Skyrad 0 #1 November 14, 2006 Hi I'd post this in the womans forum but I'm banned after my wee joke about the veils OK, so the question is what makes you feel claustrophobic in a relationship?When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SmilingPhoenix 0 #2 November 14, 2006 "I think I'm falling in love with you" Yup, that would do it.Because life is an adventure - it may not be the one you planned, but then it wouldn't be an adventure! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karenmeal 0 #3 November 14, 2006 Being trapped in a small dark room with a low ceiling. "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #4 November 14, 2006 Quoteclaustrophobic in a relationship? When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,584 #6 November 14, 2006 Feeling like I'm being herded in a "togetherness" direction in everything, or feeling as though my feelings are somehow wrong because I don't see things the same way. It's those unspoken expectations. Also, being reminded that my actions are in charge of someone else's happiness. They're not. Your happiness is your problem, mine is my problem. A compatible relationship keeps in mind what the other likes and doesn't like, but doesn't crush each person with the knowledge that missteps are the cause of misery. Too much togetherness can be as bad as too little. How much is too much or too little depends on the people, too. What's too much for some might be too little for others. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #7 November 14, 2006 Quote"I think I'm falling in love with you" Yup, that would do it. Butt Secks?Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #8 November 14, 2006 Quote It's those unspoken expectations. If they are unspoken then how do you know if they are really there or your just your interpretation of what you think is going on (This honestly isn't a PA and I'm glad you responded to this thread, I'm just curious) QuoteToo much togetherness can be as bad as too little. Do you just mean physically being together or something more than that? ThanksWhen an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetness 0 #9 November 14, 2006 Quote Too much togetherness can be as bad as too little. How much is too much or too little depends on the people, too. What's too much for some might be too little for others. Wendy W. Very well said ! I feel the same about that. "Ha ! I laugh at danger and drop ice cubes down the vest of fear ..." (Blackadder) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SarahC07 0 #10 November 14, 2006 QuoteQuoteFeeling like I'm being herded in a "togetherness" direction in everything, or feeling as though my feelings are somehow wrong because I don't see things the same way. It's those unspoken expectations. Also, being reminded that my actions are in charge of someone else's happiness. They're not. Your happiness is your problem, mine is my problem. A compatible relationship keeps in mind what the other likes and doesn't like, but doesn't crush each person with the knowledge that missteps are the cause of misery. Too much togetherness can be as bad as too little. How much is too much or too little depends on the people, too. What's too much for some might be too little for others. ding, ding, ding! Smart answer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #11 November 14, 2006 Probably the obvious... someone who is smothering. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #12 November 14, 2006 Quotewhat makes you feel claustrophobic in a relationship? Standing in the doorway of the bathroom while I brush my teeth--or do anything else in there for that matter. I feel trapped. Seriously.Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #13 November 14, 2006 QuoteProbably the obvious... someone who is smothering. Ok, what makes you feel smothered?When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydivermom 0 #14 November 14, 2006 When I get treated absolutely horribly for 2 months and then he suddenly decides he wants me and smothers me with attention and affection that I do not believe is real....and I don't want to be around him at that point anyway.Mrs. WaltAppel All things work together for good to them that love God...Romans 8:28 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shotgun 1 #15 November 14, 2006 QuoteOK, so the question is what makes you feel claustrophobic in a relationship? Stuff like this. (NSFW ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #16 November 14, 2006 BLOODY HELL!.... Its Hans Solo after his sex change!When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,584 #17 November 14, 2006 Quotehow do you know if they are really there or your just your interpretation of what you think is going onThat's a perfectly valid question, and gets to the heart of it. You can't know. How do you guess? Well, if she wants to go out with friends, and you act kind of blue because you'd hoped she'd stay with you. If she wants to take her dog to training classes on a night that she's spent watching a particular program with you in the past (this one happened to me). If you call her repeatedly every day, during the day, "just to hear her voice" and she never calls you back for the same reason, and never says "gosh I'm so glad you call me all the time." And the point really is different for different people. Not everyone has "a point" that they can point to; it might even be different for one partner than the next. It's an interaction. But the part I said about feeling as though someone else's happiness is dependent on you is a huge piece of it for me. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #18 November 14, 2006 Not having time to or for myself. I need to be alone at times. I enjoy the quietness of a house all to myself. I also need time with my girlfriends. Don't call to check up on me and ask how my dinner is/going, don't call me and ask if I am gonna stay out all night @ 2 in the morning. If it is that time, you can bet your ass I am planning on staying out all night!If I don't get "my time" I am extremely bitchy! OBTW...he gets to go out too, no questions asked. For me, it is a double edged sword. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #19 November 14, 2006 Thanks Wendy, thats interesting. I agree totally about the happiness thing.When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #20 November 14, 2006 I completely agree, except for one point. If I can reasonably expect you to come home on a night when you end up staying out all night, a phone call is appreciated. Note, this is only on nights when I have reason to believe you may be coming over, not necessarily every night. Because if I think you might be coming over and I don't hear from you, I get worried. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #21 November 14, 2006 Yes Daddy!! I look at it this way, I'll call ya if there is a problem. You OR I am a big boy/girl, and I already have one father. I very rarely stay out all night though. With my girls I always have a DD so no worries there. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #22 November 14, 2006 Yeah, but it's kind of hard to place a phone call when you're tied up in the trunk of some serial killer's car. I know, it's an extreme example, but it happens. It's just a courtesy. If you're going to be out all night, a quick phone call or even a text message takes two seconds and can ease your SO's mind. And it goes both ways, if I'm going to be out all night I'd send one, too. I'm not attempting to control anyone, or tell you what you can and can't do, just asking that you be courteous. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #23 November 15, 2006 To a bloke that sounds reasonable, but does it sound reasonable to women? Or would that be seen as suffocating and or controlling behaviour?When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #24 November 15, 2006 Depends on how it's presented. If it's "you call and tell me where you are" that's one thing... if it's "please don't make me worry" that's different. I know it's probably hard to understand.... but one is control, the other care. It's a thin line. But... if she cares about him, he shouldn't HAVE to tell her to call... she just would. So the TELLING her to call is a bit unnecessary. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #25 November 15, 2006 QuoteBut... if she cares about him, he shouldn't HAVE to tell her to call... she just would. So the TELLING her to call is a bit unnecessary. That's all I was trying to say! Thank you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
