Need some help from the Reverends...

[lawrocket 3]

I have been honored by a request from my best friend - he and his wife would like me to officiate their wedding.

I've only been married once, and it was a one minute ceremony at the county clerk's office. I am wondering, "How does one officiate a wedding?"

I've still got six weeks before this to plan it out, but I could certainly use some help on this front.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[masterrig 1]

Maybe, visit with a priest or minister or Rabi and ask for some pointers. If, the couple wants 'simple', ask a JP.


Chuck

[lawrocket 3]

This won't be a religious one. But, I know that clerics tend to do more weddings that most...

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[BIGUN 1,521]

PM steveorino.
He's a non-denominational minister who performs civil ceremonies all the time - At DZ's even.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[guppie01 0]

Ha, I was recently asked the same... I was so honored and shocked at the request - this couple are amazing to me! It's one of those moments when you realize how blessed you are by the beautiful people in your life!!!

I have till October, but I want to make it the best for the couple without being intrusive on how they want their ceremony. I received only one request from the groom - to laugh!
Good luck with yours!!!!

xoxo g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[lawrocket 3]

I've learned more about CA's "Deputy for a Day" program that will allow me to do it. I'll give you an After Action Review of it so you know what to watch out for.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[NWFlyer 2]

I'd say your most important thing is to talk to the couple and see what they want. I attended a wedding last summer where a friend of the couple did the officiating (and this was not a "normal" role for him). It was apparent to all of us attending that he'd spent a lot of time talking to the two of them about what they wanted in the ceremony ... and their personality as individuals and their personality as a couple really came through in his words.

Have fun with it, too! What cool opportunity.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[jdthomas 0]

I have done several weddings here in kansas and Missouri.
You can get info on line about what words you might use or how ceremonys can be held.. as far as legal issues, well you are the lawyer i am sure you know how to research that.
kansas is crazy with the laws or rules of marriage. you can be married just by annoucing it in a public setting and it's as simple as introducing your S/O as your husband or wife and thats it your married.
Any Tax paying person can conduct a wedding in most states!
Joe

www.greenboxphotography.com

[livendive 8]

Quote

Ha, I was recently asked the same...

Funny how it sounded when you said he'd just asked you to marry him.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[sd-slider 0]

Only thing you have to worry about is getting the paperwork correct.

The rest is easy.

Remember, if you do it right, nobody will remember, if you screw it up, nobody will EVER forget!
.
.

Anvil Brother #69

Sidelined with a 5mm C5-C6 herniated disk...
Back2Back slammers and 40yr old fat guys don't mix!

[lisamariewillbe 1]

Quote

nobody will EVER forget!

EXACTLY lol

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[lawrocket 3]

Well, the thing went well. I was shocked at how nervous I was for it. The whole weekend was busy. (This was the first time in three years that my wife and I missed two straight days from work - Friday and Monday - in three years). Rehearsal was Friday afternoon and rehearsal dinner that afternoon. Golf tournament on Saturday morning. Wedding on Sunday at 5:30 p.m.

The location was ideal - a golf course in Palos Verdes. 3:00 was photographs and other set up. 4:00 was when I purchased the first pitchers of beer. I did it to calm the nerves of those involved - mainly myself. Others thought I looked so relaxed and on top of things that when I admitted afterwards that I went to the bathroom beforehand because I was worried I was gonna throw up, they smirked somewhat until they realized that I was not joking.

About 20 people from my law school were there. My best friend was the groom. My other best friend - Cisco - was one of his best men. I have a bit of a reputation for being an oddball, and numerous people were apparently interested in seeing what kind of a wedding it would be with me officiating. They were all expecting to be laughing and to say to those who did not know me, "Folks. Say hello to Jerry." I even gave everyone involved the warning - there may be some fun afoot.

My real thoughts? This is a wedding. This is the bride's day first, the groom's day second, and the parents' day third. The ceremony is theirs, not mine, and weddings are serious events. Jovial and happy? Yes. But a wedding ceremony is sure as hell no laughing matter. At least to me.

I was thoughtful enough to coordinate for good weather, and nature delivered a sunny 75 degrees at wedding time. However, she forgot to include some stray clouds, which drstically altered my plan at the time of wedding. The sun was at my back and roughly ten degrees above my right shoulder from the crowd. When I saw the groom's father looking down since the sun was so bright, my thought then became, "Let's make this short."

Start to finish on the ceremony was less than 10 minutes. I could have sai something about love, marriage, etc. I could have gone on. I did not. I didn't want to tell people about my ideas of these things. They can think about it on their own. I was not a preacher giving a sermon. I was a Deputy Commissioner of Marriages with the sole duty of making sure the wedding was legal, and the ancillary duty of ensuring the ceremony went smoothly and in accordance with the wishes of the bride. Yes, bride. It's HER day, not mine.

Afterwards, the groom complimented me because he was surprised - he was proud that his wedding was the least pretentious event he'd ever attended. The cameraman told me that the day before, the officiant turned the ceremony into a 40 minute borefest. The coordinator told me I was the second person she's dealt with in her career who was performing his first wedding. I guess I dundiddit all right.

I got teary and almost lost it when I saw Nancy look at Johan as I announced, "The vows have been stated. Family and friends, we will now witness the wedding of Johan and Nancy." At that moment, officiating that wedding became the greatest honor I ever received. It was about their trust in me to make it a wonderful day.

My only regret was that my wife wasn't there to see it. She was worried that "Jerry" would let it all hang out at the ceremony. But I ddn't have her and Conor there two hours early. At 5:00 I called and she told me that Conor was sleeping. She would be there for the reception with Conor but not the ceremony.

I, however, DID have some hazing to do. The groom had decided to make a wedding speech at MY wedding informing my family and friends of choice embarrassing tidbits of my past. He was expecting payback. He was worried but resigned about it. And he admitted to me that I should get it over with. I told him that, yes, the word will come out because I did owe him. During the ceremony I realized that, despite what I represented to him, I knew I couldn't do it. He and Nancy were wonderful people.

My performance over the last three days had convinced the others in the wedding party that I should emcee the reception, too. How could I say "No?" Then my wife and Conor arrived. Many of my old friends had not met her. Conor was there, too. He just turned two about two weeks before, and let me tell you that he is EVERYTHING you could picture a two year old to be.

During the first 90 minutes of the reception, very few people wondered where I was. During one of the times when Conor chose a path inside to inside the reception hall, one of the guest told me, "The kid's fast. I saw you chasing him down the fairway of the tenth hole." I lied and said he made it to the tee box of hole 11. He actually made it to the fairway of 14 by cutting through. The blisters on my heels are reminders of his energy.

Eventually, my lady took him back to the hotel. I got to party a bit more and hang out a bit. I was even told by the band, "Hey. They say you can sing." It was a joke - I've always been the one member of my bands without a microphone. But, since everyone was pressuring, I figured, "Okay. Your loss, folks." In discussing the song to sing, the band knew how to play "Miss You" by the Stones. It so happened the guitarist had a Telecaster that wasn't being used and I had a pick. Good time!

I never did haze Johan. I never did anything there that was not respectful and decent. The groom and bride had asked me to officiate their wedding, and to this day, it is probably the greatest honor I have ever received. They both deserved the honor that they earned.

Oh, yeah, as a sidenote, playing golf on Saturday was exhilarating. Having not played in a year and a half and only once in 40 months, I had lost all of my bad habits. Never had I hit the ball longer or straighter. Even using my piece-of-junk driver, I was averaging 280 per drive, and even knocked one about 320. A good golfer I was playing with said, "With a decent driver, you would have driven the green." It was a 369 yard hole. I think I'll wait 3 years until next time. I'll probably drive it 400!

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Snowwhite 0]

Congratulations on a job well done. My son is going to be officiating his first ceremony next month when my niece gets married. He graduated from Loyola in Chicago, and takes things as seriously as you obviously do.
I hope he will do as well as you did. I have every confidence in his ability.

skydiveTaylorville.org
freefallbeth@yahoo.com