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hobbes4star

Monday Funny

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A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25
years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of
the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give
a little speech at the dinner.

He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words
while they waited. "I got my first impression of the parish
from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been
assigned to a terrible place. The very first person to enter
my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and,
when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of
it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his
employer, had an affair with his boss' wife, taken illegal
drugs and he had given VD to his sister.

I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people
were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine
parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived
full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make
the presentation and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the
first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician.
"In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him
in confession."
if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?

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Pastor's Ass
A pastor wanted to raise money for his church and, on being told there was a fortune in horse racing, decided
to buy one and enter it in the races.

However, at the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.
He thought that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and entered it in the race and, much to his surprise, the donkey came in third.

The next day the local paper carried this headline:
PASTOR'S ASS SHOWS
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won.
The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars.
The next day, the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
Headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE
The Bishop was buried the next day!
Zing Lurks

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