porpoishead 8 #1 October 6, 2006 dinty moore beefstew, WTF OVER....... was on a barge offshore (gulf of mexico) and hungry as a hostage, was directed to a shelf in the wheelhouse where canned food was spotted, selected the can of hell due to the friendly household name it provided (mistake #1). no can opener of course, after considering cutting it open with a torch thus heating it at the same time, opted to pound a knife thru the can and peel the top back. now never having eaten the stuff I had no idea what it is supposed to look like, but wtf beef stew is beef stew and its canned so the shit last forever right (mistake #2). so it didnt look juicy and stuff like in the picture, was kinda solid and well fuked up lookin, but I just figured thats how the can settled so I gave it a good swirl with the knife, smelled it, and proceeded to eat the entire contents, pieces of metal and all from the brutal opening. now i'm sitting in a coil of hose thinking "that hit the spot" AT THIS POINT is when I decide to read the can, right there right across the picture it reads" NO PRESERVATIVES " . i'm almost certain I had a really fukedup look on my face as I thought to my self " how could that be this stuff must have a shelf life" stamped on the bottom of the can was " best if eaten by nov 20 1996 " never even crossed my mind to even go there. (mistake #3). even if the stuff has a five year shelf life I ate some 15yearold beef stew. damn that sucks. had heart burn maybe twice in my lifetime that was one of em................................if you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
