Where would you draw the line?

[mailin 0]

I have a person in my life that I love dearly. She is a very dependent person - she can't make decisions for herself, she relies on other people to help her in almost every aspect of her life. She is on disability with no real reliable way to make money, she is just not capable of it, unfortunately. The person that has the most influence on her life right now is her husband, and he is a violent, extremely bad influence on her and her life.

I've tried numerous time to get her away from him and she always goes back. She has left him again, and the way she is approaching the situation is different than the others - so much so that it gives me hope she will finally do it!

She is in a situation now that makes me so sad for her. She is on her way to a half-way house. My husband told me that she has burned her bridge with us and can't stay with us again - and while I agree with him, I feel so bad for her. I want to do more but where do I draw the line?

What would you do?


Jen

Arianna Frances

[lisamariewillbe 1]

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What would you do?

Id not go against your husband, maybe come to an agreement with him that if she stays in the half way house for so much time and proves it is different this time then maybe give it a go and let her come to you. You have your own family to take care of, dont let anyone get in the way of that.

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[mailin 0]

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come to an agreement with him that if she stays in the half way house for so much time and proves it is different this time then maybe give it a go and let her come to you.

This is a good idea. The type of home she is staying in is for people with disabilities, if she leaves she may lose the ability to go back (they'll give up her 'spot')... I'd feel twice as bad if after she left us she had no where to go... I wish there was more I could do, I hate feeling helpless

Arianna Frances

[turtlespeed 226]

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Where would you draw the line ?

In The Sand.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[lisamariewillbe 1]

Jen, it is not your job to take care of the world. You can only do so much. You can continue to be there for moral support, take her to lunch and visit her at the home. However think of what toll this could take on everyone in your house, including you. If she really wants to break away from her marriage she will, and half way houses arent so bad.

Your not helpless, you will still be her friend through the hard times and you can still help her. She does not have to live with you to get your support

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[wmw999 2,589]

The halfway house might be a really good place for her for awhile. They should assess her capabilities, and help her find somewhere that she can live in the long run.

You can provide friendship and emotional support, and maybe talk to the halfway house people if she needs you to.

But she will be proudest of what she achieves on her own, and the more you do for her, the less she's doing on her own. You're a good friend.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)