NWFlyer 2 #1 July 12, 2006 Yep, that's right, the annual Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction awards are out ... in case you're not familiar, this is a contest for the worst opening sentences out there. The 2006 "winner"... QuoteDetective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean. And the runner-up... QuoteI know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' -- and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? One of these years I've got to enter this contest. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #2 July 12, 2006 That piece of bad fiction floated gently through my head, exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #3 July 12, 2006 I LOVE these awards!! Quoteyou've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? That's a new sig line!! you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #4 July 12, 2006 QuoteThat piece of bad fiction floated gently through my head, exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. Love that other list too! you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bch7773 0 #5 July 12, 2006 theres an even worse contest... worth sex scenes in a published book... funny stuff http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,6109,1373416,00.html MB 3528, RB 1182 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #6 July 12, 2006 . . . it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns W T F???I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MF42 0 #7 July 12, 2006 Quoteand the vulva itself ... was of unusual plumpness, almost spherical, like a large exotic mushroom in the fork of a tree I'm going to have to remember this one. That'll get her purring like a kitten, yes sir, hot lovin' guaranteed. Matt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
