unformed 0
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There are some posts tonight which I feel that justify digging this one up....
My post from last year remains the same.
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My post from last year remains the same.
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zulu 0
Hmmm interesting subject. I guess this would depend on your personal beliefs and how much are your willing to forgive. Most religions preach forgiveness. My older sister is Buddhist and she has always taught me to forgive, and I have seen how she somehow has found a level of piece only envied by others.
But there is a limit. example my ex who was my best friend, only dated me because of my ethnicty. My diverse background was something of a trophy for her instead of what a true relationship should have been based on. I just happened to be at her girlfriends home doing a photo shoot and heard the conversation on speaker phone. This was after she dumped me.
There isnt anything physically worse than the pain I felt that day. I could never forgive her for it even though its been over 10 years. There are somethings I will forgive, but that will never be one of them.
But there is a limit. example my ex who was my best friend, only dated me because of my ethnicty. My diverse background was something of a trophy for her instead of what a true relationship should have been based on. I just happened to be at her girlfriends home doing a photo shoot and heard the conversation on speaker phone. This was after she dumped me.
There isnt anything physically worse than the pain I felt that day. I could never forgive her for it even though its been over 10 years. There are somethings I will forgive, but that will never be one of them.
Absolutely!
To me, not forgiving someone, is like drinking poison...and expecting the other person to die.
Mother to the cutest little thing in the world...
To me, not forgiving someone, is like drinking poison...and expecting the other person to die.
Mother to the cutest little thing in the world...
Jaden 0
I usually forgive. Life's too short to hold a grudge.
I make a lot of stupid verbal mistakes but I never intentionally hurt anyone.
It depends on the situation; I believe there are certain extreme cases that do not deserve forgiveness.
Edit: Deliberate, selfish taking of innocent human life and torture are not worthy of forgiveness, in my eyes.
I make a lot of stupid verbal mistakes but I never intentionally hurt anyone.
It depends on the situation; I believe there are certain extreme cases that do not deserve forgiveness.
Edit: Deliberate, selfish taking of innocent human life and torture are not worthy of forgiveness, in my eyes.
I do. But do I make the same mistake of allowing myself to be open to the same person in the same way that betrayed me in the first place? No.
Not trying to stir anything up...
But how can one draw a line between what's forgivable, and what's not? Surely, there are some things in life that people do, that will hurt us more than other things. However, no matter how bad the behavior towards us/our loved ones, we still need to forgive. Otherwise how can we truly say we forgive others...and then not do it, depending on the circumstance?
My belief is that true forgiveness, is granting it to the perpetrator, no matter whether they ask for it or not, and no matter how bad his/her actions were.
Mother to the cutest little thing in the world...
But how can one draw a line between what's forgivable, and what's not? Surely, there are some things in life that people do, that will hurt us more than other things. However, no matter how bad the behavior towards us/our loved ones, we still need to forgive. Otherwise how can we truly say we forgive others...and then not do it, depending on the circumstance?
My belief is that true forgiveness, is granting it to the perpetrator, no matter whether they ask for it or not, and no matter how bad his/her actions were.
Mother to the cutest little thing in the world...
QuoteBut how can one draw a line between what's forgivable, and what's not?
Easily. It's not what society thinks is forgivable. It's not what my friends or family think is forgivable. It's what I think is forgivable. If I can't will myself to forgive it, then I won't forgive. This is a rarity among those who have asked for forgiveness. I usually give it because I understand that people fuck up.
Unlike many, I will not claim to forgive. Honesty about this subject tends to make people think I am callous.
QuoteHowever, no matter how bad the behavior towards us/our loved ones, we still need to forgive.
I cannot disagree with you more. I have seen levels of human suffering at the hands of others that would shock you to be in the presence of. This suffering, both psychological and physical, can leave you incapable of understanding the suffering. Without an understanding of the suffering, you cannot truly forgive it.
Forgiveness comes from knowing and understanding the nature of it. And true forgiveness can only come from the real victim. I'll put it this way - if somebody murdered me, I would be unable to forgive this person because I would be dead. Family and friends who would tell the killer, "I forgive you" might make the killer and the forgiver feel better, but true forgiveness can only come from me.
If someone were to murder my wife or son, that person can say goodbye to any forgiveness from me - EVER. And I'd even explain, "Only Conor can forgive you - not me. He's dead. Therefore, you ain't getting it."
Other things are forgivable, but I usually only forgive the person who asks for it. It takes guts to say, "I'm sorry." If someone does that, I'm usually cool because that person did show some character.
Quotehow can we truly say we forgive others...and then not do it, depending on the circumstance?
We can't. I believe that no person who is not a true candidate for sainthood can say that they truly forgave a person for that persons trespasses. I am no saint. Neither is anyone else I can think of. Therefore, I do not hold myself or others to the standards of a saint for anything other than honesty.
QuoteMy belief is that true forgiveness, is granting it to the perpetrator, no matter whether they ask for it or not, and no matter how bad his/her actions were.
I agree that that is true forgiveness. I also believe that true enlightenment comes from the understandnig of the universe that can only come from being an omnipresent deity. I am just as capable of true enlightenment as I am of "true forgiveness."
My wife is hotter than your wife.
If someone genuinely feels bad for what happened and apologizes, then I forgive. I can only forgive once, however.
Some people are really forgiving, and that's great if that works for them. We all live our lives differently, however. What makes one person feel better doesn't necessarily work for someone else.
Some people are really forgiving, and that's great if that works for them. We all live our lives differently, however. What makes one person feel better doesn't necessarily work for someone else.
There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning
Jaden 0
The question asked my opinion, I gave it. I have the same right to speak my mind as you do. Opposing viewpoints and the different ways we choose to express ourselves are part of what make us all unique. Our different views on this topic are non-debatable.
This is my belief and it's alright if we disagree. Try to open your mind a little, I will too. Have a good one.
This is my belief and it's alright if we disagree. Try to open your mind a little, I will too. Have a good one.
Very good post and honest!
Muff Brother # 3883, SCR # 14796 ICD # 1 - Pres.
Yeah, I noticed and I think it's funny!
Muff Brother # 3883, SCR # 14796 ICD # 1 - Pres.
Yeah, I noticed and I think it's funny!
Gawain 0
QuoteNope......If someone burns me. It's over. If it was really bad......it may take the rest of my life but sooner or later.....They'll get whats coming to them.
It is however imprtant not to let it eat you. It will if you undertake this in the wrong way.
You're funny dude!!
So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!
QuoteYou're funny dude!!
Who me?
I believe you're referring to my post .... and I should clarify it a it.
There's two levels of wrongs:
1) the typical problems that happen everyday. whatever stupid crap, we deal with it and go on. these don't really mean anything in close relationships (friends, family, lovers, etc) since they understand the reasons it happened. (ie: depression, stress, whatever)
2) the intentional, conscientous (sp?) betrayal of trust.
this should never happen in a close relationship. if it does, and a truly sincere apology is provided, i'd forgive once, but the relationship is heavily damaged and will need a lot more effort to be rebuilt.
But I can't see how someone very close to me could pull a number 2. Only very few people in my life have betrayed my trust to that level; one I thought was a good friend, the other was an okay friend.
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