Royd 0 #26 August 29, 2006 Congratulations! You have done your job, and fulfilled her dreams. She obviously thinks her presence is worthy of a free ride. Time to let someone else be the martyr. Set yourself free, Man. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #27 August 29, 2006 I have an infant and three school aged children and am able to keep the house clean and cook dinner and make cookies and drive them to wherever it is they need to go, etc. and find time for myself on occasion.... Also, you have given her permission to act this way. She's had no consequences and you are allowing yourself to be treated this way. Stand up for yourself. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbrian 0 #28 August 29, 2006 QuoteSo, am I in the wrong for saying enough is enough No. But you are wrong for not saying it two years ago. In a world full of people, only some want to fly... isn't that crazy! --Seal Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhys 0 #29 August 29, 2006 Cut that shit away!!! work less and jump more!! 80hours a week and that lazy shit wouldn't lift a finger!?! don't let her have the car, i repeat don't let her have the car. and yeas change the locks!"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #30 August 29, 2006 Today is Tuesday...can't you get her out by Wednesday?My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cameramonkey 0 #31 August 29, 2006 QuoteQuoteQuoteYou're lucky to get out with only a car payment. If the car is in her name, can't he simply stop making the payment? Yeah... and if I was in his shoes, I'd look at my options for recovering the money I'd put into the car. Coming from somebody who did the exact same thing when he was young and dumb naieve, get her out as fast as you can. even if it means paying for her to stay in a motel for however many days early you kick her out. Trust me, its gonna be safer. I did a similar thing. Let her move in (no kid luckilly) with no job. she sat on the internet all day and did nothing. I let her borrow my car a couple times. Just freinds... nothing serious (or sexual) I was getting slightly annoyed, but no big deal at this point. Then one day I go to clean up and find a notepad with several pages folded over. as I go thru them, i find the draft of a letter she was writing. she was saying derogatory things about me, including that "she woke up one AM with me on top of her, naked". that was the final straw. she climbed into bed with me one time to spoon, but that was it. oh, and part of the note she expressed how she couldnt wait to be out of my place, but it was good having a stable quiet free place to stay. So she gets home that night from being out with a guy freind, and I already had her bags packed. I had over $15,000 in easlily carry-able goodies (laptop, cameras, etc) that I wasnt about to lose. I found a few of my things in one of her bags already. I tell her she is gone immediately. she can stay with her guy freind. as they are carrying her bags down, he informs me that she has told him I raped her. With that accusation, I immediately sat down and wrote out what transpired, along with her note, etc. I still have that to this day in case that psycho ever decided to do something stupid. With all that being said, weigh your options. it may or may not be worth chasing her for the car payments. Yes, technically she owes you, but good luck getting a judge to not say "stupid you" for not having your name on it too. If your name ISNT on it... stop paying it. let her take the credit hit. Besides, if she isnt working, you cant get blood from a turnip. Unless its major money, I say lick your wounds and chalk it up to a learning experience. We all do stupid stuff... live and learn. (just dont do it again)Two wrongs don't make a right, however three lefts DO! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,565 #32 August 29, 2006 Excellent advice. It's only money, and not worth the space it'll take up in your head and your life if you can afford to lose it. It'll hurt you a lot more to keep messing with it, than it'll hurt her. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #33 August 29, 2006 QuoteHang in there....could be worse....could be ME! HEY!!! Where'd you get those - Those are private!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkymonkeyONE 4 #34 August 29, 2006 Tell her worthless, piece of shit ass to get the fuck out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #35 August 29, 2006 I may be mistaking you for someone else,but aren't you a cop? Your sig line says your a softy who lets people walk all over you. maybe you should handcuff the lazy bitch to the sidewalk. if you don't own the house I would consider moving out so she doesn't come back.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhaig 0 #36 August 29, 2006 eject eject eject!!!-- Rob Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #37 August 29, 2006 Take a day off work and kick her out. Change the locks the second she's out of the door.Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #38 August 29, 2006 Yeah...you're worong here. You should have booted her 2 years ago.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nubain1 0 #39 August 29, 2006 Not not a cop.jost a street legal drug pusher, a ditch Dr, a emt with big needles and electricity. a paramedic. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #40 August 29, 2006 oh, ok. my bad. well still you need to dope her up and move all your shit so she doesnt know where you wentMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Programmer 0 #41 August 29, 2006 Not much I can add here that hasn't already been said quite well. I would just emphasize that you need to look out for your credit card and cell phone accounts - can she use them? You say the car is in her name. Is the loan in her name? The name of the game at this point is self defense. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tink1717 2 #42 August 29, 2006 Dump that load by the side of the road. Get rid of that freeloading bitch and don't ever look back.Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off. -The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!) AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #43 August 29, 2006 To quote the Dude, "You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #44 August 29, 2006 QuoteOpiniion please........... I've been with this girl for almost 3 years. And for almost 2 of those years she has been out of work. She sits around the house all day doing nothing but reading,puzzles,knitting and eating. She will not help out around the house until we have a fight about it. Then it's nothing but attitude. She'll then clean a little but then the next day the house looks like it did before. I've complained that I've seen frat houses cleaner. I'm supporting her and her son. I work on avg.80-90 hrs a wk. and when I get time off I'm having to clean, cook, put out on demand. No matter how much I clean when I get back from work the next morning the house is trashed again. Now, after the fight we just had I'm being made out to be the bad guy. She says she will be out b y the end of the week and is trying to make me feel guilty. I had to go and buy a car today because the one we have is in her name and she said she was taking it when she leaves even though I'm the one that's been making all the payments on it. So, am I in the wrong for saying enough is enough and I can't take it anymore trying to do everything by myself with no help or no signs of any kind of appreciation for the work that I do? Any Ideas? And I think there's the possibility of something else happening on the side, but I can't prove it. Just a feeling. Was in the same place you are right now about 5 years ago. Let her go man. Let her keep the car chances are she wont’ be able to finish making the payments and lose it anyway. Also when and if she tries to come back make sure you stand your ground and not feel sorry for her. Don’t let her back do not give her another chance. I was nice and stupid and felt guilty and let her take my kindness for weakness again and again. As for nice guys finishing last, not really true. It is true about doormats but not nice guys. You will find someone else who appreciates all you do and realizes a nice guy is catch that is worth fighting for. Give it time and good luck.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FlankSteak 0 #45 August 29, 2006 Re-read your post. You have answered your own question. No question about it. Trust me, it is better to do it now then to not and continue to feel the way you do.______________________________________________ "...whatever stands against freedom must be set aside, be it ritual or superstition or limitation in any form." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #46 August 29, 2006 QuoteQuoteYou're lucky to get out with only a car payment. If the car is in her name, can't he simply stop making the payment? It was in reference to him saying I had to go and buy a car today not the payments he had made on hers. Like everyone else has said ... just get out. You'll be better off for it (even if it means you lose a few bucks - WAY cheaper in the long run!). 'Shell'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkR 0 #47 August 30, 2006 Been there, done that. Was in a similar situation a few years ago. Been an ugly break-up but - damn - was it worth it. Do it. Walk away, even if you still have feelings for her. Don't let your bad conscience stop you. Mine was turned against myself to be used as a weapon. You'll see more clearly once you've gotten yourself out of this mess. Piece of advice: Stick to your friends and family if it gets tough. Good luck.»Somewhere between the lies and truths borderlines get shady. Somewhere between the yesses and nos you can find the maybe.« Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites