How do you...

[jumpjunkie2004 0]

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just too easy to pushover.

Ding ding ding...we have a winner : )

This is completely my problem. I know I need to be tougher. Someone PMed me and suggested that I get him out of bed every day at 5 and make him run with me. I think that would be good for both of us.

I definitely need to stick to my guns and make sure that I don't give up. There are days when I feel like crying. I also know that I need to pick my battles with him.

Funny thing - I'll bring him out to the DZ and everyone will love him. I'm the only person he tortures!

Thanks again to everyone that posted - there are many useful suggestions here!

Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat...

[weegegirl 2]

How could we not love him?? He's your kid, isn't he? I love that idea of making him run with you. Good bonding time too. Hang in there woman... Keep your witts about you... I'm sure he will turn out great.

[Amazon 7]

I think one way I motivated my son was to take him out to see people doing the jobs that people who do not get a good education get to perform for low wages.

I think I drove him thru a few trailer parks too

[turtlespeed 226]

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I think one way I motivated my son was to take him out to see people doing the jobs that people who do not get a good education get to perform for low wages.

I think I drove him thru a few trailer parks too

Like a scared strait program -

Someone agree with me please.

I'm feeling dejected.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[Amazon 7]

It certainly worked on John....
grades improved.. got into college....

[kiittycatt 0]

Try mixing in negative as well as positive reinforcement. If you're always punishing him for things then this will just discourage him and he may think that no matter how hard he tries, in school for instance, he won't be able to live up. Try setting a scale. In the case of school, maybe a C is acceptable. If he gets a B or A (or the equivalent), offer him $5 for every B and $10 for every A. If on the other hand he gets a C or D that earns him chores, or the confiscation of video games ect. I know when I was in school my parents had a kind of reward system for grades and that worked great for me. I loved getting money/ rewards for doing well and that was a big motivation. I was never punished for bad grades (and really don't think kids should be) but I always got a talking to and I hated those, and that was encouragement enough not to do poorly. If you try this making a gradual switch could be a good thing so he doesn't think he's won the battle, or just propose it as the new plan for the semester. Constant punishments are hard on the parents as well as the children and maybe positive reinforcements in this case could help alleviate some of that.

[turtlespeed 226]

Wow - bribery.

Sweet!

I say that you get him to tell his teachers that he'll kick their collective asses if the grades don't come his way.

That way - we et extortion in the mix too.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[JohnMitchell 16]

If it's the "not getting work done" thing, close coordination with the teachers will help. Try to find out every couple of days what work hasn't been turned in, then sit with your son until it gets done. Very high maintenance, but it worked for us. It shows them you care and that school work is important to you. Try not to nag, just be persistant. As far as punishment, every kid has something they don't want taken away. That's what you aim for.

[kiittycatt 0]

Worked on me. When I was growing up, and to this day, my parents know if they tell me I can't do something, I go and do just that. But if I'm offered and 'incentive' to do something then I'm all over it. Its kind of human nature. (buy one get one free....open a checking account and get 50$ free...ect.... people like incentives)

'Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain'

[jumpjunkie2004 0]

Fortunately, we have a system at our school. It's called "Basmati". I can look at his grades once a week. It shows what assignments have not been completed and his current grade in each class.

I've met with his school counselor several times and I was surprised when he said, "You can't motivate him. He needs to find the motivation himself." According to his PSAT scores, he's super smart. Although he is only a freshman, he scored better than 78% of the juniors taking the test.

I've taken away the internet - no IMing his friends. That was a big blow. I've also taken away his bike. That was really hard. He must have asked me 1,000 times if I'd let him use it.

I know I'll get throught his eventually. Sometimes, it just feels like I'm in a war zone.

Thanks for all the great advice!

Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat...