Be the flame, not the moth.

[skymama 37]

I heard that line in a movie the other day when one man was telling another guy how to get a girl interested in him. It got me wondering if anyone has tested a theory like that and if it either worked or bombed out.

If both men and women are flames and not moths, how will anyone ever hook up?

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[cocheese 0]

Is that why women like the flamers ?

[freeflir29 0]

Yes it does..........in certain situations. One instance where it was a MUST if you planned on getting with ANY girl was in Korea. Obviously, the number of American women there were limited. They also get hit on NON STOP by idiots. I found that just sitting back, giving it a little time, and being friendly was all it took. It's like the women there didn't know what to make of a guy that didn't hit on them. I think on some sub concious level they felt left out in the cold. Pretty soon they WERE like moths to my flame.

[warpedskydiver 0]

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Yes it does..........in certain situations. One instance where it was a MUST if you planned on getting with ANY girl was in Korea. Obviously, the number of American women there were limited. They also get hit on NON STOP by idiots. I found that just sitting back, giving it a little time, and being friendly was all it took. It's like the women there didn't know what to make of a guy that didn't hit on them. I think on some sub concious level they felt left out in the cold. Pretty soon they WERE like moths to my flame.

While that behavior is unintentional it does always work...

However scooping up the hottest chick on a regular basis has it's problems...like jealous dudes trying to jam you up!

[swedishcelt 0]

Isn't that just the same as 'playing hard to get'?

I am just clueless about such things until people bonk me over the head with stuff. The result is the same.

[warpedskydiver 0]

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Isn't that just the same as 'playing hard to get'?

I am just clueless about such things until people bonk me over the head with stuff. The result is the same.

can you say bonk again...real slow!
woohoo!

[swedishcelt 0]

You're such a nice guy. I bet you have a lot of 'just friends'.

[warpedskydiver 0]

No I am mean, evil, and ugly, why?

[swedishcelt 0]

So am I.

[jumpjunkie2004 0]

I have not tested this theory.

I just wanted to say that you've got a dazzling smile skymama!

BTW - I'm a GIRL...I'm not hitting on skymama : )

Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat...

[swedishcelt 0]

See! I keep telling people that and they don't read your profile!!

[warpedskydiver 0]

I CAN STATE THAT YOU ARE LYING ONE ONE ACCOUNT...YOU ARE DEFINATELY NOT UGLY!

You are very beautiful and you know that

[skymama 37]

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BTW - I'm a GIRL...I'm not hitting on skymama : )

LOL...thank goodness!

Thank you for the compliment.
Yes, I suppose this is the same thing as playing hard to get. Maybe people don't do that anymore? I guess it's a good thing since it is a "game" when you do that, and I think a lot of people are tired of dating games. We should all go back to how it was in school when you passed a note that said, "I like you, do you like me? Check yes or no and pass the note back!"

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[unformed 0]

Yes it works, almost beautifully, but it needs to be genuine. Being the flame is simply being completely secure with yourself and not needing something else (the moth).

being a flame doesn't mean don't compliment or give anything or whatever. you can still do that but you're not looking for anything when you do give a compliment, it's much more genuine, and in the end, much more attractive.

i could go on for hours. a lot of the physical chemistry and psychology of humans explains a lot of why this works...

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[unformed 0]

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BTW - I'm a GIRL...I'm not hitting on skymama : )

LOL...thank goodness!

Thank you for the compliment.
Yes, I suppose this is the same thing as playing hard to get. Maybe people don't do that anymore? I guess it's a good thing since it is a "game" when you do that, and I think a lot of people are tired of dating games. We should all go back to how it was in school when you passed a note that said, "I like you, do you like me? Check yes or no and pass the note back!"

the thing is, while people say they hate games, when they get caught up in them, they have much more fun, and end up being much more attracted to the other person.

one thing i was told a while ago was never directly answer a question a girl ask you. for example: where do you work? ... make some sideways answer, because, in the scheme of things, it really doesn't matter, and not answering ends up with them wondering what it is you really do and you're getting into their subconscious...

on the same note...i've noticed that the best results i've gotten have been when i truly wasn't caring about the outcome and hence was completely detached and doing my own thing .. while maintaining somewhat of a conversation ....

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