Brighten up a dull Tuesday

[CriticalLF 0]

I was trying to find a bit of fun to brighten up a dull tuesday and the comedian Peter Kay had this to say:

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when
your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits
55378008 into a calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to
have a fire in your back garden.

Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy
ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to
call your teacher mum or dad.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill
you at the first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half
way through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when
you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has
had their arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and
stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece
of wood specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

If anyone has other universal truths, lets hear them

The CLF

The CLF

On break off turn and track as far and as fast as possible....
Because not only your life depends on it but so does mine!!

[popsjumper 2]

Everything's fine until you do something stupid.

Do not get involved with Debbie in Boynton Beach.

Put aside 50% of your income for a divorce day.

If it can happen, it will.

Sorority girls rock!

Catholic girls can't say no.

Solo sex is better than no sex.

Never grow old...it sucks.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[turtlespeed 226]

Quote

Everything's fine until you do something stupid.

Do not get involved with Debbie in Boynton Beach.

Put aside 50% of your income for a divorce day.

If it can happen, it will.

Sorority girls rock!

Catholic girls can't say no.

Solo sex is better than no sex.

Never grow old...it sucks.

Andy, you sound a bit depressed.
Are you ok?
Do you need someone to reach out to?
Do I need to start a "vibes" thread for you?
Exactly how much does it suck to grow old?

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun