Curtain Rods ( very funny)

[Acensky 0]

CURTAIN RODS

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates
and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her
things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their
beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft
background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of
caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and
deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into
the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen
and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss
for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place
out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam
cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during
which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they
even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing
worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused
to work in the house...The maid quit... Finally, they could not
take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and
eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their
calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He
told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely,
and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be
willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed
on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been
worth...But only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the
paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as
they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their
new home...




...including the curtain rods.


Heather.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

[PLFXpert 0]

I was just about to post this in the Women's Forum.

Good thing I did a search first.

This was hilarious! I just received it via e-mail.

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[Squeak 17]

Thanks for the heads-up

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[skydiver30960 0]

I saw the same thing a while ago...

except it was written from the other side of the fence where the ex-husband was the hero of the story.

Good story though. Lucky for me the fiance hates seafood.

Elvisio "pete and repete were walking down the street" rodriguez