tongue?!!! If so, I worship you!!!!

Walt

[turtlespeed 226]

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Isn't the tongue mightier than the sword? Bahahaha...I got a fine tongue...it is a registered weapon, btw.

How YOU doin'?

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[airtwardo 7]

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Isn't the tongue mightier than the sword? Bahahaha...I got a fine tongue...it is a registered weapon, btw.

***
Even with wet polish on the nails...
I see you can definitely get the last olive outta the jar!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Bolas 5]

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Isn't the tongue mightier than the sword? Bahahaha...I got a fine tongue...it is a registered weapon, btw.

Is it a registered sex offender too?

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[SUPERConnie 0]

Yes, that's my tongue, ask anyone at my DZ...bow down, Walt!

[waltappel 1]

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Yes, that's my tongue, ask anyone at my DZ...bow down, Walt!

Dayum!!!!

I think you just earned yourself a following of loyal perverts here on dz.com!!!!

So, uh, SUPERConnie, how ya' doin'?

Walt

[SUPERConnie 0]

It is not registered as a sex offender, but it does have it's own zip code.

[Bolas 5]

"Why does it have it's own zipcode?" ... "Is it really that big?" ... "Do you think that makes you special?"

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[SUPERConnie 0]

Yes....olives, pickles...lol...you name it.
Quite a talented tongue, I have...I got a great story for you:
WFFC, last yr, I was sitting next to a jerk of a jumper, who was being a bit of an ass to his fellow jumpers on their formation...he was "telling them", when I do this, you do that, not smiling & ordering his fellow jumpers around.. blah blah blah (like he was hot shit & they had to do as he said)...well I winked at one of his fellow jumpers & made a BIG sneezing sound...everyone looks at me...I stick out my long tongue & use it to wipe the end of my nose, then i wipe my wet nose with my hand, and offer my hand to wish the jerk of a jumper "good luck" on his jump...I had everyone in stiches..."Don't you want to shake my hand?"

[turtlespeed 226]

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Yes....olives, pickles...lol...you name it.
Quite a talented tongue, I have...I got a great story for you:
WFFC, last yr, I was sitting next to a jerk of a jumper, who was being a bit of an ass to his fellow jumpers on their formation...he was "telling them", when I do this, you do that, not smiling & ordering his fellow jumpers around.. blah blah blah (like he was hot shit & they had to do as he said)...well I winked at one of his fellow jumpers & made a BIG sneezing sound...everyone looks at me...I stick out my long tongue & use it to wipe the end of my nose, then i wipe my wet nose with my hand, and offer my hand to wish the jerk of a jumper "good luck" on his jump...I had everyone in stiches..."Don't you want to shake my hand?"

Yes Mistress.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[SUPERConnie 0]

"Why do you ask that question?" ...."Do you want to send it a special delivery letter?"... "Are you going to lick that stamp, or would you like me to?"

[stoneycase 0]

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Is there any way for a guy to come out of this situation without his balls being handed to him on a platter?

1 of 3 ways, imo:

1 - do like the law man says: realize the question is code for something else, and do your best with that
2 - do like the lady says, and turn it back on her, "why, do you think your butt looks big?"
3 - distract

my fav is 3. i dont have any funny personal experiences for you, but i once watched a good good friend of mine employ tactic #3 at a large party. didn't quite work out as planned.

we're standing there, he and i, kind of wall flowering at the party. his girlfriend is out mingling and my date is out doing the same - i wasn't really into her anyway. i was more concerned with keeping the keg w/in arm's reach than anything else. anyway, as we're standing there 2 girls come up to get some beer and he strikes up a conversation with the cuter of the 2. like a good bro, i make sure to step in and wing it with him. the girls are laughing, we're chatting, having a good time. well these 2 girls leave, and not 10 seconds later, up walks his girlfriend and my date - absolutely fuming. the exchange b/w my buddy and his girl that follows (to the best of my memory):

"who were you talking to?"
"i don't know, just some girls, what's up?"
something something 'i can't believe you, those girls are such sluts, etc etc"
"oh come on, give me a break, its not like i had sex with her"
"oh so you want to have sex with her?!"

at this point my friend realizes he's screwed, the hole he's in is getting deeper. his decision, i have no idea why, was to dump his entire beer onto his own head. no joke. he stood there, quiet for a second, took his cup, raised it and just dumped it all over himself. as he stood there dripping he said something like, "there, i took care of it for you, now everything's fine"

well it wasn't, without a word, his girl took her own beer, and snatched mine out of my hand, and poured them all over him.

"now everything is fine" and she walked away.

i almost died with laughter. they're still together btw, my good friend and that gal. she's actually one hell of a girl, they're getting married in August. every once in awhile when we get together that story comes up and she just *loves* to tell the ending.

Does whisky count as beer? - Homer
There's no justice like angry mob justice. - Skinner
Be careful. There's a limited future in low pulls - JohnMitchell

[Bolas 5]

"Why do think I ask that question?" ...."Aren't you sending something to me to see if they fit?"... "Are you going to do it from (checks profile) Illinois?"

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[waltappel 1]

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"Why do you ask that question?" ...."Do you want to send it a special delivery letter?"... "Are you going to lick that stamp, or would you like me to?"

SUPERConnie, I cannot get that fabulous tongue of yours out of my mind!!!!!!

Dayum!!!!!!


Walt

[Flygurl 0]

"It's not the dress that makes you look fat... it's the fat that makes you look fat."

________________________________________

"One out of every four American's are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

[airtwardo 7]

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..."Don't you want to shake my hand?"

***

Who...ME???

No thanks....it's still sticky from the LAST time we met...at the convention!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[angryelf 0]

wow-why don't the 18-20 y/o chicks I date have the intelligence you do?!?!?!

"Sometimes you eat the bar,
and well-sometimes the bar eats you..."

[SUPERConnie 0]

Are you the guy whose hand I shook or whose popsicle I licked?

[airtwardo 7]

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Are you the guy whose hand I shook or whose popsicle I licked?

***

I was the guy whose hand you licked...and popsicle you SHOOK!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[NWFlyer 2]

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wow-why don't the 18-20 y/o chicks I date have the intelligence you do?!?!?!

Probably because I'm old.

[SSGJOHNSON 0]

ASS PICTURE: Sorry dude thats a fat ass.

TOUNGE PICTURE: Now that just plain sexy.........

I know ill go to heaven because ive spent my time in Hell.