boinky 0 #1 April 21, 2006 Dear Heaven: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear Heaven: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? Dear Heaven: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"? Dear Heaven: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? Dear Heaven: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? Dear Heaven: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. Dear Heaven: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear Heaven: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog. 1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty. 4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. 5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps. 6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration. 9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello". 11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table. 12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house, not after. 13. I will not throw up in the car. 14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt. 15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company. 16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. And, finally, My last two questions... Dear Heaven: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #2 April 21, 2006 Quote10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello". OK, I guess I should write this one down. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #3 April 21, 2006 Quote Quote -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OK, I guess I should write this one down. ROFLMAO!!!! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squirrel 0 #4 April 22, 2006 Quote Dear Heaven: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? $10,000 couches...no kidding...and my dogs are always welcome. in fact i spend more time on the floor than them. you only life once, and thier life is shorter than a human. ________________________________ Where is Darwin when you need him? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #5 April 22, 2006 QuoteQuote Dear Heaven: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? $10,000 couches...no kidding...and my dogs are always welcome. in fact i spend more time on the floor than them. you only life once, and thier life is shorter than a human. There is nothing in the world like snuggling on the couch with your doggies and watching a movie I bought my couches specifically to let them up! leather, takes two seconds to defur them, though I rarely do cause it doesnt stick, just blows off She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #6 April 22, 2006 You forgot another one: "I will not eat other dogs' shit left on my lawn only to puke it back up." My ex-girlfriend's dog had a habit of doing that, I shit you not... it was gross, I actually witnessed this once. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NlghtJumper 0 #7 April 22, 2006 Quote Dear Heaven: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? This is one to really make you think... A man will do anything for the right woman, and when that woman destroys him, that man will become a hunk of meat with the common sense of a rodeo clown! ~ Christopher Titus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
