BlindBrick 0 #1 October 3, 2006 Saturday night, my 2 and a half year old son was killed in an auto crash. There's no idinidcation that the driver who struck the carhe was riding in was drunk or acting in a grossly negligent way. It simply appears to be a horrible accident. My family is looking at me like I'm crazy because I've told them that if the DA presses charges, I'd ask the judge to be as lenient as possible so as not to destroy another family. Sending this woman to jail will not raise my son from the dead, it will only generate more grief. But I seem to be the only that sees that. Am I wrong to feel that way? -Blind"If you end up in an alligator's jaws, naked, you probably did something to deserve it." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #2 October 3, 2006 No, as a matter a fact, I think you are probably one of the best parents possible just from this post. Forgiveness is the hardest thing to learn. I am so incredibly sorry about your son and just realize , your family may think you are crazy, but thats how they are handling their grief right now and one day they also will forgive or they will never progress in healing.Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 4 #3 October 3, 2006 No, its not wrong, some people are more forgiving and understanding than others. Sorry to hear about your son. Was the car that hit the other one at fault? run a red light or something?depending on details, i don't see why the da would bring up charges.CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #4 October 3, 2006 If it was just a horrible accident and the other driver was doing nothing wrong or out of the ordinary, it's easier to forgive. I'm sure that woman needs to hear it, knowing that she killed a little kid and is having to live with that. My deepest condolences for your horrible loss... I cannot imagine your pain... even though I have a 6 month old girl. Think I'm going to hug her now."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #5 October 3, 2006 Not wrong at all...you have more strength than so many people. Words cannot express my sympathy for you and your family. Nobody should ever have to bury a child. I am so terribly sorry to hear you're going through this, but the fact that you can see what this will do to that woman and her family...you have such great courage. -All my love to your family. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpjunkie2004 0 #6 October 3, 2006 I'm so very sorry for your loss - no one should have to endure the loss of their child. There aren't words that anyone can say to make this time less difficult. You are a wonderful individual to have the ability to think beyond your emotions and to find a rational and compassionate way to deal with this tragedy. You are in my thoughts.Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #7 October 3, 2006 My prayers for you and your son. May God give you strength to stand by your convictions whatever they may be.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Butters 0 #8 October 3, 2006 If the other driver was not negligent in any way then it would be wrong to be anything but what you are. Just think if the situation were reversed and you did nothing wrong but were involved in an accident where someone was killed. Accidents happen. I will hope for you and your family to have the strength to get through the ebb and flow of life."That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #9 October 3, 2006 I cannot possibly express my complete sympathy and feelings of compassion for your loss. I think your'e entitled to feel however you like but asking for leniency may have a negative impact on yet a life of another if the actions of that person are not examined fully in a court of law. Just remember they will have the fairest trial possible and you ned not sway the courts opinion one way or another. Let justice have it's say. Once again I am very sorry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #10 October 3, 2006 I'm am so sorry to read this, my deepest condolences to you and your family. Please let us know if your dz.com family can do anything for you.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jdthomas 0 #11 October 3, 2006 Jack When Christina told me of what happend with your son it really upset me and I want you to know that we are both so sorry for your loss. I think that you are doing the right thing by not pressing the issue if this was just an accident. You are a good man and we are sorry for your loss. Joewww.greenboxphotography.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #12 October 3, 2006 Well Jack, no it's not. I am sorry over the loss of Riley-I think I only spent time with him once, holding him and playing with him, but what a cute, playful kid! Anyway, as a Christian my personal belief is to forgive no matter what. I think your post was really a great post. We'll be praying for you during this difficult time. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #13 October 3, 2006 Not wrong, you seem to recognize that seeking vengeance for what seems to be true accident is not going to bring your baby back. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I am not a parent, so I can only imagine your heartbreak. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #14 October 3, 2006 Forgiveness is a gift--both to yourself and to the lady involved. I commend you for recognizing that your response in this situation is a choice and that how you decide to move forward will have a lot to do with how you heal. It doesn't sound like a situation in which punishment will serve a higher purpose other than retribution. I can certainly understand why your family would feel tremendous anger along with their grief, but your description does make it sound like a tragic accident rather than a situation with a flippant driver who was at fault. From my perspective, we could all use a little more leniency in the small things, as well as the big ones such as this. Whatever happens next, I wish you and your family the best, and pray that you'll have a tremendous amount of support surrounding you--not just now, but in the months and years ahead.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlindBrick 0 #15 October 3, 2006 Quote Was the car that hit the other one at fault? run a red light or something?depending on details, i don't see why the da would bring up charges. The car my son was in had slowed for the car in front of it to turn. They were struck from behind by the other driver who hadn't realized that the cars had slowed down. The speed limit on that stretch of highway is 70 and the car my son was in is an Impala which have poor rear impact ratings. Just a big combination of bad things. I am angry at the driver, but I've almost ran up on people like that numerous times. It could have just have easily been me in another time and place. I don't know if the DA will press charges or not, but if thye choose to and she wasn't drunk or grossly negligent, I can't see ruining her family to avenge mine. -Blind"If you end up in an alligator's jaws, naked, you probably did something to deserve it." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #16 October 3, 2006 It's the wise and compassionate ones who could look through such grief and pain with clear perspective. Blame and punishment are not always just, but sometimes more of a salve. I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm so grateful for your reason. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #17 October 3, 2006 QuoteIt could have just have easily been me in another time and place. The ability to empathize is a skill that many people use all too rarely. Kudos to you for doing exactly that."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #18 October 3, 2006 Quote Sending this woman to jail will not raise my son from the dead, it will only generate more grief. But I seem to be the only that sees that. Am I wrong to feel that way? I thkn you are totally within your rights to do so..... and it shows what Christ came to this world to teach ...how to forgive and learn to live with one another. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #19 October 3, 2006 You are showing amazing strength. Most people dont have the character to think of anyone but themselves in this type of situation. My prayers are with you and your family. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 2 #20 October 3, 2006 Jack, I don't know you personally, but as one father to another I am so sorry for your loss. On the news today, it was discussed that the families of the Amish children who were victims of that shooting yesterday were doing their best to forgive the man who did that and extend compassion to his family. I don't know if I could find it within me to do the same thing. But to me, that's the epitome of the nobility of being a decent human being, and you're doing the same thing. It's also part of the healing process, and I hope it helps you through that, too. Condolences and comfort to you and your family. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #21 October 3, 2006 QuoteSaturday night, my 2 and a half year old son was killed in an auto crash. There's no idinidcation that the driver who struck the carhe was riding in was drunk or acting in a grossly negligent way. It simply appears to be a horrible accident. My family is looking at me like I'm crazy because I've told them that if the DA presses charges, I'd ask the judge to be as lenient as possible so as not to destroy another family. Sending this woman to jail will not raise my son from the dead, it will only generate more grief. But I seem to be the only that sees that. Am I wrong to feel that way? -Blind Your a bigger man than I am. I know that forgivness is not about condoning actions but about releasing the anger and pain which would otherwise turn in on you. Forgiveness isn't forgetting either. I know these things but God forbid if ever I was in your position I pray that I would have the strength of character that you are displaying. God bless you and your family.When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #22 October 3, 2006 QuoteI am not a parent, so I can only imagine your heartbreak. That's wierd. I am a parent, so I can't imagine his heartbreak. Everyone deals with grief differently...I don't think I'd be able to utter/type the words "my daughter was killed Saturday night" That said, I know in my head and heart that what everyone else is saying is the truth. It's not only "not wrong" to give forgiveness in such a situation, it's the morally right thing to do. Blindbrick - You have my absolute sincerest condolences. I can't imagine your pain and wish I knew something to say that would have the slightest chance of alleviating it. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #23 October 3, 2006 To me, forgiveness here is one of the noblest and highest things you can do. I'm very very sorry for your loss. I hope that your act of forgiveness will help heal your pain. I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #24 October 3, 2006 I agree with everyone... Your heart and strength is amazing. I am deeply sorry for the heartbreak you must be enduring. May your forgiveness help you find peace with this tragedy. Bless your lil one. g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #25 October 3, 2006 Sorry about your loss. It's gonna betortue to live through it, but it was purely an accident than I would tend not to press charges. however if there was a DUI or some sort of thing like that involved I would push to the max extent of the law. I hope you and your family can find some peace in this time.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
