Michele 1 #26 January 2, 2005 Quotekarma chooses its own agents, but every now and then, you are given the opportunity to observe it's effect... and that is a lesson of another sort....honest mistakes can be forgotten... intentional betrayal cannot... Beautifully stated. Intentional betrayal should never be forgotten, lest one finds themselves on the wrong end of it again. And it's always interesting to watch karma in action... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thijs 0 #27 January 2, 2005 QuoteI find that most of my grudges are based on how people have treated me in the past. It usually takes more than a single incident to trigger my reaction to cut a person or group of people out of my life. I don't want to be around people that make me feel low, so I avoid them. If that is a grudge, what is so bad about that? I just don't have the patience to put up with them anymore, does that make me a bad person? I'm experiencing that right now. I used to hang out a lot with a group, but events over the last year have changed a lot. Some people have done things to me and to others that I just can't forgive, not now or in the close future at least. It's so bad that I do not longer trust the people who have really good intentions and can be trusted. Something inside me says that it will happen all again, and I really don't want to go again trough al that misery. I can't be myself anymore with them. I've changed a lot over the year because of these events, maybe not from the outside but certainly from the inside. Maybe it's time to move on. I think that forgiving someone is really necessary. If someone has done something minor to me (and haven't yet forgive), I get a really weird and strange feeling, bit difficult to say in words, where I know that something isn't right. I tend to keep more distance from that person at that time. Just talking about it and eventually forgiving helps a lot. I can forgive up to a certain level, somethings I just can't. QuoteForgiving oneself is important, too. If we can't fogive ourselves for doing something wrong, then we can't really move on from that place, either. This is something that is really difficult for me. I can rarely forgive myself. I'm pretty hard for myself. Thijs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites bobsled92 0 #28 January 2, 2005 I prefer to forgive those that "want it". My days of rage & vendetta are mostly behind me now. (Gave it up for LENT) THe hard thing is that some don't see who their freinds really are and don't want to be forgiven._______________________________ If I could be a Super Hero, I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year. http://www.hangout.no/speednews/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Yoshi 0 #29 January 2, 2005 I would say I like to forgive. I can only think of one person in my life that I couldnt forgive and probably never will. I know that I have done many things wrong in my life. I have hurt many people. I have done it passively, directly, with intent, and without even knowing. I would hope that those that I have hurt in the past and future are understanding enough to realize that I am human and do/will make mistakes. I hope that they will forgive me. I do, however, also remember those that have hurt me. I give trust really easily. I usually invest most of myself in someone until they do burn me. I am a pretty trusting person, and I also have found that I definately need people to make myself happy. after being burned once then those people have to earn back my trust and faith in them. sometimes its as easy as saying Im sorry, and sometimes it can/will take a whole lot more. -y_________________________________________ this space for rent. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites truckerjean 0 #30 January 3, 2005 I hear you, bro. one time I confessed that if I could get away with murdering a particularly evil person, I would have no regret or remorse in doing the deed. I'm a very forgiving person, but a line can only be crossed so many times. After awhile, even the best of us have a hard time seeing it! It's all about perspective, though, and faith in your God to really make you forgive and trust. In fact, God told me just the other day "don't pet the sweaty stuff", or was it "don't sweat the petty stuff? oh, well,blue skies!can I borrow a jump ticket real quick? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites learndontdie 0 #31 January 3, 2005 I forgive you for putting such a crappy picture on your profile...is that a start? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites flyangel2 2 #32 January 3, 2005 QuoteI forgive you for putting such a crappy picture on your profile...is that a start? Yea, what is that a picture of in his avatar?May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites learndontdie 0 #33 January 3, 2005 Quoteavatar There's that damn "Atari" word again! Is someone stalking me? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites flyangel2 2 #34 January 3, 2005 Not if you look like your avatarMay your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites gordy 0 #35 January 3, 2005 Depends on the severity....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites linny 1 #36 January 3, 2005 Yeah, What you said. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pajarito 0 #37 January 3, 2005 Quotewithout the force of karma nothing is ever learned... karma chooses its own agents, but every now and then, you are given the opportunity to observe it's effect... and that is a lesson of another sort....honest mistakes can be forgotten... intentional betrayal cannot... Have you ever in your life intentionally betrayed someone, however small an incident it may have seemed to be at the time? I have. Now that I'm older (and wiser? ), I'd like to be forgiven for my past mistakes. I agree that trust must be earned and that it’s hard to forgive someone who continually wrongs you, but I’d like to think it possible. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites GARYC24 3 #38 January 3, 2005 Answer to question: Yes. I always like Don Henley's song : Heart of the matter' speaks of 'forgiveness a few times. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Darius11 12 #39 January 3, 2005 Forgiveness depends a lot on who and what you are trying to forgive. If the act was a mistake it is easier to forgive. If it was planed and the person played, or lied to me then it depends what kind of damage they did. If they really fucked me liked hurt a family member or a loved one then they will pay. If they only hurt me, then they will just be dead to me. I might not hold a grudge or seek revenge as I see that as a waist of energy, but I would not piss on fire to help them either.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites unformed 0 #40 January 3, 2005 QuoteQuotewithout the force of karma nothing is ever learned... karma chooses its own agents, but every now and then, you are given the opportunity to observe it's effect... and that is a lesson of another sort....honest mistakes can be forgotten... intentional betrayal cannot... Have you ever in your life intentionally betrayed someone, however small an incident it may have seemed to be at the time? I have. Now that I'm older (and wiser? ), I'd like to be forgiven for my past mistakes. Will you go and sincerely apologize for what you did to the person, and make it absolutely clear that you understand what you did was completely and unforgivably wrong, but you just wanted to apologize for doing that. I have wronged people. I have no problem in apologizing when I do something that is really wrong, BUT I tend not to screw my friends over. EVER. That is the only time I would forgive somebody for something they did. Quote I agree that trust must be earned and that it’s hard to forgive someone who continually wrongs you, but I’d like to think it possible. I beg to differ. Somebody who consistently wrongs you and has never asked for forgiveness thinks nothing of what he has done, and deserves nothing in return. Someone who continuously wrongs you and continuously asks for forgiveness is using your generosity. A true wrong may be done once, not twice. (I'm not talking about minor things, but serious issues.) The thing is, if someone is consistently wronging you, it's going to be on your mind and tearing you up. It would be easier for your own self to simply let that person go.This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites flyhi 24 #41 January 3, 2005 Not well. I wished I was better at it. I think too much of it is tied up in ego, self, and vanity. And I don't even know how to address it. Hopefully some day I will.Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Lindsey 0 #42 January 3, 2005 Quote Forgiveness depends a lot on who and what you are trying to forgive. If the act was a mistake it is easier to forgive. If it was planed and the person played, or lied to me then it depends what kind of damage they did. If they really fucked me liked hurt a family member or a loved one then they will pay. If they only hurt me, then they will just be dead to me. I might not hold a grudge or seek revenge as I see that as a waist of energy, but I would not piss on fire to help them either. You said what I was thinking. I've always been pretty quick to forgive, but when someone hurts (for instance) my child I'm much, much slower to forgive. Even if the inability to forgive only hurts me, I'm not a big enough person to forgive some things.... Peace~ linz-- A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Michele 1 #43 January 4, 2005 QuoteHave you ever in your life intentionally betrayed someone, however small an incident it may have seemed to be at the time? I have. Now that I'm older (and wiser? ), I'd like to be forgiven for my past mistakes. Paj, would you expect that forgiveness if you didn't ask for it, and didn't sincerely apologize? Would you expect a person to just "forgive you" if you didn't make amends? Would you just carry on with that person, hoping silently that they understand you've grown up and changed? Or wouldn't the change manifest itself in your ability to address the issue with that person, and apologize? Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zenister 0 #44 January 4, 2005 QuoteQuotewithout the force of karma nothing is ever learned... karma chooses its own agents, but every now and then, you are given the opportunity to observe it's effect... and that is a lesson of another sort....honest mistakes can be forgotten... intentional betrayal cannot... Have you ever in your life intentionally betrayed someone, however small an incident it may have seemed to be at the time? I have. Now that I'm older (and wiser? ), I'd like to be forgiven for my past mistakes. I agree that trust must be earned and that it’s hard to forgive someone who continually wrongs you, but I’d like to think it possible. No. i havent. I take responsibility for everything i've done, admitted where, when i've made mistakes and try to make amends where, how i can/feel is necessary... wither those i've hurt before (intentionally and not) ‘forgive me’ or not is irrelevant… the entire ‘culture of guilt’ and the religions that are founded on and promote an ‘inherent need for forgiveness’ (particularly for actions I had no part in at all) are not much more than forms of emotional blackmail imo and horrible methods to influence behavior or to become ‘more enlightened’ (or wiser if you prefer).. so no, being ‘forgiven’ doesn’t mean very much to me… its either not an issue, because it never was, or because I don’t care much about what they might think about me in the first…____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pajarito 0 #45 January 4, 2005 QuoteWill you go and sincerely apologize for what you did to the person, and make it absolutely clear that you understand what you did was completely and unforgivably wrong, but you just wanted to apologize for doing that. Yes…I would like to. It’s not possible in many cases, however. QuoteI have wronged people. I have no problem in apologizing when I do something that is really wrong, BUT I tend not to screw my friends over. EVER. Me too. QuoteI beg to differ. Somebody who consistently wrongs you and has never asked for forgiveness thinks nothing of what he has done, and deserves nothing in return. Someone who continuously wrongs you and continuously asks for forgiveness is using your generosity. A true wrong may be done once, not twice. (I'm not talking about minor things, but serious issues.) The thing is, if someone is consistently wronging you, it's going to be on your mind and tearing you up. It would be easier for your own self to simply let that person go. I agree that you might have to just let that person go. I also never meant to imply that you should continually stick your neck out for someone just to have it chopped off. There are many degrees of trust. I’ve been wronged in the past and I have nothing to do with some of those people anymore. It would take me a long time to trust them ever again. However, I forgave them, hoped that they would eventually change their lives, and have moved on. Forgiveness and trust are two different things. Forgiveness can be freely given. Trust must be earned. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 226 #46 January 4, 2005 QuoteNope......If someone burns me. It's over. If it was really bad......it may take the rest of my life but sooner or later.....They'll get whats coming to them. It is however imprtant not to let it eat you. It will if you undertake this in the wrong way. Oh Shit - Um Clay - when are you going to be back in Texas?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pajarito 0 #47 January 4, 2005 QuoteWould you just carry on with that person, hoping silently that they understand you've grown up and changed? Or wouldn't the change manifest itself in your ability to address the issue with that person, and apologize? I don’t always but I have given unsolicited apologies in the past to some who I’ve wronged. It meant much more to me than it did to them. I believe as you stated that the change should manifest itself in the ability to address the issue. It’s not easy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pajarito 0 #48 January 4, 2005 QuoteI take responsibility for everything i've done, admitted where, when i've made mistakes and try to make amends where, how i can/feel is necessary... wither those i've hurt before (intentionally and not) ‘forgive me’ or not is irrelevant… How did you truly make “amends” if their forgiveness was irrelevant? It sounds like from your wording that everything is based on you. That would work if you were the only one in the world that mattered. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites unformed 0 #49 January 4, 2005 QuoteQuoteI take responsibility for everything i've done, admitted where, when i've made mistakes and try to make amends where, how i can/feel is necessary... wither those i've hurt before (intentionally and not) ‘forgive me’ or not is irrelevant… How did you truly make “amends” if their forgiveness was irrelevant? It sounds like from your wording that everything is based on you. That would work if you were the only one in the world that mattered. I understand exactly what he's saying. If I have seriously wronged somebody, I do not expect a forgiveness and am not trying to make amends by any means. I will still apologize, for my own conscience. If the person matters to me to the point that I don't want to break the relationship, I wouldn't have screwed them over in the first place.This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pajarito 0 #50 January 4, 2005 QuoteI understand exactly what he's saying. If I have seriously wronged somebody, I do not expect a forgiveness and am not trying to make amends by any means. I will still apologize, for my own conscience. Ok. I see where he’s coming from. You’re right. I wouldn’t “expect” forgiveness but I would hope that I’d get it. If I still did not, however, there’s nothing more I could do. QuoteIf the person matters to me to the point that I don't want to break the relationship, I wouldn't have screwed them over in the first place. Oh, come on… You’ve “never” hurt “anyone” that you’ve cared about? I have. Sooner or later, everyone will let you down in some form or fashion. Even those you think closest to you. Nobody’s perfect. Forgiveness is all we have. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 Next Page 2 of 3 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. 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bobsled92 0 #28 January 2, 2005 I prefer to forgive those that "want it". My days of rage & vendetta are mostly behind me now. (Gave it up for LENT) THe hard thing is that some don't see who their freinds really are and don't want to be forgiven._______________________________ If I could be a Super Hero, I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year. http://www.hangout.no/speednews/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yoshi 0 #29 January 2, 2005 I would say I like to forgive. I can only think of one person in my life that I couldnt forgive and probably never will. I know that I have done many things wrong in my life. I have hurt many people. I have done it passively, directly, with intent, and without even knowing. I would hope that those that I have hurt in the past and future are understanding enough to realize that I am human and do/will make mistakes. I hope that they will forgive me. I do, however, also remember those that have hurt me. I give trust really easily. I usually invest most of myself in someone until they do burn me. I am a pretty trusting person, and I also have found that I definately need people to make myself happy. after being burned once then those people have to earn back my trust and faith in them. sometimes its as easy as saying Im sorry, and sometimes it can/will take a whole lot more. -y_________________________________________ this space for rent. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
truckerjean 0 #30 January 3, 2005 I hear you, bro. one time I confessed that if I could get away with murdering a particularly evil person, I would have no regret or remorse in doing the deed. I'm a very forgiving person, but a line can only be crossed so many times. After awhile, even the best of us have a hard time seeing it! It's all about perspective, though, and faith in your God to really make you forgive and trust. In fact, God told me just the other day "don't pet the sweaty stuff", or was it "don't sweat the petty stuff? oh, well,blue skies!can I borrow a jump ticket real quick? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
learndontdie 0 #31 January 3, 2005 I forgive you for putting such a crappy picture on your profile...is that a start? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #32 January 3, 2005 QuoteI forgive you for putting such a crappy picture on your profile...is that a start? Yea, what is that a picture of in his avatar?May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
learndontdie 0 #33 January 3, 2005 Quoteavatar There's that damn "Atari" word again! Is someone stalking me? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #34 January 3, 2005 Not if you look like your avatarMay your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gordy 0 #35 January 3, 2005 Depends on the severity....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
linny 1 #36 January 3, 2005 Yeah, What you said. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pajarito 0 #37 January 3, 2005 Quotewithout the force of karma nothing is ever learned... karma chooses its own agents, but every now and then, you are given the opportunity to observe it's effect... and that is a lesson of another sort....honest mistakes can be forgotten... intentional betrayal cannot... Have you ever in your life intentionally betrayed someone, however small an incident it may have seemed to be at the time? I have. Now that I'm older (and wiser? ), I'd like to be forgiven for my past mistakes. I agree that trust must be earned and that it’s hard to forgive someone who continually wrongs you, but I’d like to think it possible. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GARYC24 3 #38 January 3, 2005 Answer to question: Yes. I always like Don Henley's song : Heart of the matter' speaks of 'forgiveness a few times. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #39 January 3, 2005 Forgiveness depends a lot on who and what you are trying to forgive. If the act was a mistake it is easier to forgive. If it was planed and the person played, or lied to me then it depends what kind of damage they did. If they really fucked me liked hurt a family member or a loved one then they will pay. If they only hurt me, then they will just be dead to me. I might not hold a grudge or seek revenge as I see that as a waist of energy, but I would not piss on fire to help them either.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #40 January 3, 2005 QuoteQuotewithout the force of karma nothing is ever learned... karma chooses its own agents, but every now and then, you are given the opportunity to observe it's effect... and that is a lesson of another sort....honest mistakes can be forgotten... intentional betrayal cannot... Have you ever in your life intentionally betrayed someone, however small an incident it may have seemed to be at the time? I have. Now that I'm older (and wiser? ), I'd like to be forgiven for my past mistakes. Will you go and sincerely apologize for what you did to the person, and make it absolutely clear that you understand what you did was completely and unforgivably wrong, but you just wanted to apologize for doing that. I have wronged people. I have no problem in apologizing when I do something that is really wrong, BUT I tend not to screw my friends over. EVER. That is the only time I would forgive somebody for something they did. Quote I agree that trust must be earned and that it’s hard to forgive someone who continually wrongs you, but I’d like to think it possible. I beg to differ. Somebody who consistently wrongs you and has never asked for forgiveness thinks nothing of what he has done, and deserves nothing in return. Someone who continuously wrongs you and continuously asks for forgiveness is using your generosity. A true wrong may be done once, not twice. (I'm not talking about minor things, but serious issues.) The thing is, if someone is consistently wronging you, it's going to be on your mind and tearing you up. It would be easier for your own self to simply let that person go.This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyhi 24 #41 January 3, 2005 Not well. I wished I was better at it. I think too much of it is tied up in ego, self, and vanity. And I don't even know how to address it. Hopefully some day I will.Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsey 0 #42 January 3, 2005 Quote Forgiveness depends a lot on who and what you are trying to forgive. If the act was a mistake it is easier to forgive. If it was planed and the person played, or lied to me then it depends what kind of damage they did. If they really fucked me liked hurt a family member or a loved one then they will pay. If they only hurt me, then they will just be dead to me. I might not hold a grudge or seek revenge as I see that as a waist of energy, but I would not piss on fire to help them either. You said what I was thinking. I've always been pretty quick to forgive, but when someone hurts (for instance) my child I'm much, much slower to forgive. Even if the inability to forgive only hurts me, I'm not a big enough person to forgive some things.... Peace~ linz-- A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #43 January 4, 2005 QuoteHave you ever in your life intentionally betrayed someone, however small an incident it may have seemed to be at the time? I have. Now that I'm older (and wiser? ), I'd like to be forgiven for my past mistakes. Paj, would you expect that forgiveness if you didn't ask for it, and didn't sincerely apologize? Would you expect a person to just "forgive you" if you didn't make amends? Would you just carry on with that person, hoping silently that they understand you've grown up and changed? Or wouldn't the change manifest itself in your ability to address the issue with that person, and apologize? Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #44 January 4, 2005 QuoteQuotewithout the force of karma nothing is ever learned... karma chooses its own agents, but every now and then, you are given the opportunity to observe it's effect... and that is a lesson of another sort....honest mistakes can be forgotten... intentional betrayal cannot... Have you ever in your life intentionally betrayed someone, however small an incident it may have seemed to be at the time? I have. Now that I'm older (and wiser? ), I'd like to be forgiven for my past mistakes. I agree that trust must be earned and that it’s hard to forgive someone who continually wrongs you, but I’d like to think it possible. No. i havent. I take responsibility for everything i've done, admitted where, when i've made mistakes and try to make amends where, how i can/feel is necessary... wither those i've hurt before (intentionally and not) ‘forgive me’ or not is irrelevant… the entire ‘culture of guilt’ and the religions that are founded on and promote an ‘inherent need for forgiveness’ (particularly for actions I had no part in at all) are not much more than forms of emotional blackmail imo and horrible methods to influence behavior or to become ‘more enlightened’ (or wiser if you prefer).. so no, being ‘forgiven’ doesn’t mean very much to me… its either not an issue, because it never was, or because I don’t care much about what they might think about me in the first…____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pajarito 0 #45 January 4, 2005 QuoteWill you go and sincerely apologize for what you did to the person, and make it absolutely clear that you understand what you did was completely and unforgivably wrong, but you just wanted to apologize for doing that. Yes…I would like to. It’s not possible in many cases, however. QuoteI have wronged people. I have no problem in apologizing when I do something that is really wrong, BUT I tend not to screw my friends over. EVER. Me too. QuoteI beg to differ. Somebody who consistently wrongs you and has never asked for forgiveness thinks nothing of what he has done, and deserves nothing in return. Someone who continuously wrongs you and continuously asks for forgiveness is using your generosity. A true wrong may be done once, not twice. (I'm not talking about minor things, but serious issues.) The thing is, if someone is consistently wronging you, it's going to be on your mind and tearing you up. It would be easier for your own self to simply let that person go. I agree that you might have to just let that person go. I also never meant to imply that you should continually stick your neck out for someone just to have it chopped off. There are many degrees of trust. I’ve been wronged in the past and I have nothing to do with some of those people anymore. It would take me a long time to trust them ever again. However, I forgave them, hoped that they would eventually change their lives, and have moved on. Forgiveness and trust are two different things. Forgiveness can be freely given. Trust must be earned. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #46 January 4, 2005 QuoteNope......If someone burns me. It's over. If it was really bad......it may take the rest of my life but sooner or later.....They'll get whats coming to them. It is however imprtant not to let it eat you. It will if you undertake this in the wrong way. Oh Shit - Um Clay - when are you going to be back in Texas?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pajarito 0 #47 January 4, 2005 QuoteWould you just carry on with that person, hoping silently that they understand you've grown up and changed? Or wouldn't the change manifest itself in your ability to address the issue with that person, and apologize? I don’t always but I have given unsolicited apologies in the past to some who I’ve wronged. It meant much more to me than it did to them. I believe as you stated that the change should manifest itself in the ability to address the issue. It’s not easy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pajarito 0 #48 January 4, 2005 QuoteI take responsibility for everything i've done, admitted where, when i've made mistakes and try to make amends where, how i can/feel is necessary... wither those i've hurt before (intentionally and not) ‘forgive me’ or not is irrelevant… How did you truly make “amends” if their forgiveness was irrelevant? It sounds like from your wording that everything is based on you. That would work if you were the only one in the world that mattered. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #49 January 4, 2005 QuoteQuoteI take responsibility for everything i've done, admitted where, when i've made mistakes and try to make amends where, how i can/feel is necessary... wither those i've hurt before (intentionally and not) ‘forgive me’ or not is irrelevant… How did you truly make “amends” if their forgiveness was irrelevant? It sounds like from your wording that everything is based on you. That would work if you were the only one in the world that mattered. I understand exactly what he's saying. If I have seriously wronged somebody, I do not expect a forgiveness and am not trying to make amends by any means. I will still apologize, for my own conscience. If the person matters to me to the point that I don't want to break the relationship, I wouldn't have screwed them over in the first place.This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pajarito 0 #50 January 4, 2005 QuoteI understand exactly what he's saying. If I have seriously wronged somebody, I do not expect a forgiveness and am not trying to make amends by any means. I will still apologize, for my own conscience. Ok. I see where he’s coming from. You’re right. I wouldn’t “expect” forgiveness but I would hope that I’d get it. If I still did not, however, there’s nothing more I could do. QuoteIf the person matters to me to the point that I don't want to break the relationship, I wouldn't have screwed them over in the first place. Oh, come on… You’ve “never” hurt “anyone” that you’ve cared about? I have. Sooner or later, everyone will let you down in some form or fashion. Even those you think closest to you. Nobody’s perfect. Forgiveness is all we have. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
