Swearing At Work

[sharimcm 0]

I wasn't going to post this, but I think it's too funny not to.

Dear Employees,

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative “TRY SAYING’ phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.



INSTEAD OF

You don’t know that the f___ you’re doing.

TRY SAYING

I think you could use more training.



INSTEAD OF

She’s a ball-busting b_tch

TRY SAYING

She’s an aggressive go-getter.



INSTEAD OF

And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING

Perhaps I can work late.



INSTEAD OF

No f___ing way.

TRY SAYING

I’m certain that isn’t feasible.



INSTEAD OF

You’ve got to be sh_tting me!

TRY SAYING

Really?



INSTEAD OF

Tell someone who gives a sh_t.

TRY SAYING

Perhaps you should check with…



INSTEAD OF

It’s not my f___ing problem.

TRY SAYING

I wasn’t involved in the project.



INSTEAD OF

What the f___?

TRY SAYING

That’s interesting.



INSTEAD OF

This sh__ won’t work.

TRY SAYING

I’m not sure this can be implemented.



INSTEAD OF

Why the f___ didn’t you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING

I’ll try to schedule that.



INSTEAD OF

He’s got his head up his a__.

TRY SAYING

He’s not familiar with the issues.



INSTEAD OF

Kiss my a__.

TRY SAYING

So, you weren’t happy with it?



INSTEAD OF

F___ it, I’m on salary.

TRY SAYING

I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.



INSTEAD OF

Shove it up you’re a__!

TRY SAYING

I don’t think you understand.



INSTEAD OF

This job sucks.

TRY SAYING

I love a good challenge.


INSTEAD OF

Who the f___ died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING

You want me to take care of that?



INSTEAD OF

He’s a pr_ck.

TRY SAYING

He’s somewhat insensitive.



Thank you for your cooperation,

Human Resources

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

[waltappel 1]

I’ll try to schedule that.

Walt

[TheAnvil 0]

I've seen this before and love it. I think i'm going to give this to my boss, actually. LMFAO.

Vinny the Anvil
Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL
JACKASS POWER!!!!!!