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Michele

Performance Anxiety

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I have a really bad case of performance anxiety. In high school, I was terrible at algebra - failed it twice, only got through it because of a tutor. I have never been solid at math - sure, the easy stuff like following a budget and balancing the checkbook and so on I am capable of. But throw me an algebraic equation and I get cross-eyed, stutter, and my toes curl. My brain literally stops thinking.

In this last week, I've had two algebra classes. Did all the homework multiple times, read the book, took copious notes, understood everything. Even got up in class and solved an equation on the board (1 extra credit point earned each time...). I was helping *others* get some issues worked out on problems, too. I was feeling - if not good, at least capable of passing the first quiz.

But I didn't. I failed the first quiz. Failed it. My stomach rolled, my head buzzed, and I nearly vomited when the quiz paper was handed to me and it counted now. There were two problems, and I got one (the *harder* one involving fractions) correct, but didn't get the other one even close.

Fuck.

Did *all* 7 bonus questions (we can do that if we want) on the board; all harder than the ones on the quiz. Did them all and got all the bonus points offered...which, combined with the 1 extra credit point earned earlier, means I got enough to actually "pass" the quiz. But bonus points aren't available on the tests.

I'm beyond pissed at myself. I can do the work. I have been doing the work. I was helping OTHERS do the work. I could do the work on the bonus questions. I could do the work on the board.

But no, when it counts, I clutch up and panic. I can feel the connections in my brain refusing to work. I can feel my brain trying to escape it's case. And it doesn't happen with any other subject. If I study, I do fine in every other damned class I've ever taken. But not Math. And not Algebra.

I can't drop the class, not if I intend to get a degree. Actually, I'll need at least two more math classes to get a degree. So I can't drop it....and I don't want it to defeat me. But man oh man, I'm frustrated and already stressed.

Because tomorrow, I have my first "real" test in algebra. 10 questions, no bonus points. If I don't do well tomorrow night, it's going to be very hard to bring my numbers back up to passing from just class participation and homework and quiz bonus points.

I have a bad case of performance anxiety, and I don't know what to do about it.

[:/]

Ciels-
Michele


~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

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The thing I like about algebra is that typically, whatever math book you're using has all kinds of extra problems to solve. For example, when I had algebra, (in high school, then years later when I went back to college as an adult), we were only required to solve the even numbered problems. If I felt shaky, I just solved all of the problems.

The other thing that has helped me during tests is to skip a problem or question that I don't immediately know the answer to. Come back to those as there's time. You've had time to calm down at that point and gained some confidence by correctly answering other questions.

If you believe you're going to psych yourself out, you will. Imagine yourself staying calm, go in prepared, and trust that your brain will pull out the info it needs at the appropriate time.

I feel for you~it's only been a few years since my anatomy & physiology practicals and those were a bitch!!

Good luck!

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If I felt shaky, I just solved all of the problems.


I do that...and as I said, I'm fine with all of those problems. The issue only comes when it is a quiz or test...then I just can't function.

I'll try the skipping the problem idea, which I knew about but forgot (see? My brain doesn't work)...but that's hard when there are only two questions on a quiz...

Sigh. I'm just going to have to dog it through...but I hope I pass. I really don't want to start my return-to-college as a failure...that would just suck.

Ciels-
Michele


~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

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if your lecturer knows you can do the work, ask for an alternate way of assessing and explain to them that you freeze up. You should probably do this before the test day though.

I do poorly in exams for the same reason, at Uni I'd walk into exams with a High distinction avages and walk out lucky to pass the course. I'd throw up before exams and shake. I asked foir an oral exam for my resit in Biochemistry, and I had no problems with it.
I, like you knew al the work but could not regurgitate it in an exam or test setting.
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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I don't really have any advice, but U just want to sympathize with you. I did great in HS then in college, I bombed every test. It was horrible!

Now I am considering some Microsoft certs but they are nothing but tests. No thanks!!!!

~ Lisa
~ Do you Rigminder?

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Hi Michele!

I feel your pain! I'm in the same boat. I'm in my senior year and avoided math to the very last (wish I hadn't). Now I have two semesters of math to take if I want to graduate in May. I bombed the first quiz too.

Will send you positive thoughts from my math class to yours!
~skysprite

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Oh my gosh, Michelle, do I know what you're talking about. I would study SOOOO hard and know how to work the problems backwards and forwards....until exam time. Then it all became like Chinese or something. It happened so many times. What I did was work more and more and more problems. Even after I knew I knew how to do them I worked more. I'd still freeze from time-to-time, but I think sheer volume probably helped me more than anything else....especially in physics, which I never understood very well.
--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

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I echo the others' advice to ask the prof for an alternative testing method, such as oral, or extended time, etc.
But here's the extra thing: get a doctor or psychologist to issue you a written diagnosis of....whatever might qualify as a "disability" to compel the school, by law, to provide you with a "reasonable accomodation." (ADHD? Anxiety disorder? etc - whatever works.) I know of college students with ADHD who were allowed alternative testing methods as a "reasonable accomodation".

For college students, these rights fall under the ambit of the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) and Section 504. Here's a link to a very brief thumbnail explanation:


http://www.protectionandadvocacy-sc.org/ADA-504-College%20Students.htm


But - as I noted above, these students are generally required to have a written diagnosis from a doc or psychologist. Good luck!

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Depending on where you're transferring to, you may not need math. I didn't. My major (and all other majors outside of science/engineering/computers) had a math OR science requirement. Two maths, two sciences, one math one science. didn't matter. I took oceanography and genetics, and avoided all math classes.

That said, I tutor in algebra, so if you get stuck, you've got my phone number and I'd be happy to help you if I can.

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Michele,

If I lived in Cali near you, I'd work with you. Don't hate me, but I never got lower than an A in Math. I would do a trade: You help me with my writing skills and I'd help you with the math.

Seriously, talk to your professor. Tell him/her exactly what you told us. See what he/she can do to help you out. A good professor loves when a student reaches out.

Best of luck to you,
Chris



_________________________________________
Chris






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Holy crap, they threw a quiz at you already!?! My first quiz in algebra isn't until this Friday; hell I haven't even bought the book yet!!


No kidding. Yes, 2nd class was a quiz, third class an exam. Then a quiz on the 5th class, et cetera.

For all of those who've mentioned to speak with the professor, she is already aware of it. There I am, in class, doing the work, helping other students...working the problems at the board. When she saw the quiz, she looked at me and raised her eyebrows. I had the same feeling..."whathefuc???"

I do have a disability, and have been medicated for years for it. I could get my Dr. or therapist to give me a diagnosis of MDD with anxiety without issue...but can I really have the school make accomodations to handle my exam in math only differently? I'll make an appointment with the guidance counselor and see what we can work out.

It's just so damned strange that it only occurs in math; I'm willing to bet it will occur in chemistry, as well, but that's a bridge too many to even think of tonight.

Linz put it perfectly; I can work them backwards and forwards, in public and private, but as soon as it comes testing time, it's all chinese to me (which is rather funny, because my professor is Dr. Chen...). It's almost like I get lifted from one class and dropped into another...I sweat and shake and just can't form the right thoughts.

I'll talk to the professor and see what she can do. We have a student tutor who is at every class and helps teach, as well as floats and helps anyone she can. She's really wonderful; comes early and stays late. I've got her telephone and email...and have used it already. It's not for lack of instruction, nor for lack of understanding. It's simply a significant case of performance anxiety.

And yes, Kris, I have to take math. Hopefully I can squeak by this, and the other two classes I have to take...but I do have to take it. I know this will blow my GPA, but if I can pass, I'll be happy.

Just wish me the best tomorrow evening...

And thanks, all. It's good to know I'm not alone.

Ciels
Michele


~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

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[replyAnd yes, Kris, I have to take math. Hopefully I can squeak by this, and the other two classes I have to take...but I do have to take it. I know this will blow my GPA, but if I can pass, I'll be happy.
And thanks, all. It's good to know I'm not alone.

Ciels
Michele



Dont do that I'm a bad example:ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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Aw shit...sorry to hear this. Ain't it a bitch? I hove no other offering than to relax. I was always good at math and taking tests of all sorts so I can't relate really.

What if you created an alter ego and "taught" her the math using the quiz/test as the problem sheet?

I can offer the following though~:)
1. The secret to taking tests is aim for an F and miss.

Ok, Ok...so I stole the idea but ya gotta admit it was funny.
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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Aw shit...sorry to hear this. Ain't it a bitch? I hove no other offering than to relax. I was always good at math and taking tests of all sorts so I can't relate really.

What if you created an alter ego and "taught" her the math using the quiz/test as the problem sheet?

I can offer the following though~

1. The secret to taking tests is aim for an F and miss.

Ok, Ok...so I stole the idea but ya gotta admit it was funny.


Actually, that did make me laugh. Thanks. :)
I actually like the idea of an alter-ego...I wonder if I can do that, without the generally accepted trauma which tends to procede a dissociative state like that. I'd rather not experience the trauma, thanks very much.

Hrm...something to work on. Create MathGirl, superhero of algebraic equations. Her special weapon is a laserbeam spitting calculater, her emergency rescue item is a giant eraser, and she wears glasses which make her invisible to the instructor.

MATHGIRL! TO THE RESCUE!!!!

Maybe I'll meet her in class tonight...and pass the test.

Ciels-
Michele


~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

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Michelle,

One it sounds like Algebra has become your nemesis and therefore psychs you out a bit. Secondly you obviously suffer from extreme exam stress.

Most universities provide workshops through their student services department that deal directly with exam anxiety. Some people have found these quite helpfull.

You might want to spend a lot of time going to your professors office hours. This can be helpfull in two ways; one you can always get rapid feedback to problems, two if you get a marginal mark your professor might bump it up if he/she see's that you have been constantly coming for help.

It is also usefull to consider the fact that exams are as much psychological as academic. It is easy to know the material yet fall apart as soon as you see the exam. You need to take care if your mental/emotional status before writing a test..for example;
> Get a good nights sleep. Do not cram all night (diminishing returns on that)
>Realise that if you are reviewing it the morning of, you will likely forget it all even if you knew it the night before. This is normal, all knowledge will return if you relax.
> Do not keep reviewing right up untill the exam. Stop at least an hour or so before or you will fry yourself.
>Do not enter the exam room until the last minute or you will simply sit there surrounded by other people whose stress will affect you.
>Expect that everything on the exam will look different from the homework and you will initially draw a blank. This is normal. Relax, start working on what you can and a picture will start coming together.
>Even if the exam is going to shit, stay relaxed.

You should also ask to speak to a learning strategist (free consultations at most universities), so as to determine your learning style. There are several different styles of learning and if the way you have been taught to approach things is not consistent with your style then you are not getting as much cognitive understanding per unit of study as you could.

If you do not know where to start finding these resources, approach your professor and ask him/her. I always find it a shame when otherwise bright people keep stumbling due to a learning problem that may very well be correctable.

Sorry for being longwinded but I felt compelled to offer my input.

Good luck with your studies.

Richards
My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.

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Thank you, Richards. I have taken advantage of her office hours, the class has a tutor assigned to it (who informed me she didn't know how to help me, as I knew how to do all the work...), and there is a math lab available. I will be hitting the lab tomorrow, as that's the only thing I haven't taken advantage of.

And I plan on speaking with the professor tomorrow after class...surprisingly, I can handle word problems; can't handle straight equations on exams. I think it's because I'm very, very comfortable with words, and it gives me something else to do rather than just stare at numbers which make no sense.

I don't think I did well on the test yesterday, however. There were 9 problems. The exam started at 6:30. I left the room about 8 pm, having done all the problems at least three times (and often arriving at different solutions each time. Sigh...). I was the last in the room, to my shame (I'm usually in the first group out), and felt badly at the end because it felt like I was making the professor wait on me. She's so kind, and very clear that I wasn't wasting her time, but it sure felt that way anyway.

I will look into the other avenues you mention. I am also going to see my RXing Dr, and see what we might be able to do about the anxiety I get. And I will be talking to my therapist about it, as well.

I've got lots of avenues of attack; I just don't know which one will work...and I am feeling so frustrated about all of this.

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I always find it a shame when otherwise bright people keep stumbling due to a learning problem that may very well be correctable.


I hope it is correctable...I'd hate to have this end my college career.

Ciels-
Michele


~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

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Hi Michelle,

Glad you are taking steps to get help. In particular get assessed for learning stlye. That can be critical. It sounds like you put a lot of effort in and that usually pays off in the end. Even if this difficulty prevents you from getting the exact mark that you want, it sounds like you have a strong work ethic so I wouldn't worry about this problem ending your academic career .

Cheers,

Richards
My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.

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Just wanted to let you all know that I got my score last night in class.

The test was 9 questions, with 6 bonus questions. I did all the questions, multiple times. I took over 2 hours, and used 6 full pages of paper. I checked and rechecked my answers, plugging in the values and starting over when I needed to.

On the test, I received a score of 95. I got all the bonus questions correctly, and so scored 101 out of 106. I looked at the paper last night, and I swear, my professor was incredibly generous. She says not, and the class tutor says not, but I think she was.

I have an appointment with the school's disabilities counselor, but it's not for about 10 days. I told the professor and the tutor about the anxiety, and that I was taking steps to remediate that, including getting the counseling from the school, and seeing what needs to be done. They are both fully behind me, and both have offered to help however they can.

I am very surprised at my score. And I must say, I'm pretty proud of it, too. I think that it's my highest score in any math class ever. It has also shown me that even though I get very anxious and have problems thinking clearly when faced with a test, that I can do it anyway, and that there is hope for me after all.

For all those who've offered tips, advice, tutoring help, and just general commiseration, I appreciate it greatly. I have, as I said, taken this seriously this time, and will be taking steps to find out how to address this more effectively and with less mind-blowing stress, and get help from those who are there to help. I appreciate the encouragement to do so...and it might just mean that I get through this class without a major cardial infarction (which would, you understand, suck).

YAY ME!!!!

Ciels-
Michele


~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

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Yay You !!!!!............... is right..B|;)
101... !!!!!!!!!!! very good.
I had a science teacher in HS.... back so many years ago,, that i can't believe i remember it.
but she used to say.
"hard work, rich rewards"...
seems like that applies to You.
keep up the good study habits...
jmy:)

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surprisingly, I can handle word problems; can't handle straight equations on exams. I think it's because I'm very, very comfortable with words, and it gives me something else to do rather than just stare at numbers which make no sense.



Have you tried turning each equation on the exam into a word problem in your head?

Congrats on the A. B|

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