jumpjunkie2004 0 #1 April 26, 2006 discipline a teenager that disregards any punishment you issue?Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wingnut 0 #2 April 26, 2006 take away things they might like aka a viedo game or t.v. or if they are old enough, thier car keys.... i know if i was still a teanager and i got my keys taken i would not be happy and i'd shape up and fly right.... ______________________________________ "i have no reader's digest version" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_Copland 0 #3 April 26, 2006 I was never a fan of punishments, infact the more i was punished the more i would act up. The trick is making them want to straighten up themselves.1338 People aint made of nothin' but water and shit. Until morale improves, the beatings will continue. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JENNR8R 0 #4 April 26, 2006 Military school... Run away from home (you, not him)... Send him off to live with his father... or just realize that 'this too shall pass' and keep doing the wonderful job of mothering that you are already doing until he grows up...What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #5 April 26, 2006 That's how we raised our son and he responded well to that. Over 18? Wait 'til he leaves, throw his stuff out in the yard and change the locks. Under 18? No TV, no video, no nothin'. No clothes washed, no food cooked, no nothin'. Wait 'til he's 18.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpjunkie2004 0 #6 April 26, 2006 He's only 14. At this rate, I'm going to die of alcohol induced liver damage before he's 18.Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #7 April 26, 2006 I agree with taking away the things that are most important to them and then they have to earn them back. It works for my 17 year old daughter. I haven't had to try it on my son yet.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,587 #8 April 26, 2006 Remember that among the things you provide are anything to do with entertainment, fashionable clothing, a door on his room -- you get the picture. As his parents, you owe him nutritious food, a safe place to live, a reasonable bed, and whatever he needs for school. The other stuff is gravy. I was lucky; living with his dad a mile away was a wonderful thing for my son; his dad has a much more peremptory style that worked for him. But yes, removing privileges can be effective. Especially if you can find a way for it to be a natural consequence of whatever behavior. If he's into doing the minimum he has to for any job, well, you do the minimum too . Sucks, doesn't it? Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpjunkie2004 0 #9 April 26, 2006 QuoteI was never a fan of punishments, in fact the more i was punished the more i would act up. This is what I'm facing with my son. If I punish him for bad grades, he doesn't do any homework and his grades get even worse. If I take away his stuff, he reacts by breaking things. He's not old enough to get a job - so there is no way that he can pay for the things he has destroyed. Plus, I can't "make him" do anything. He ignores me.Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #10 April 26, 2006 You've lost control of who is boss in your house. You need to get that back and quickly before he gets any older. It's time to lay down the law that he will respect you and the items that you have in your household. If he can't pay for damages that he does to the house, he can work it off. Summer is coming, I bet there are some weeds in the yard that he can pull. Do your windows need a good cleaning? The garage needs to be emptied out and swept? There are lots and lots of ways for kids to "work off" payment. At one point in my daughter's life, we had to arrange with the school to get weekly progress reports from her teachers. If she showed positive improvements, she got back something that we took away. If there were bad grades or missed homework, she went without until the next progress report. Take drastic measures; no tv, no ipod, no computer, etc. Tell him he can read books, play games with the family, play sports, etc. until he gets his act together. The items that you take away are privledges that he earns, he is not entitled to them. It's tough, but you have to show that you are more stubborn than he is and you CAN NOT give in, no matter how crazy he is making you. You CAN make him do things, you just need to show him who is boss. Most importantly, don't let him get a rise out of you. Remain calm, use an even toned voiced. If he starts shouting, don't go down that road. You also have summer break coming up that you can work to your advantage. If he doesn't pull up his grades by the end of the semester, you can tell him he will go without his computer (or whatever) until school starts in the Fall. Don't make any empty threats though, you have to have the backbone to follow through.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_Copland 0 #11 April 26, 2006 Emotional black mail is the key, let him know how stressed you are. No matter how bad i was (yes i was a proper little cunt aswell) i still wouldnt like seeing my mum upset. I like the idea of running away, pack your shit and leave him. Stay at a friends. He'll soon come tohis senses if he see's that your at your wits end.1338 People aint made of nothin' but water and shit. Until morale improves, the beatings will continue. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpjunkie2004 0 #12 April 26, 2006 Great advice skymama. You're right - I need to be tougher. His father lives here with us, but does absolutely nothing with regard to parenting. So, in affect, I am a single parent. I always start out in a nice calm tone, but in the end, I end up losing my temper. Maybe I need to take up boxing : )Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JENNR8R 0 #13 April 26, 2006 Attend school with him one day. Don't just threaten it, do it. Follow him around loudly and make his life miserable. He will die of embarrassment. If he knows that will be repeated every time he misses an assignment, his grades would have to improve.What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #14 April 26, 2006 QuoteHe's only 14. At this rate, I'm going to die of alcohol induced liver damage before he's 18. There are programs that are designed to scare them strait. It almost worked on me. Normal kids take better to it than I did. See if there is a program in your area. Or . . . just send him to a bootcamp summer.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpjunkie2004 0 #15 April 26, 2006 He's my kid...so I'm guessing he's not very normal There are times when I think a good ass whipping would fix the problem. However, I'm not big enough to do it : ( He's promised me...yet again...that this semester will be different. He said if he gets a zero for an incomplete assignment, I can sell his bike on eBay. Oh, and I get to keep the money for my jump fund. So...the evil skydiving mom hopes he gets a zero :) Of course, the want your kid to succeed in life mom, hopes he is turning a corner.Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #16 April 26, 2006 Summer school. Why not? If he can't catch the grades during the normal school year, well that's his problem. Take his summer away. Otherwise, just bring him out to the dz and let us have at him. I need some rigs packed, a rig runner on busy days, a beer grabber, oh and the dz bathrooms REALLY need to be cleaned.... . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #17 April 26, 2006 Quote...I always start out in a nice calm tone, but in the end, I end up losing my temper... This is a key thing...do NOT let him push your buttons like that. Keep cool at all costs. Do not let him control you like that...once the yelling starts, he's won. He will sooner or later see that it is HIM being the asshat and NOT you.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #18 April 26, 2006 Quote He said if he gets a zero for an incomplete assignment, I can sell his bike on eBay. Oh, and I get to keep the money for my jump fund. . Well then - I'm glad he's LETTING you do things. That is very considerate of him.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #19 April 26, 2006 Nothing like a good old fashion beating.Does anyone see a correlation between all of this "time out" crap and the way kids act today?We went to our neighbors kids ball game the other day and I was ready to scream before it was time to leave.I heard one parent tell their kid a dozen times not to do the same thing.The kid would look at them,wait 2 minutes and go try to do it again.Unbelieveable!!!The next time he breaks something out of spite try smacking him in the mouth.I bet you will have his attention for a real come to Jesus meeting. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpjunkie2004 0 #20 April 26, 2006 QuoteSummer school. Why not? If he can't catch the grades during the normal school year, well that's his problem. Take his summer away. Otherwise, just bring him out to the dz and let us have at him. I need some rigs packed, a rig runner on busy days, a beer grabber, oh and the dz bathrooms REALLY need to be cleaned.... He's too smart to end up in summer school. He does just enough to avoid it. I think he'd be an excellent packer - he's over six feet tall - big strong boy. We should put him to work this summer as our packing slave! And you're right...those bathrooms could use a good cleaning!Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #21 April 26, 2006 Is he not doing his schoolwork because he doesn't feel like doing it or is he genuinely having trouble and then getting discouraged? Maybe talk to his guidance counselor about ways to help him improve thereby increasing his confidence. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpjunkie2004 0 #22 April 26, 2006 QuoteNothing like a good old fashion beating.Does anyone see a correlation between all of this "time out" crap and the way kids act today? I definitely see a correlation. It's not just my kids. I have many friends that are in the same situation or even worse. Fortunately, my son isn't ditching school or doing drugs.Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #23 April 26, 2006 I definitely see a correlation. It's not just my kids. I have many friends that are in the same situation or even worse. Fortunately, my son isn't ditching school or doing drugs yet. There I fixed it for you.I hope you can get control of this. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #24 April 26, 2006 I did just enough school work to have the things i wanted. No more no less. When I screwed up and got grounded, curfew shortend, etc. I straigtened up. I really hated school, but I was somewhat good at it. I went to school with kids that were really smart they just chose not to apply themselvs. it happens. Do I wish I did it differently. Yea Would I do it differently? No. the bad thing about school is that its not designed for information retention. School is merely a media for presenting information, and certain people just dont learn via that fashion.Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #25 April 26, 2006 QuoteFortunately, my son isn't ditching school or doing drugs. Yet. Gotta start being an asshat somewhere. Maybe a packing job would do him some good. He might enjoy it, get a nice workout, and you can keep a better eye on him... all while he is making some cash. Disclaimer... I ain't got no stinkin kids, so I can't really talk. But I was that asshat to my parents when I was growing up. They started with the whole beat her ass theory... then they tried the grounding theory.. then they just went into denial. I think I turned out okay in the end, but I saw a lot of trouble prior to leaving the nest. I kind of wish they had cared a little more or made more of an effort to keep things under control. Fantastic parents.. wonderful people.. just too easy to pushover. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
