WrongWay 0 #1 July 28, 2006 So some things have been done. Some things have been said. Dz.com and the skydiving community as usual is filled with the crap it usually is. Hence, my reasons for not going anywhere for a good loooong time and severing ties with all those who don't tell me not to. However, I feel the need to pull some things from a pm I just wrote to someone concerning myself and my life and share it with all of you, because this is how I feel, and I think it's healthy to let your feelings be known, not to mention everyone has the right to stand up for themselves. So here you go. QuoteI've fucked up a couple of times in my life and I've done some stupid things that have gotten people hurt. If you're wondering if I have a guilty concience about a few things, of course I do. Everyone, including you I'm sure, has some kind of skeletons in their closet. Have I had issues in the past? Yes, no doubt. Do I regret that I hurt people? Of course I do. Do I know and understand the harm I've caused? You bet your ass I do. Believe it or not, I too have spent many a night with tears in my bed. But do I have regrets about what I've done? Honestly, not really. My reason being is that everything happes for a reason, and maybe I've had to fuck up a few times hugely to really teach me not to in the future. Maybe it took the whole world hating me and being 10000 bucks in the hole to fix myself, and if that's what it takes, then fine, so be it. At least I can learn from it, and no matter what you or any of the prejudiced fools say or think about me, none of you truly know me. None of you truly know who I am, how or what I think, what my hopes and dreams are, or what I'm thinking when I make any mistake. I am a good person. You can throw rocks at my name until the sun goes down and continue until it comes up, and anyone who wants to join you, I'll invite them myself. But the fact remains that when the sun comes up, I will still stand strong, and though my name may have a couple of scratches on it, I will keep going, keep living, and I will STILL be proud to be me because I have reasons to be proud. I'm human. I screw up like any other person. If I did it to intentionally hurt people, then yes, that would make me a bad person. But I don't. My point is: The damage in my life and the lives around me is done. I can't change the past. All I can do is ask for forgiveness and try to learn from the experience. If I receive forgiveness is not up to me. I don't expect it, nor should I. But the only thing I can possibly do is say I'm sorry, mean it with every ounce of my heart, and move on. QuoteSo do whatever makes you feel better, be it smash my name into the ground or try to get everyone you've ever come in contact with to hate me. If that makes you sleep better at night, then I encourage it. These people don't know me well, and so I do not care. I've stepped up and apologized even in the heat of my thrashing, and once again, that's all I can do. So I've done my part, and my role in this is finished. I truly wish you the best. Have a wonderful night, everyone. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #2 July 28, 2006 I've quit before... hmmm... its just not as simple as you might think... good luck... I think... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #3 July 28, 2006 Honestly, I don't know you. I don't really know what you have or haven't done; I try not to listen when people air their dirty laundry. There's always two sides to every story and there's the truth. But one thing about your post struck me. You admit to a lot of fuck ups and hurtful behavior... but you say this: QuoteI am a good person. If nothing else, I hope you can learn that it takes a lot more than saying it; it takes behaving like one to truly be a good person. You regret the outcomes of your behavior but you don't regret the behavior. You're like the kid who gets caught stealing a cookie. He doesn't regret the stealing; he regrets getting caught. The truly good people don't ever find the need to tell anyone they are. They just are. Hope you can figure out how to get there."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #4 July 28, 2006 Wow, will you marry me?!!!! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaden 0 #5 July 28, 2006 Well said and I have a similar viewpoint. I know nothing of your situation but I wish you the very best of luck. Have a blast & be safe up there. Unfortunately, impulsive judgment leaves some people blind to a simple apology. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NewGuy2005 53 #6 July 28, 2006 Quote. But one thing about your post struck me. You admit to a lot of fuck ups and hurtful behavior... but you say this: QuoteI am a good person. If nothing else, I hope you can learn that it takes a lot more than saying it; it takes behaving like one to truly be a good person. You regret the outcomes of your behavior but you don't regret the behavior. You're like the kid who gets caught stealing a cookie. He doesn't regret the stealing; he regrets getting caught. The truly good people don't ever find the need to tell anyone they are. They just are. Hope you can figure out how to get there. This is a great example of why I always stop scrolling and read anything that NW Flyer has to say. You need to listen to her. Dude: As I read the first part of your post, my ASSHOLE radar went into red alert. Stop being an asshole and the world will beat a path to your door. To hell with the tears in your bed and all that other nonsense. Change yourself. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squirrel 0 #7 July 28, 2006 ever notice when your happy, the world brings you good things...you should try it. i have seen someone (my wife) on thier deathbed have no self pity, be strong, be true...if you want to change your world, change yourself. yeah, i am a bit "in your face" ...so, sue me. ________________________________ Where is Darwin when you need him? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #8 July 28, 2006 Quoteever notice when your happy, the world brings you good things...you should try it.I call bullshit... I've been happy and still had shitty things happen to me... the key is to staying happy is not to mind so much what happens... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squirrel 0 #9 July 28, 2006 QuoteQuote the key is to staying happy is not to mind so much what happens... i agree...let it roll off your back like a duck. maybe being happy allows this. ________________________________ Where is Darwin when you need him? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Michele 1 #10 July 28, 2006 QuoteYou regret the outcomes of your behavior but you don't regret the behavior. You're like the kid who gets caught stealing a cookie. He doesn't regret the stealing; he regrets getting caught. I agree with you wholeheartedly in a general sense of your statement. In his post, though, I don't think that's what he was communicating. I think, honestly, that he realizes what he did was wrong. He also acknowledges that while he can't change past behavior, he can learn from what happened (whatever that is...I have no idea), and be a better person for it. People often don't learn from their mistakes...it seems like WW might have...and that is always a huge step in moving into a good place in your life. I really think that's all he was trying to say. Not that he didn't "regret" it, but rather he is better for erring, learning from that, and learning how to move forward. And that he values the lessons learnt so much that he doesn't "regret" things. That's what I took away from it. 'Course, I could be completely wrong...I hope no-one skewers me if I am. Again, I have no idea what caused his post in the first place. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NWFlyer 2 #11 July 28, 2006 (Quote from WrongWay) QuoteDo I regret that I hurt people? Of course I do. Do I know and understand the harm I've caused? You bet your ass I do. Believe it or not, I too have spent many a night with tears in my bed. But do I have regrets about what I've done? Honestly, not really. That's what I was basing my assessment on, Michele. All I have to go on is what's in the post, really. The rest is rumor, hearsay, and dirty laundry. The sense I got from the post was "I'm sorry people are angry with me right now" not "I'm sorry I've behaved badly." I may be wrong, too."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites WrongWay 0 #12 July 28, 2006 Quote I really think that's all he was trying to say. Not that he didn't "regret" it, but rather he is better for erring, learning from that, and learning how to move forward. And that he values the lessons learnt so much that he doesn't "regret" things. That's what I took away from it. That's EXACTLY what I meant. Thank you Michele. I wasn't trying to convey that I didn't regret the action. I was only stating that all things happen for a reason, and though they are very difficult and I feel awful for causing any of these things, I can't change them and so I thank God that I can take them as a learning experience. I'm trying to create something positive out of the negative, such as a lesson learned. That's all. And NWFlyer, I appreciate the concern and criticism, it helps me to better clarify what I'm trying to say because it lets me know I'm being unclear, plus it's always good to see someone else's point of view. And on that note, just to clarify, I'm not sorry that people are angry with me. I'm sorry for anything that happened, but anyone who is "mad" at me and hasn't had the courtesy to come to me and talk to me about it obviously 1. doesn't know me or 2. doesn't care enough about me (or any given situation) to ask. I know who my true friends are. I have pm's, phone calls, and visits to assure me of my friends who care for me regardless of my mistakes. And for that, I'm grateful. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Deuce 1 #13 July 28, 2006 Dude, what in the heck did you do? I get ripped a lot for my Catholicism, but just saying "I did something I regret, forgive me" is not enough. What did you do that you are so conflicted about? In my case it might be "I performed a contract killing on a pedophile who deserved it, but I still feel bad about the whole murder thing, I'm really sorry". I'd do a couple rosaries and prayers, and if I was truly contrite I'd be forgiven. To heal yourself, you must acknowledge whatever you did, honestly be sorry (contrite) and perform an act of contrition. I know all-y'all think this is crazy mideavel nonsense, but it does tend to work. What did you do, are you sorry, why are you sorry? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chaoskitty 0 #14 July 28, 2006 Quote I wasn't trying to convey that I didn't regret the action. I was only stating that all things happen for a reason, and though they are very difficult and I feel awful for causing any of these things, I can't change them and so I thank God that I can take them as a learning experience. I'm trying to create something positive out of the negative, such as a lesson learned. That's all. Jason.. first of all, the world is not divided in to "mad at you" and "not mad at you" sections. There are a lot of people who care about you who are very disappointed in you right now. Hi. I'm going to have to call BS on your learning experience theory. Before you made a move, you knew what the outcome would be. You knew that your actions would both break a serious committment to someone you claimed to love, and cause her a lot of pain that she really didn't deserve. Claiming to be "learning" from this situation is just as selfish as the act was. Quit fooling yourself. If anyone is learning from this experience, she is. She will grow, she will toughen up, and she will love somone again. She'll be fine. I worry about you and your heart a lot more. My hope for you is that your heart is now incapable of doing this to yourself or anyone ever again. You're not alone in this world.. but dont stay out there with all of the evil and the ugly. If you're truly sorry, dont just say it. Be it. And do something about it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Fallosophy 0 #15 July 28, 2006 I bet WrongWay thought he would get a lot of sympathy with this thread. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RkyMtnHigh 0 #16 July 28, 2006 Well said Meow. I think a lot of lessons are being learned thru the consequences of bad decisions. I used to work for a company long ago who's motto on their letterhead was "Actions...not Words". I didn't realize then how that motto applies to so many areas in life. _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Rebecca 0 #17 July 28, 2006 QuoteWell said Meow. I think a lot of lessons are being learned thru the consequences of bad decisions. I used to work for a company long ago who's motto on their letterhead was "Actions...not Words". I didn't realize then how that motto applies to so many areas in life. True dat. However, as someone who's also in a existentially transitional phase of life, I support the spirit of what WrongWay is saying and I relate. Before there can be action (the positive, forward-moving, self-improving variety), there must be understanding and self-knowledge. WrongWay seems to be pointed in that direction, and when you've been lost, just knowing you're at least facing the right way is a big step. WrongWay, don't stop the introspection, don't stop the questions, never forget you ARE a GOOD person, make a plan to be the best you can be, and DO it. Good luck! It's so worth it! (Oh, and you might need to change your screen name eventually...) you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chaoskitty 0 #18 July 28, 2006 QuoteI bet WrongWay thought he would get a lot of sympathy with this thread. Its tough love. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Fallosophy 0 #19 July 28, 2006 hijack: omg TMBG rules!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chaoskitty 0 #20 July 28, 2006 Hehhe.. I know! But *ahem* we're trying to be serious here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RkyMtnHigh 0 #21 July 28, 2006 TMBG? _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chaoskitty 0 #22 July 28, 2006 They Might Be Giants. The song title from my sig line.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RkyMtnHigh 0 #23 July 28, 2006 QuoteThey Might Be Giants. The song title from my sig line.. As IF.............I could figure THAT out.... ....can't say that anymore _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites livendive 8 #24 July 28, 2006 I don't know you or what you did that you regret, but I'll respond anyhow. We all make mistakes, and we all hurt people. Usually we should know better, but we can't always predict the outcome of our actions. A couple months ago, in the middle of a bad stretch, I hurt someone very close to me quite a bit, and really disappointed a few others. I couldn't make it better immediately, all I could do was be honest and penitent and continue trying to be what I consider a good man. Today started with that mistake biting me in the ass again...I kept my game face on, apologized again, and did what I could. Though I've had a bad couple of months, and today started out poorly, this evening I can look back on my day and honestly say "Damn, I had a good day", and it's largely because I've tried to be responsible and do what I can to correct my mistakes. I hope that you are truly contrite for whatever wrong(s) you committed, and that the lesson(s) you learned help make you a better man. The biggest mistake we can make is failing to learn from our lesser mistakes. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Squeak 17 #25 July 28, 2006 That reads like the start of a 4th step dude. PM me if it is and ya wanna chat abit. Hell PM me if it isn't and ya wanna chat abit You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
Michele 1 #10 July 28, 2006 QuoteYou regret the outcomes of your behavior but you don't regret the behavior. You're like the kid who gets caught stealing a cookie. He doesn't regret the stealing; he regrets getting caught. I agree with you wholeheartedly in a general sense of your statement. In his post, though, I don't think that's what he was communicating. I think, honestly, that he realizes what he did was wrong. He also acknowledges that while he can't change past behavior, he can learn from what happened (whatever that is...I have no idea), and be a better person for it. People often don't learn from their mistakes...it seems like WW might have...and that is always a huge step in moving into a good place in your life. I really think that's all he was trying to say. Not that he didn't "regret" it, but rather he is better for erring, learning from that, and learning how to move forward. And that he values the lessons learnt so much that he doesn't "regret" things. That's what I took away from it. 'Course, I could be completely wrong...I hope no-one skewers me if I am. Again, I have no idea what caused his post in the first place. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #11 July 28, 2006 (Quote from WrongWay) QuoteDo I regret that I hurt people? Of course I do. Do I know and understand the harm I've caused? You bet your ass I do. Believe it or not, I too have spent many a night with tears in my bed. But do I have regrets about what I've done? Honestly, not really. That's what I was basing my assessment on, Michele. All I have to go on is what's in the post, really. The rest is rumor, hearsay, and dirty laundry. The sense I got from the post was "I'm sorry people are angry with me right now" not "I'm sorry I've behaved badly." I may be wrong, too."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #12 July 28, 2006 Quote I really think that's all he was trying to say. Not that he didn't "regret" it, but rather he is better for erring, learning from that, and learning how to move forward. And that he values the lessons learnt so much that he doesn't "regret" things. That's what I took away from it. That's EXACTLY what I meant. Thank you Michele. I wasn't trying to convey that I didn't regret the action. I was only stating that all things happen for a reason, and though they are very difficult and I feel awful for causing any of these things, I can't change them and so I thank God that I can take them as a learning experience. I'm trying to create something positive out of the negative, such as a lesson learned. That's all. And NWFlyer, I appreciate the concern and criticism, it helps me to better clarify what I'm trying to say because it lets me know I'm being unclear, plus it's always good to see someone else's point of view. And on that note, just to clarify, I'm not sorry that people are angry with me. I'm sorry for anything that happened, but anyone who is "mad" at me and hasn't had the courtesy to come to me and talk to me about it obviously 1. doesn't know me or 2. doesn't care enough about me (or any given situation) to ask. I know who my true friends are. I have pm's, phone calls, and visits to assure me of my friends who care for me regardless of my mistakes. And for that, I'm grateful. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #13 July 28, 2006 Dude, what in the heck did you do? I get ripped a lot for my Catholicism, but just saying "I did something I regret, forgive me" is not enough. What did you do that you are so conflicted about? In my case it might be "I performed a contract killing on a pedophile who deserved it, but I still feel bad about the whole murder thing, I'm really sorry". I'd do a couple rosaries and prayers, and if I was truly contrite I'd be forgiven. To heal yourself, you must acknowledge whatever you did, honestly be sorry (contrite) and perform an act of contrition. I know all-y'all think this is crazy mideavel nonsense, but it does tend to work. What did you do, are you sorry, why are you sorry? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #14 July 28, 2006 Quote I wasn't trying to convey that I didn't regret the action. I was only stating that all things happen for a reason, and though they are very difficult and I feel awful for causing any of these things, I can't change them and so I thank God that I can take them as a learning experience. I'm trying to create something positive out of the negative, such as a lesson learned. That's all. Jason.. first of all, the world is not divided in to "mad at you" and "not mad at you" sections. There are a lot of people who care about you who are very disappointed in you right now. Hi. I'm going to have to call BS on your learning experience theory. Before you made a move, you knew what the outcome would be. You knew that your actions would both break a serious committment to someone you claimed to love, and cause her a lot of pain that she really didn't deserve. Claiming to be "learning" from this situation is just as selfish as the act was. Quit fooling yourself. If anyone is learning from this experience, she is. She will grow, she will toughen up, and she will love somone again. She'll be fine. I worry about you and your heart a lot more. My hope for you is that your heart is now incapable of doing this to yourself or anyone ever again. You're not alone in this world.. but dont stay out there with all of the evil and the ugly. If you're truly sorry, dont just say it. Be it. And do something about it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fallosophy 0 #15 July 28, 2006 I bet WrongWay thought he would get a lot of sympathy with this thread. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #16 July 28, 2006 Well said Meow. I think a lot of lessons are being learned thru the consequences of bad decisions. I used to work for a company long ago who's motto on their letterhead was "Actions...not Words". I didn't realize then how that motto applies to so many areas in life. _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #17 July 28, 2006 QuoteWell said Meow. I think a lot of lessons are being learned thru the consequences of bad decisions. I used to work for a company long ago who's motto on their letterhead was "Actions...not Words". I didn't realize then how that motto applies to so many areas in life. True dat. However, as someone who's also in a existentially transitional phase of life, I support the spirit of what WrongWay is saying and I relate. Before there can be action (the positive, forward-moving, self-improving variety), there must be understanding and self-knowledge. WrongWay seems to be pointed in that direction, and when you've been lost, just knowing you're at least facing the right way is a big step. WrongWay, don't stop the introspection, don't stop the questions, never forget you ARE a GOOD person, make a plan to be the best you can be, and DO it. Good luck! It's so worth it! (Oh, and you might need to change your screen name eventually...) you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #18 July 28, 2006 QuoteI bet WrongWay thought he would get a lot of sympathy with this thread. Its tough love. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fallosophy 0 #19 July 28, 2006 hijack: omg TMBG rules!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #20 July 28, 2006 Hehhe.. I know! But *ahem* we're trying to be serious here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #21 July 28, 2006 TMBG? _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #22 July 28, 2006 They Might Be Giants. The song title from my sig line.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #23 July 28, 2006 QuoteThey Might Be Giants. The song title from my sig line.. As IF.............I could figure THAT out.... ....can't say that anymore _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #24 July 28, 2006 I don't know you or what you did that you regret, but I'll respond anyhow. We all make mistakes, and we all hurt people. Usually we should know better, but we can't always predict the outcome of our actions. A couple months ago, in the middle of a bad stretch, I hurt someone very close to me quite a bit, and really disappointed a few others. I couldn't make it better immediately, all I could do was be honest and penitent and continue trying to be what I consider a good man. Today started with that mistake biting me in the ass again...I kept my game face on, apologized again, and did what I could. Though I've had a bad couple of months, and today started out poorly, this evening I can look back on my day and honestly say "Damn, I had a good day", and it's largely because I've tried to be responsible and do what I can to correct my mistakes. I hope that you are truly contrite for whatever wrong(s) you committed, and that the lesson(s) you learned help make you a better man. The biggest mistake we can make is failing to learn from our lesser mistakes. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #25 July 28, 2006 That reads like the start of a 4th step dude. PM me if it is and ya wanna chat abit. Hell PM me if it isn't and ya wanna chat abit You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
