I'd like to know why this is...

[lawrocket 3]

I've usually been regarded as a pretty nice guy. Too nice, a lot of the time, which most women didn't find as particularly attractive. I've actualy spent a great deal of time being the guy my female friends would vent to about what a jerk "X" is, etc.

Which leads me to wonder, how do some guys get girlfriends, wives, etc?

Guys like Charlie Sheen. Here's a guy with a history of drug and alcohol problems. Here's a guy with a history of prostitutes. Here's a guy with a gambling problem and a generally bad attitude. Domestic violence? Probable. At least that's what Denise Richards said. And she was ith him despite his past proclivities for porn stars and even shooting then-girlfriend Kelly Preston (now Mrs. Travolta).

Despite all this, women give him a chance.

Let's look at Rock Hottie Tommy Lee. Addictions, violence (domestic and otherwise), serial philadering, etc. He never seems to have a problem getting a gal, just keeping them.

I'll note from my career that the guy doesn't need the money or fame of a Charlie Sheen or Tommy Lee. If a guy has a reputation as a male whore with the status of probably afflicted with venereal disease, with a proclivity toward binge drinking, drug abuse, and established history of violence and other vice, why is it that so many women find this to be so damned appealing?

I want to say, "He's got three kids from three other relationships between 2001 and 2003, a prior domestic violence conviction in 2002, a divorce in 2002, two DUI's in 2003, and you thought back in 2004 that he'd treat you any differently from the other three mothers or his other wife? You thought he'd stop drinking and drugging and sleeping around? And you had not one, but TWO kids with him? One of them AFTER you had him jailed for hitting you in 2004?"

"Well, he's usually such a nice guy."

Why the hell do women do this?

p.s. - yes, some guys put up with some pretty lousy women, too, but rarely do men seem to face the same issues as the women.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[pincheck 0]

seen it a few times good guys come last dude

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun

[billvon 3,116]

Same reason guys want the hot party chick and not the librarian, I suppose.

[Remster 30]

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Same reason guys want the hot party chick and not the librarian, I suppose.

Same reason some guys want them. Some women go for that type.

Remster

[Zipp0 1]

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Which leads me to wonder, how do some guys get girlfriends, wives, etc?

I was an asshole when we started dating. I never put her first, and was a selfish dickwad. Now we're married, and I'm back to my normal self.

For a large part of my life I was just like you. I was the good friend to many beautiful girls, many I would have loved to date. Unfortunately, they didn't see me that way.

It's like Sam Kinison said: "Friends huh? So I have to listen to your stories and put up with your bullshit, but we don't fuck??? Is that pretty much how it works?"

Anyway, I still had some girls as friends, but never one I was physically attracted to. I guess I turned the tables. I had female friends who liked me, but I wasn't interested. They were stuck with my bullshit....

And if you were a celebrity, you could get away with all that Sheen/Lee BS too.

Zipp0

--------------------------
Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.

[NWFlyer 2]

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Why the hell do women do this?

... because they believe they can change him

... because they don't believe they deserve better

... because they feel they are "special" if they are "chosen" by the bad boy who "can have anyone."

... because they haven't grown up yet

... because they don't know how to have relationships without drama or they find them "boring"

I could go on, but I don't really understand them any more than you do.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Icon134 0]

you got me dude...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[Jaden 0]

The above mentioned lesser intellegent women like the bad guys because they have no self worth...Great bodies but no brains. Some are self destructive, some just love the attention.

Usually the women just have no-self esteem. They do not realize their beauty or strength. They are willing to take crap because they look to a guy for confidence rather than having faith in themselves.

There is also an exception for selfish women who keep the guy around for control.

[waltappel 1]

I'm sure if you really got to know the women those guys end up with it wouldn't seem like you are missing out on much. Except a bunch of really hot sex, of course.

Walt

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

I have no clue, though I will tell you I am not interested in those types of men.

I'll invite them to my party, 'cause I am sure they will get the "ball rolling", so to speak...but I would never date that type of guy. I have enough trouble keeping my own head above water, I don't need to be pulled under by someone like that.

I am sure these guys are really "nice guys" when they are on the straight and narrow and that is what someone like Denise Richards saw and stayed because of it. These guys are the real losers because they are flushing their lives down the toilet because of their life style (they can't stay sober, etc) and they threw away a "good woman".

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[gmittar 0]

Just wait till they're dumped with a 1 year old, then they'll be knocking on your door

|>.<|
Seriously, W.T.F. mate?

[kbordson 8]

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Which leads me to wonder, how do some guys get girlfriends, wives, etc?

Firstly - lets not start the whole "Nice Guys Finish Last" debate. It's not true, period.

Secondly - not all girls fall for the "Bad Boy" type.

But granted some do.... Because "love" (however it's defined) makes one think that "this time it'll be different." It would fall into the "He didn't love them like he loves me" or "I love him more than they did." mentality.

I think Krisanne hit most of the typical thoughts.... but what causes them? Maybe a mixture of pheromones, genetics, conditioning....
Conditioning being the big one. Girls are typically raised to "be nice" and help others. So you have here a situation where some guy needs support (mentally, emotionally, ect) and she feels needed, wanted.... until he acts up. But she can change that if she just helps him more.... Bad logic, but understandable.

The girls who go for the famous types are generally ones who are just going for the power aspect of lust.

[Conundrum 1]

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Why the hell do women do this?

... because they believe they can change him

... because they don't believe they deserve better

... because they feel they are "special" if they are "chosen" by the bad boy who "can have anyone."

... because they haven't grown up yet

... because they don't know how to have relationships without drama or they find them "boring"

I could go on, but I don't really understand them any more than you do.

What she said.

[lawrocket 3]

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Lesser intellegent women like the bad guys.

Intelligence is no factor with this. A good friend to whom I was that person ("cuddle bitch" is the term I've heard for my role) was extremely bright - another ADHD attorney, hot body, wealthy family, etc. She likewise faced those problems, had a past of abusive relationships, etc. Last year (last time I talked to her) her ex-boyfriend and one of her best friends had just died from an OD.

She was one of the 4 women who was shocked and upset when I found my lady, otherwise described as "That bitch who took you away." The ones that thought I'd always be there if they couldn't keep someone.

Whether they are intelligent or not is not at all determinative of whether they like the "bad guys," which to me is what is so weird. I can't say, "Oh, Marla was stupid." No, she was actually very, very bright.

p.s. I don't turn this into a "nice guys finish last." I disagree. It's a "tortoise v. hare" thing. Nice guys spend plenty of time looking at the hare's ass, but usually end up across the finish line first. Perhaps it's why I so enjoyed my HS reunion.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Remster 30]

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Nice guys spend plenty of time looking at the hare's ass

I think that might be your problem right there!

Remster

[NWFlyer 2]

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The ones that thought I'd always be there if they couldn't keep someone.

Are there people out there who really have this attitude? That somehow there are people out there who they can keep around as a backup plan and that they can be angry if the person doesn't wait around?

Sigh. That makes me even more sad. And I have to wonder if she's really a "good friend" to you.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[lawrocket 3]

... because they believe they can change him (why is that?)

... because they don't believe they deserve better (actually, every one of them seemed to think that they deserved better. They'd say, "I deserved better." It's gotta be one of a few things:
- "He's not the best but he's the best that I can do."
- "I'd rather be with him than with nobody"
- "He's a lot of fun to be around"
- "It's exciting being with someone whom I know I shouldn't be with"
- "It's chemical. Much like crack, it's bad for me and may kill me, but damn, I like it."

... because they feel they are "special" if they are "chosen" by the bad boy who "can have anyone." (Therein lies my point - how the hell can a guy like Charlie Sheen "have anyone?" If there is rationality, wouldn't he be scraping the bottom of the barrel?)

... because they haven't grown up yet (I don't totally agree with that. Women putting up with shit is not totally age related, although one of the reasons I liked older women was that they don't put up with shit. Maybe it's why I was always with older women - they didn't see a problem with a good guy)

... because they don't know how to have relationships without drama or they find them "boring" (this may be the winner)

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[lawrocket 3]

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Are there people out there who really have this attitude? That somehow there are people out there who they can keep around as a backup plan and that they can be angry if the person doesn't wait around?

Yep. 4 of them for me.

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I have to wonder if she's really a "good friend" to you.

3 of them weren't. One of them is because of the respect that she showed me and my wife and our relationship.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[NWFlyer 2]

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... because they believe they can change him (why is that?)

Because some people never realize that they can't change other people; they can only change the way they interact with them.

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- "He's not the best but he's the best that I can do."
- "I'd rather be with him than with nobody"

Those are just softer ways of saying "they don't believe they deserve better."

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- "He's a lot of fun to be around"
- "It's exciting being with someone whom I know I shouldn't be with"
- "It's chemical. Much like crack, it's bad for me and may kill me, but damn, I like it."

See "Drama" below.

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... because they feel they are "special" if they are "chosen" by the bad boy who "can have anyone." (Therein lies my point - how the hell can a guy like Charlie Sheen "have anyone?" If there is rationality, wouldn't he be scraping the bottom of the barrel?)

I think the theory is if you have gotten a lot of people you can have anyone. Therefore, as the one who gets him to "settle down" you are somehow more special. Again, not a phenomenon I understand.

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... because they haven't grown up yet (I don't totally agree with that. Women putting up with shit is not totally age related, although one of the reasons I liked older women was that they don't put up with shit. Maybe it's why I was always with older women - they didn't see a problem with a good guy)

How old you may or may not be related to how much you've grown up.

[Broke 0]

I could say a lot, but I'll keep this short and sweet and see how many people I piss off. I could site examples, bt I am tired.

Women are fucking retarted morons who don't know what they want. Even if they know what they want if they get it they will be afraid of it, so they will eventually fuck it up. In sort women are stupid.

And yes I have heard the words, "good friend," and "nice guy." Way too much in my life. Of course my all time favorite was, "I want a guy who's like you, just not you." There is only one guy like me.

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[NWFlyer 2]

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I could say a lot, but I'll keep this short and sweet and see how many people I piss off. I could site examples, bt I am tired.

Women are fucking retarted morons who don't know what they want. Even if they know what they want if they get it they will be afraid of it, so they will eventually fuck it up. In sort women are stupid.

And yes I have heard the words, "good friend," and "nice guy." Way too much in my life. Of course my all time favorite was, "I want a guy who's like you, just not you." There is only one guy like me.

Actually, the ones who don't want to date a guy with an attitude like yours sound pretty smart to me.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

Your a sad lonely man, aren't you?

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[waltappel 1]

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Your a sad lonely man, aren't you?

Bobbi

I'm thinking very frustrated is a better phrasing.

Walt

[gmittar 0]

I've heard it explained well this way.

"Women go for bad guys because it allows them to be bad knowing that they're still being good in comparison"

|>.<|
Seriously, W.T.F. mate?

[waltappel 1]

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Actually, the ones who don't want to date a guy with an attitude like yours sound pretty smart to me.

Shit, he's tryin' to attract the ladies who want a guy with attitude!

Walt