MagicGuy 0 #1 August 20, 2006 Hopefully I got your attention, because something has been bothering me and I need to know if I'm an asshole for thinking this way or if I have the right to be annoyed. I've been living with two of my close friends for about 4, almost 5 months now. We just upgraded from our 3 bedroom apartment in the 'ghetto', to a nice, 3 bedroom house in a nice neighborhood. Going from the apartment to the house was supposed to be a good thing, but I am completely stressed out beyond belief. The whole agreement even when I moved into the apartment was 1.) To have the money for rent and bills. 2.) Said money is on time and 3.) Help out with shit to do around the house. Everything was going great. Now this whole house idea comes into play. I was away in Miami and I come back to "we're getting a house, dude. You're gonna need $700 in a month for the house". So first off, I didn't see any house, the house was looked at while I was gone and decided on that we are getting it. Oh and rooms were already selected, myself getting the smallest room. No input came from me, a tennant that is paying the same amount of money as everyone else living in the house. OK, whatever, I guess I can understand that houses for rent don't come around very often. It was a good deal, a nice house, and they wanted to jump on it. "OK". Everything's cool, I have the money and everything for the house. Then I get some more 'great news'. "Oh yeah, we're gonna be buying a new couch, a new kitchen set, a new grill, new patio furniture and 5 new air conditions". What the fuck?!? Where is all this money coming from? Cause I know damn right well it's not coming from me. We don't need new couches, a new kitchen set, 5 air conditions or patio furniture. I have a couch, a kitchen set and an air conditioner of my own. I offered these up for the table so new stuff wouldn't have to be bought. And what happens? They don't want anything to do with what I have to offer, and instead insist on new shit and insist that I be an even contributor to the bill. So, my question is, am I an asshole for not wanting to contribute towards these purchases? I mean, as far as I'm concerned, the agreement was and still should be that I have the rent/bills money on time and that I help with shit around the house. NOT have hundreds of dollars ready to be spending on all new, expensive, unnecessary things. A few other things to keep in mind here. The two dudes that I live with are BROTHERS. I move out, they keep all the shit, I get the shaft. One of them had the nerve to say "Consider it like you're renting the furniture". Ha!! I feel like I'm being bullied into a corner here. They're bitching at me saying that I use their shit like the couches they have now, the tv that's set up in the living room, but they don't use any of my stuff because I "don't have anything to put on the table". Then they call me self absorbed because I'd rather spend my money on skydiving and "living a fairytale life" instead of putting money towards items that THEY WANT. They gave me three options: 1.) I become a 'member of the community' and contribute towards these purchases. 2.) I don't use the new things that they buy, and I basically live in my room. 3.) I give them two months notice that I'm moving out. So, tell me, am I a prick or do I have the right to stand my ground here? It's really bugging me... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #2 August 20, 2006 From what I understand they cant change the terms of the contract on you without your permission. What does the lease say? They cant banish you to your room, that interferres with your rights to quiet enjoyment.... Wheres Lawrocket? edit - to answer the question, they are the assholes, not youSudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sartre 0 #3 August 20, 2006 I don't think this is going to get better between the three of you. I'd bail sooner rather than later, before it gets really ugly. I don't think you should need to give them more than 30 days' notice, either. Unless you have some other agreement in writing. They sound resentful and jealous, and who wants to live in that kind of environment anyway? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
irisheyes 0 #4 August 20, 2006 Don't think you qualify for that title! Sand your ground. Stay if you want or better yet, if you are not on the lease, find a place on your own. Even if it is a studio, you get to make all the decisions on your own. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #5 August 20, 2006 What the hell? If they want all new items the let them buy the stuff. You agreed to rent a room and help with the house hold duties. If they are like this now you should back out well you can.TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samurai136 0 #6 August 20, 2006 If you were an asshole you would demand your "rent" be pro-rated to the square footage of living space they're letting you live in. I would move out. Your 'friends' are assholes. If they have money for "lifestyle" upgrades, they have enough to cover your portion of 'rent'. Move on. Why do they need 2 months notice? "Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian Ken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Twoply 0 #7 August 20, 2006 I'd have to leave as well. Being brothers, you're the odd guy out no matter how tight you are with either one. Just say you can't afford it. It's not a lie, it's just that you'd rather spend your money on having fun and making memories instead of buying things that tie you down. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aprilcat 0 #8 August 20, 2006 Stay in your ghetto apartment with your stuff and get NEW roommates. I'm not sure if what you mean by 'brothers' are siblings or black brothers, but you don't have to move with them if you don't want to. Oh God if I had to live with my siblings. Wait. I did. We were called 'children'. *hint*hint* Good luck~~April P.S. You are not an asshole. Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MagicGuy 0 #9 August 20, 2006 I hate to say it because they are my friends, but I, too, think that they are resentful and jealous. And I really do hate to say that, because me calling someone else jealous kind of makes me look arrogant. But I really feel that they have this animosity towards me out of jealousy. I get a royalty check every month for a magic trick that I invented and market through a company. It's usually a pretty decent amount of cash, and my roommates know about this. They call me "lucky", "You get money for free every month!". Like I did absolutely nothing to deserve or receive the money. And in so, they assume that I have all of this extra cas, just laying around and "Hey, since he's got all this money, let's try to sucker him into buying stuff". And, because I want to spend my money on things like skydiving on the weekends and the expenses that come with the sport, I am irresponsible and self-absorbed. That's the vibe that I am getting. I could be wrong... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MagicGuy 0 #10 August 20, 2006 Oh by the way, I signed NO lease. The only agreements were by word. "Basically man, just have the money for the rent and bills on time, help with shit around the house, and that's all we are asking". And the two months thing? Just something the older brother said because they need time to find a roommate. And by brothers I mean that my two roommates are siblings, and I'm "best" friends with the younger brother. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aprilcat 0 #11 August 20, 2006 So, where do you live now? Are you in the old apartment or the new house? If you're in the old apartment and can prove residency (mail in your name, rent receipts) you can take over the lease and get new roommates.~~April Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samurai136 0 #12 August 20, 2006 QuoteOh by the way, I signed NO lease. The only agreements were by word. "Basically man, just have the money for the rent and bills on time, help with shit around the house, and that's all we are asking". And the two months thing? Just something the older brother said because they need time to find a roommate. And by brothers I mean that my two roommates are siblings, and I'm "best" friends with the younger brother. Awesome bargining position. They need to wake up. I would tell them the date you are moving out. Living alone is far better than having roommates."Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian Ken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sartre 0 #13 August 20, 2006 Well, if they're throwing phrases at you like "fairy tale life", it certainly sounds like they think life is unfairly slanted in your direction. My concern with the 60 days' notice would be that they will wind up finding another roommate sooner than that, and expect you to get out without much notice. You, in turn, would be in a bind because you have no place to move into. I think you should be fair about it all, and rise above any petty crap, but you certainly don't need to be walked on either. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MagicGuy 0 #14 August 20, 2006 We just moved into the new house today. They bought a new couch the other day, I gave them no money towards it. Today the brother says he needs to talk to me, and asks me where I get off thinking that I shouldn't have to give them money towards these 'community' purchases. That's when I was called self-absorbed and given the 3 options. I don't think they realize that they need me. I can move the fuck out tomorrow if I have to and not have to deal with a damn thing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MagicGuy 0 #15 August 20, 2006 QuoteWell, if they're throwing phrases at you like "fairy tale life", it certainly sounds like they think life is unfairly slanted in your direction. Yeah, but the reason that they think this is because I get "free money" every month and therefore can do/buy things that I want to. They only have their 40 hour job income to live on, and therefore think that I have a fairytale life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samurai136 0 #16 August 20, 2006 Quote I don't think they realize that they need me. I can move the fuck out tomorrow if I have to and not have to deal with a damn thing. EXACTLY. Tell them where the buck stops and walk out. Do not accept life on "their" terms."Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian Ken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #17 August 20, 2006 QuoteToday the brother says he needs to talk to me, and asks me where I get off thinking that I shouldn't have to give them money towards these 'community' purchases. That's when I was called self-absorbed and given the 3 options. Ask them if they're willing to put aside the amount you are expected to pay towards the purchase, so that you can get your equity out when you move. That will either shut them up, or it will force their hand. Or they can give you the items when you move. Their choice. If they're looking to ride on your coat tails, let them invent something, copyright it, and then market it. LOL...and it's not free cash; you earned it. You're not being an asshole...but they sure are doing their fair bit towards being one themselves. It might be time to consider leaving. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aprilcat 0 #18 August 20, 2006 I'd leave. You didn't even get to pick the house OR the new furniture and you are self absorbed? Look at your sig line and make them disappear. A wife wouldn't try pulling this~~April Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Twoply 0 #19 August 20, 2006 "Tell them where the buck stops and walk out. Do not accept life on "their" terms." That hits the nail on the head. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #20 August 20, 2006 Get a few guns and start cleaning them on the new table. That should do it. Develope a crazed look in your eyes. No not that look, crazier. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #21 August 20, 2006 When people ask "Am I and asshole?" They usually do not like the answer. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,488 #22 August 20, 2006 We're only getting one side of the story here, but it really doesn't matter. If what you're saying is half true, the part that is most disconcerting is your "best" friend, 1) if so, then he should be the mediator, but sounds like he's sided with his brother, 2) you need to realize that he will be his brother for life and that's a stronger bond than friendship. They may have assumed that things would always be the way they were... Band of brothers and all. But, you're changing, growing, learning new things, etc. Your goals are different than theirs and that's changing the relationship. Previous assumptions about the relationship no longer apply. The real question here is not whether you're an asshole. The real question is, "Are yours and their goals disparate enough that it's time for you to move on?" Which I think you've answered. QuoteI can move the fuck out tomorrow if I have to and not have to deal with a damn thing. If that's the case, then how you handle it will determine if they remain your friends or not.Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matt1215 0 #23 August 20, 2006 Quote<<>> I think you answered your own question. Sometimes you need to be an asshole to preserve your own self-interest. To stop getting fucked in the ass with sandy vaseline. Moving in with no lease implies no obligation to continue with this arrangement. If you've already contributed your aforementioned $700, I'd demand it back, citing that you need it to remedy an intolerable arrangement. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MagicGuy 0 #24 August 20, 2006 QuoteGet a few guns and start cleaning them on the new table. That should do it. Develope a crazed look in your eyes. No not that look, crazier. We all own firearms so that won't be anything out of the ordinary Thanks for all of the input, guys. Very much appreciated as always! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #25 August 20, 2006 To some degree your AGE and the ages of your friends factor in...For many men their first apts, or places to live ( after they got chucked out of their parents place,,) tend to take on a dorm or frat house style, especially if there are 3, 4 or 5 roommates... Whats best for everyone, is self sufficiency.. If you're getting on into your 20's it could be time to find a nice One person apartment... keep it nearby to friends, places of employment, and places you like to frequent..... But have the apartment, to return to, find peace and quiet, Or else ROCK the rafters,,, with your choice of music.. Sit on your own couch... with a grin... Your Pals.. "wally and the beave" were inconsiderate to you in the planning stages,, and rude to simply "announce to you " the changes..... .......I am one of 4 brothers born within 5 years of one another,,, ALL Italian,,,hahahaha and with strong bonds. But we sure couldn't live together..... Beware of those brothers who can. Sounds like the vote will often be 2 to 1 against you and that will damage the friendship you have with the one Bro'..... Save the friendship, get your own place. Live Cheap... if you have to,, select a place you can afford,,, and not just a place you WANT..... good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
