A Few Good Salesmen

[2fat2fly 0]

Assuming that you've seen "A Few Good Men"-this does sound like the meeting that I have with the accounting department every quarter.
-------------------------------------------
Sales: "You want answers?"

Finance: "I think we are entitled to them!"

Sales: "You want answers?!"

Finance: "I want the truth!"

Sales: "You can't handle the truth!!!"

Sales (continuing): "Son, we live in a world that requires revenue. And that revenue must be brought in by people with elite skills. Who's going to find it? You? You, Mr. Operations? We have a greater responsibility than you can't possibly fathom. You scoff at the sales division and curse our lucrative incentives. You have that luxury. You also have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that while the cost of business results are excessive, it drives in revenue. And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You don't want to know the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about in board meetings ... you want me on that call. You NEED me on that call!

We use words like stop loss, cost management, network discounts and transparency. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent negotiating opportunities. You use them as a punch line!

I have neither the time nor inclination to explain myself to people
Who rise and sleep under the very blanket of revenue I provide and then
question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a phone and make some sales calls. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"

Finance: "Did you expense the lap dances?"

Sales: "I did the job I was hired to do."

Finance: "Did you expense the lap dances?"

Sales: "You're goddamn right I did!"

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[JeepDiver 0]

Thats some funny chit right there. Do you feel better now?

[PLFXpert 0]

I just delt with some shiz from an underwriter...

I needed that.

Of course, I was also just thinking it sucks to be an honest woman in sales But, at least I can sleep at night---and I still give the big boys (and their non-existant consciouses) a run for their money.

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[downwardspiral 0]

Thanks I needed that. Too funny.

www.FourWheelerHB.com

[StreetScooby 5]

Still employed? I doubt they'll put you in jail, unless there's other things you haven't told us.

We are all engines of karma

[Bolas 5]

Finally got suspicious of those $500 lunches?

I can actually see you doing that.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[2fat2fly 0]

You've been on the phone with me while I was doing the set-up

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[Gawain 0]

Being a former salesman with several long-sales-cycle environments in my past, I can totally relate!

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!