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jgoose71

If your girl fools around with another girl, is it cheating?

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In my book -

Lying about fooling around with _anyone_ is cheating, no matter what sex the other person is. If you are honest about it, then it's not cheating - again, no matter what sex.



So let's say I'm married and I tell my wife I'm going to go have sex with a couple of hookers and, despite her objections, I did it anyway. Was I cheating or not?

Walt

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My question is:

Do you have to be honest before or after the act?:o


Some people will be honest if asked, but won't volunteer the info.

IMO Thats fucked.

(I'm being literal but I believe Bill means aslong as its ok with your partner before that act than, all's well.)
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I went to the experts at http://www.cheaters.com and, following a link, found THE definition of cheating, i.e., infidelity:

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As explained by Then (1999), regardless of their religious orientation, most people agree and understand that marriage vows implicitly and explicitly include a promise of “forsaking all others” (p. 4). When this promise is broken, infidelity has occurred in a marriage.



Permission has nothing to do with it.

Walt

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I went to the experts at http://www.cheaters.com and, following a link, found THE definition of cheating, i.e., infidelity:



Cheating doesn't mean infidelity, it means "breaking the rules". If a particular couple's rules allow for informed, consensual infidelity, than such acts are not "cheating."

Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

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If I actually suggested such a thing I would probably get slapped, but it did seem to be a very intellectual and philosophical topic that needed to be asked amongst the enlightened:)
"There is an art, it says, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
Life, the Universe, and Everything

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but that means that everyone has to follow the same "rules" to marriage.


if that was the case why does it matter who you're married to. It's all going to be the same, right?


What does that say abot polygamists? THat' is THEIR religious belief.:S

the Def. also says MOST PEOPLE.
I disagree with alotof things these days.
Marriage, it seems, it just a way for the court system to get their greedy little hands on your money when you are going through personal termoil.

Marriage has nothing to do with that piece of paper and the rules society lays on you. It is between two people who should be in love.

If a man and women decide they would like to shake things up and they both agree, than that is a perfectly acceptable "rule."

Right?
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but that means that everyone has to follow the same "rules" to marriage.


For the definition to apply, yes.

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if that was the case why does it matter who you're married to. It's all going to be the same, right?


Some people would agree with that.:D:D

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What does that say abot polygamists? THat' is THEIR religious belief.:S


Any man who has more than one wife must be some sort of glutton for punishment. That aside, he is committing adultery--the marriages occuring *after* the first one are not valid. He's cheating.

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the Def. also says MOST PEOPLE.
I disagree with alotof things these days.
Marriage, it seems, it just a way for the court system to get their greedy little hands on your money when you are going through personal termoil.

Marriage has nothing to do with that piece of paper and the rules society lays on you. It is between two people who should be in love.

If a man and women decide they would like to shake things up and they both agree, than that is a perfectly acceptable "rule."

Right?


I agree. People who are married can define any rules they want, including the rule that adultery is ok. That doesn't mean that they are not committing adultery just because they've agreed that it's ok.

Walt

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What does that say abot polygamists? THat' is THEIR religious belief.:S





So if you have 2 wives and they fool around with each other, are they cheating on you? This could get really confusing.....:S
"There is an art, it says, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
Life, the Universe, and Everything

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I went to the experts at http://www.cheaters.com and, following a link, found THE definition of cheating, i.e., infidelity:



Cheating doesn't mean infidelity, it means "breaking the rules". If a particular couple's rules allow for informed, consensual infidelity, than such acts are not "cheating."

Blues,
Dave



Sure, and Clinton "did not have sex with that woman". It all depends on how you want to define cheating.

Walt

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What does that say abot polygamists? THat' is THEIR religious belief.:S





So if you have 2 wives and they fool around with each other, are they cheating on you? This could get really confusing.....:S



Nope. The second marriage is invalid so the first woman you married is committing adultery and therefore cheating.

Walt

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Well, aren't they free to seek religion without persecution?

If that's their religion why is it invalid?
Unless you mean that Marriage has nothing to do with religion and is an contract set up by the law/gov't to help the woman, who in the golden ages didn't work, support her family after a man left her.


And since I think that's more true than "marriage is the union of two people" in todays world it would be a risky Business decision for the man since the only thing it would do is serve him financial harm. In todays world women can work and if they get divorced most men lose everything and still have to foot the bill.

I think the Contract needs to be re-written for today's age.

What's mine is hers and what's hers is hers is the old motto.:D
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What does that say abot polygamists? THat' is THEIR religious belief.:S





So if you have 2 wives and they fool around with each other, are they cheating on you? This could get really confusing.....:S



Nope. The second marriage is invalid so the first woman you married is committing adultery and therefore cheating.

Walt



Why is the second marriage invalid? :S

Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

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Well, aren't they free to seek religion without persecution?


Not in this country.

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If that's their religion why is it invalid?


Because in our culture marriage is between two people.

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Unless you mean that Marriage has nothing to do with religion and is an contract set up by the law/gov't to help the woman, who in the golden ages didn't work, support her family after a man left her.


Marriage is both a union of two people acknowledged that is acknowledged by law and, for many, a religious union. The boundaries and rules don't necessarily overlap.

For the sake of discussion, though, let's say that marriage is a union that requires a divorce to dissolve legally.

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And since I think that's more true than "marriage is the union of two people" in todays world it would be a risky Business decision for the man since the only thing it would do is serve him financial harm. In todays world women can work and if they get divorced most men lose everything and still have to foot the bill.

I think the Contract needs to be re-written for today's age.

What's mine is hers and what's hers is hers is the old motto.:D



I'm sure a lot of people think the whole institution of marriage is outdated. That's ok. In this day and age there is little reason for most people to get married and very little social pressure either way.

Men do seem to often get a raw deal in a divorce, but I see the solution to that is to stay single.

Walt

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>So let's say I'm married and I tell my wife I'm going to go have sex
> with a couple of hookers and, despite her objections, I did it
> anyway. Was I cheating or not?

You weren't cheating, but you might end up divorced anyway! And at least you'll know up front what's going to happen.

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Nope. The second marriage is invalid so the first woman you married is committing adultery and therefore cheating.

Walt



Why is the second marriage invalid? :S

Blues,
Dave



I believe polygamy is illegal in all 50 states in the US. If a person is currently married, they cannot legally marry without first getting divorced.

Walt

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I believe polygamy is illegal in all 50 states in the US. If a person is currently married, they cannot legally marry without first getting divorced.



So the concept of "cheating" is based on local laws. If you're breaking them, it's cheating. If you're not, it's not.

Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

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I believe polygamy is illegal in all 50 states in the US. If a person is currently married, they cannot legally marry without first getting divorced.



So the concept of "cheating" is based on local laws. If you're breaking them, it's cheating. If you're not, it's not.

Blues,
Dave



I wish it were that simple. It's a combination of laws and cultural, religious, and personal views. Laws are just the easiest to point to as a reference point--at least for me.

Walt

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