yardhippie 0 #1 August 10, 2006 Holy fucking shit on a stick! WTF is the deal with deaf bastards (no offense Billy), and having to turn you goddam ringer volume all the way up?! Then you leave you cube and fail to send your calls to your VM! I think FUCK A MONKEY! It takes two buttons! TWO! and all of .5 seconds. But wait theres more! Not only are you completely inconsiderate of EVERYONE else cubin it by having your phone louder than the normal persons' speaking voice, you have to have a CUSTOM ring! So that EVERYONE can hear what a jackass you are! All that for 19.95 Bob? and WOW, theres more! yes folks now you can use the SPEAKERPHONE! Yes that fucknugget accross the building has to use the loudest setting on SPEAKERPHONE so you actually have to talk louder on a normal phone conversation. I leaving a PC nasty note today. Asshat! Fucking shitty cocksucker turd burgler! [/rant] ahhhh. thats better.Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #2 August 10, 2006 Ruh Roh, Raggy! "Turd burglar" was funny though! Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #3 August 10, 2006 You could spare us all the drama and just ask the man to turn his phone down. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tmaricle55 0 #4 August 10, 2006 Of course the best is when it is the S.O. and after ALL that the cell phone sitting on the desk starts ringing some sort of "hat dance". Of course the PDA that "SINGS" every time you get an email is another LOVELY sound. VIBRATE PEOPLE - get your thrills at work!! Muff Brother # 3883, SCR # 14796 ICD # 1 - Pres. Yeah, I noticed and I think it's funny! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #5 August 10, 2006 Speaking of turds. Since he has that custom ring and makes SO much noise you should know when he is out of the office. This MAY be a job for.......... THE PHANTOM SHITTER!!!!! Oh and leave a nice note on top of the turd in his desk drawer asking him to turn all that crap down. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #6 August 10, 2006 Tell us how you really feel! BTW Chaos... nice hat! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydemon2 0 #7 August 10, 2006 Then we would miss out on all of this......Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #8 August 10, 2006 Thanks! But thats actually Hippie's hat! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #9 August 10, 2006 QuoteYou could spare us all the drama and just ask the man to turn his phone down. thats just the problem. I know for a fact the request has been made before. he then gets all offended like someone stole his stapler or something. this guy is wierd. I know Im 'kettle' here, but this guy is WIERD! I like my hat too.Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #10 August 10, 2006 Quotethats just the problem. I know for a fact the request has been made before. he then gets all offended like someone stole his stapler or something. All the more reason for the Phantom Shitter to show up! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hambone 0 #11 August 10, 2006 There are financing people that are in the end of the cube land and they have windows that look into cube land and every time i get up to get anytthing they are staring at me. What a wierd little guy. Oh the speaker phone thin i totally feel you on there is this shitass that has an office next to my cube and talks loud as hell, he closes the door and i still know exactly what is going on in his life. Its quite possibly the most annoying thing ever. stupid ass...UGH. (rant done) Kitty thanks for the floaties! you rock!Yeah...You need to grow up. -Skymama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #12 August 10, 2006 Sounds like a job for Super Fucker! Turn the volume all way up on his computer speakers, and super glue them there. Super Glue the volume setting on their phone at the level you would like it to be - or off entirely and then super glue it there. Super glue the hook switch down so that his phone doesn't work anymore. Then call him. Super glue the caps lock key in the "on" mode. Superglue one of those cheap alarm clocks under his desk, set it for LOUD and set it to chime every hour, and then go off at whatever time he is upposed to be there. That way, if he's ever late - Someone will know. That's all Super Fucker has for now.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #13 August 10, 2006 That's ALMOST as good as the Phantom Shitter. But not quite. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #14 August 10, 2006 QuoteThat's ALMOST as good as the Phantom Shitter. But not quite. But they probably won't get you fired if you get caught either.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #15 August 10, 2006 QuoteSounds like a job for Super Fucker! Turn the volume all way up on his computer speakers, and super glue them there. we've got docking stations for laptops, no speakers. Super Glue the volume setting on their phone at the level you would like it to be - or off entirely and then super glue it there. Just might work, but then he'd complain and have a new phone in a day. Super glue the hook switch down so that his phone doesn't work anymore. Then call him. I'd be funny to see him try and get his voicemails. (an indicator light comes on when you get a message) Super glue the caps lock key in the "on" mode. laptops... Superglue one of those cheap alarm clocks under his desk, set it for LOUD and set it to chime every hour, and then go off at whatever time he is upposed to be there. That way, if he's ever late - Someone will know. This I likey. Could be most amusing. That's all Super Fucker has for now.Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlmiracle 7 #16 August 10, 2006 Quotehe then gets all offended like someone stole his stapler or something. Then go take his stapler. That's what I did to a guy I work with, of course, he eventually quit - thank heaven, he was really loud and full of shit. Trust me, I work with the loudest rudest most offensive m-fer on the planet and everyone keeps telling me its because he is ignorant. That excuse is getting really old. Bud Light even made a commercial about this guy - Really loud cell phone talker guy. I may freak out some day on him. For now, I take alot of walks. jBe kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #17 August 10, 2006 Yea this guy really rubs people the wrong way. Came from one of the companies we aquired. His job is actually a grade lower than mine and he thinks he can tell others in my job how things are. No wonder he dont get much help.Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpchikk 0 #18 August 10, 2006 Do not get me started on this subject. Every single work day I have a rant about this woman that works in this firm...When I die and come back...I want to come back as her because she doesn't do ANYTHING and gets paid more than some of the attorneys here!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hambone 0 #19 August 10, 2006 Whats her job and how can i sign up for it!? Hammy likey money...Yeah...You need to grow up. -Skymama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #20 August 10, 2006 QuoteWhats her job and how can i sign up for it!? Hammy likey money... Hammy? Like as in this Hammy?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hambone 0 #21 August 10, 2006 Like as int this hammy in the picture. Did i mention that the guy that annoys me walks really hard and has zero tact...ugh...what a douche.Yeah...You need to grow up. -Skymama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littleskycrab 0 #22 August 10, 2006 Damn, you must work for the same firm as me. We call her extra tall blonde self "Minnie mouse on steroids". Everytime she opens her mouth and that squeeky ass voice comes out, I want to pull a plastic bag over her head!Next time a sunrise steals your breath or a meadow of flowers leaves you speechless, remain that way. Say nothing and listen as heaven whispers, "Do you like it? I did it just for you." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #23 August 10, 2006 QuoteThanks! But thats actually Hippie's hat! ______________________________ It still, looks damned good on you! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
klr 0 #24 August 10, 2006 HI, yeah this is a common one, along with mr I-don't-have-a-hygiene-problem. Heres a few I've used over the years. Not answering phone. Firstly whenever he leaves his desk & his phone rings - start taking it apart. If he doesn't get the message, bring in a soldering iron & really go to town on it. Spread the pieces out in a neat line. This one worked fine for me a few years ago. Put pepper spray or ammonia on the ear piece of his phone or on his keyboard. If you can't get them get a jalpeno pepper and used that instead. If he insists on answering on speakerphone - get one of your friends to ring him along the lines of : 'hi this is skip from the clinic, we really need to talk about that rash you picked up in bangkok' ... or 'hey Mr five dollar, why you no call round no more ?' Does he chew his pen or pencil ? If he does, take his favourite one, get a disposable camera, retire to a quiet location, put the pen where the sun don't shine and take a picture - leave the picture on his desk about a week later or email it to him from a duff account. That one works great with a toothbrush. Theres the old favourite about putting a dead fish in the back of his monitor but if you sit near him ... that one kinda backfires. That should get ya started ! rgds klr 'I came into this world kicking and screaming and covered in somebody elses blood, I plan to leave it the same way.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slug 1 #25 August 11, 2006 Mass quantities of car air freshners (xmas tree look alikes) taped to the bottom of their chair, desk etc.. Smell what smell. Don't wanna answer the phone ? change their phone # to their bossesR.I.P. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
