What am I doing wrong?! Teacher point of view would be nice...hint hint parents too!!

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

"Maybe it's an early lesson that he is not necessarily going to be perfect at everything."


I agree, you know I THINK I may have said this to him, but maybe it needs to be repeated.

He does like the option of getting a tutor, so I am working on that.

" I can only imagine that if he holds himself to such a high standard at a young age, that there are going to continue to be things that he struggles at that will cause him even greater stress down the road"

TOTALLY agree!!! Which that thought causes me a great amount of stress!!

I appreciate you insight. Thank you.

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[Nightingale 0]

Not a parent, but a former teacher and current math tutor...

I think part of the pressure is coming from the fact that you're the person helping him. When he doesn't do as well as he wants to, he may be seeing it as letting you down, even though you tell him otherwise. You were the person who sat next to him and put in all the extra work, and when he doesn't do well, he may feel like the work you've done for him was wasted.

If you've got a Sylvan around, that's a really good option. The other option is to call your local colleges and ask if they have a tutor list.

Interview the tutors in person before choosing one, and ask about their educational experiences. This might sound strange, but pick a tutor who didn't do well in math in high school, but feels comfortable with it now. You don't want a tutor who found math easy, because they'll have trouble understanding why your kid doesn't get it and where he's going wrong. If the tutor is someone that just "gets" math, they often have a hard time working with a kid who doesn't get it. I tutor through a referral service (people call the office, and the office refers tutors to the person, so the tutors don't have to find clients... it's a LOT more expensive for the clients, tho), and I'm one of the most often requested tutors, mainly because I can understand where a kid is going wrong and why, because I made the same mistakes when I was in school, so I spot them very quickly, understand the thought processes behind the errors, and can correct them.

While math isn't my favorite subject, it's my favorite subject to teach, because I can relate to the kids, and it seems to really help them when they see someone who failed Algebra II twice actually be able to get it and explain it.


Also, it sounds like he's got a perfectionist personality, and that's something that might need to be addressed through counseling. It's really hard for someone who usually succeeds easily in academics to understand that it's okay to fail sometimes; it's okay not to be perfect. It's a tough thing to accept, and kids don't want to hear it from mom and dad, because they know mom and dad are trying to make them feel better, so they might not believe it.

[shermanator 4]

the idea of a tutor is a very good one. I like hte idea stated above with finding someone who has struggle, but now 'gets it'. When i was in math, i wasnt super math person, but i would 'get it' after i took it home, and broke everything apart step by step, and would then be able to help everyone in the class who didnt get it. It was the same thing, same steps that the teacher would give, but i would just explain it differently, sometimes a different way from person to person. Everyone has different learning styles. it would be good to find you're child's. Or what i would do, when not sure what someone's was, is combine them while helping them out.. talk through the problem, while using visuals, and at the same time, having THEM do the actual work . that method seemed to work really well for me. good luck.

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[FallinWoman 1]

I am a math teacher...of high school freshmen. I have in one of my classes this year a boy who sounds a lot like your son. He has been staying up until 4 in the morning to get his math homework done. Here is the solution that his mom and I have come up with:

There are no due dates for this student, as long as he is continuing to work. Which he does. what that has meant is that the pressure to get the work done in a certain amount of time is off and he can now work on the assignments AND get some sleep. He has gotten into a rhythm of turning in the assignements one or two class periods after they are due. His anxiety has gone down a ton.

The deal, though, is that if he stops working or stops turning stuff in, he has to go back to the time frame the other students have.

~Anne

I'm a Doll!!!!

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

Thats a really great idea that you have worked out with that student, unfortunately/fortunately my son doesn't get homework in that class.


Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[Nightingale 0]

If the teacher is doing a good job, a no-homework format can be very successful. The AP Calculus teacher at my high school didn't believe in giving homework and had a 90%+ pass rate for his students on the AP test.

In his math book, there are probably the answers to the odd or even numbered problems in the back of the book. Use these (or have the tutor use them) to review the day's lesson. That way, you can have him do a few problems, and then check the answers to make sure he's got it.

Another thing that can be done is you can order a copy of the teacher's manual for his textbook (or ask the school if they have an extra that you can buy or put a depost on that you get back when you return it). In the manual, there will be more detailed explanations, as well as teaching techniques, plus the answers to all the problems in the book. I think one of the main reasons I finally managed to pass Algebra II was that I badgered my mom into getting a copy of the manual.

[waltappel 1]

I guess it's finally time to explain to your son why he has to wear the foam helmet and ride the short bus to school!

(Bobbi, you *know* I'm just kidding!!!!)

I'm both a former math retard and a former college math tutor, so I've seen both sides of it.

Different kinds of math require different kinds of cognitive abilities. For example, doing Alebra is like doing a puzzle but Calculus often requires the ability to visualize in three dimensions.

Take a close look at the kind of math he is doing and find out what kind of thinking is required to do it. That may sound like a very odd thing to do, but it's important if you want him to "get it". Males tend to be very visually oriented and easily learn things that can be illustrated with a picture. If the kind of math your son is doing is visual in nature, have him draw a picture of the problems he is working on. If he has trouble doing that, he needs to work on that skill.

If the math he is doing does not lend itself to visualization very well, like Algebra, then it is *crucial* that he get some instruction from someone who can communicate the material on his wavelength until he can start seeing general patterns for that type of problem solving.

Like anything else, getting good at math takes a lot of practice, but there are some fundamental problem-solving skills that need to be developed. Find out what skills he needs and work on those.

Does this make sense?

Walt